Behind Every Lie(50)

“Rose. Is she really dead?” I asked David.

“Yes. I’ll never forgive myself for it. She jumped into the river while I was away for work. I didn’t realize she was missing until I returned.”

“Did they find her body?”

For a moment David looked like he’d be sick. “In central London the width of the river, the strength of the current make underwater searches nearly impossible. It was weeks before we found her, and when we did she was … unrecognizable.”

He rubbed a thin hand over his eyes. “I always wondered what would have happened if I hadn’t gone away at such a difficult time, if I’d put her first.”

“But she didn’t jump with me. Where was I?”

“With Katherine. Rose asked her to take you.”

“Why?”

“Because Katherine’s husband, Sebastian, had put a hit on Rose. He blamed her for Eva’s death. Katherine told me most of the cops were in Sebastian’s pocket. She said you would never be safe in London.”

Questions twisted through me, followed by anger. The anger that had been tucked up in little black corners inside me was now escaping. I felt like I had a dragon inside of me that was slowly waking, the fire of its breath burning my insides. So many lies. It seemed that was what my life had been built on.

I shook my head. “Suicide seems pretty extreme.”

David smiled sadly, his eyes pinched and tired. “I agree. Rose was always rather impulsive. She was fun and passionate and magnetic, but she rarely thought about the consequences of her actions. Perhaps she simply caved in to the guilt. She was tormented after Eva died. And given her medical history, it didn’t seem such a surprise.”

“What medical history?”

“She’d been medicated before. After you were born. I believe now they call it postnatal depression. There were no services for that sort of thing back then, you just got on with it. Keep calm and carry on, you know. I thought it would pass, and it mostly did. But she was terribly unhappy sometimes. She struggled with being home all day with a small child. It’s why I suggested hiring a nanny.”

David leaned against the bed. The pain of speaking about the past was visible on his face.

Charlotte sighed loudly, exasperated. She shifted her baby to her hip and went to David, tugging him toward the bed. “Dad, please get in bed! You’re about to fall over.”

David nodded. He slipped his feet under the sheet, his back propped against the upraised bed. He stared into empty space for a long minute, his breathing shallow and fast. The sharp angles of his ribs tented the sheet.

“Rose must’ve thought that faking your death would throw Sebastian off your track,” he finally said. “What I never understood is why she sent you with Kat instead of me. Some days, I hate her for that. I never got over losing you both.”

Charlotte looked like she’d been slapped, her cheeks hollowing as she inhaled sharply. She whirled and strapped the baby into her stroller.

“I’ll be back later, Dad,” she said, refusing to meet his eyes. A few seconds later, I heard the elevator ding as she got on.

I dropped my head into my hands, my breath coming in short, shallow bursts. The lightning marks on my arm had gone all prickly, the way a limb feels when it’s fallen asleep.

“This must be rather shocking to you,” David said.

He looked like he was going to get off the hospital bed to come to me, but that was the last thing I wanted. I put a hand out, to stop him, and to steady myself, and he stayed where he was.

“I’ll be okay,” I said roughly.

Blood whooshed around my brain. I felt like I was rising out of my body, up to the ceiling. The air was too thin. Sweat prickled under my armpits. I took my coat off, trying to get some cool air against my skin. David’s eyes widened as they landed on the lightning marks on my arm.

“What happened?” he asked.

“I actually got struck by lightning.”

“Lightning? Oh my God! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. The doctor said they’re called Lichtenberg figures.” I twisted my arm to look at the marks, which had faded to a dull pink. “They’ll go away.”

“It’s actually very beautiful.” He smiled at me.

I snorted. “Ha! I look broken.”

He shrugged. “In Japan, they believe in the ethos of wabi-sabi, which says there’s beauty in the broken.”

“Like kintsugi,” I said, thinking of the pottery I’d seen at his art gallery yesterday.

He looked pleased. “Exactly. The cracks are essential to our history, rather than something to disguise.”

David leaned his head against the bed, seeming to have suddenly lost all energy. “I wasn’t sure if Kat would tell you about my condition. Please extend my gratitude to her.”

“She didn’t,” I said. “Mom was murdered four days ago. I found your address in her office.”

“Murdered!” David’s hand fluttered to his chest. He turned an even more sickly shade of gray. “Sebastian.”

My stomach clenched as I thought about the man following me yesterday. “I think so. And now he’s looking for me.”





twenty-six

eva




DAVID DIDN’T WANT ME to leave the hospital. He was terrified for my safety, afraid Sebastian would find me. I was scared of that too, but I was more afraid of going to jail.