You Asked for Perfect(52)

“I’m not sure about that,” I say. “I don’t want to distract her and mess up her chance. Also, my Harvard interview is tomorrow.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah.”

Rabbi Solomon peeks her head out. “Malka, I’m ready for you.”

“Be right in!”

We both stand, and Malka hugs me. It’s one of those long, solid ones that reminds me how great hugs can be.

“Maybe I’ll see you after? On Sunday?” Malka asks.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Hey, if you can make time, you should join me for one of the Chabad events.”

“Sure, I will.”

“I hope this all gets easier for you,” Malka says.

“Thanks.” I twist my fingers together, then smile. “I think it will soon.”





Sixteen


Starbucks is only a few minutes away from my house. I used to come with Pari and Sook and a few other kids for a study group freshman year, when we did more talking than studying.

The bell rings as I open the door. The place is packed, parents with strollers and preteens holding blended drinks with whipped cream. I scan the room until I spot Hannah.

She looks younger than the picture on her website. She’s dressed casually in jeans and a white blouse. Crap. I’m in the suit I wore to synagogue. I had time to change, but I thought I was supposed to dress up for a Harvard interview.

God, I look ridiculous.

I clear my throat and walk toward her. Or wait, should I get a drink first? There’s already a white mug on the table in front of her. What if she thinks I’m late, though? Okay, say hello, and then get a drink.

She looks up when I’m a few feet away and smiles. “Ariel?” she asks, pronouncing my name correctly.

She doesn’t blink twice at my suit. I shake her hand. She has a solid but easy grip. “Hi, so nice to meet you, Ms. Shultz.” I rock back on my heels. “I’m going to grab a drink.” Right? It’d be awkward to sit down with no drink. “Can I get you anything?”

“Hannah, please. And I’ve got mine here.” She taps her mug. “Take your time.”

I get in the line, shifting awkwardly on my feet. There are four people in front of me. Why do so many people drink coffee on the weekends? I wonder if Hannah is watching me. I slip my phone out of my pocket and pull up the short version of the interview notes I emailed to myself, running over facts about Harvard and Hannah and how much I love playing violin in a band. Ha. If only she knew the band is in Athens right now, getting ready to play a show without me. If only she knew I was a selfish person who put my own goals before my friend’s goals. The guilt eats at my unsettled stomach.

The line inches forward. Hannah knows I arrived on time, but I still feel like I’m messing up. I should’ve been here earlier. Like a half hour early, gotten my drink first, and then I could’ve waited patiently while she was in line. Another minute passes. Way to make an awesome impression.

My pulse thuds in my ears. I take a breath as I finally reach the front of the line.

“What can I get for you?” the barista asks. “Have you tried our new pumpkin hazelnut mocha latte?”

“Uh, sure. One of those.”

“Coming right up!”

I pay, then step to the side and wait for my order. Shaking my head, I try to get back in the zone. Don’t throw away the opportunity I’m lucky to have. I get my pumpkin hazelnut mocha latte and walk back to Hannah. “Sorry about that.” I place the cup on the table, then inch it forward in case I knock it and it spills everywhere.

“No worries.” She smiles and grabs a leather notebook from her purse. It reminds me of Sook’s planner, and my chest squeezes. “So,” Hannah says. “You mentioned in your email that you volunteer at an animal shelter. That’s pretty neat. What drew you to that?”

Easy hours. Mom knows the manager.

I pick up my drink, but it’s too hot to sip. “I wanted to give back to the community,” I answer, my words sounding painfully rehearsed. “And I like animals. It feels good helping them.”

“I adopted my dog from a shelter,” Hannah says.

“That’s awesome!”

She laughs. “He’s totally tearing apart my house, but I love him. You have any pets at home?”

“I don’t. My mom is allergic.”

“Bummer.” Hannah nods. “Maybe you can adopt when you live on your own?”

I smile, thinking of having a dog like Ezekiel around to cuddle. “Maybe.”

Hannah looks at her notes again. “I also see you’re involved with your synagogue. I’m Jewish, too, if you didn’t guess by my name. Is a Jewish community something you’re looking for at college?”

“I haven’t thought about it much,” I say truthfully. “My friend likes the Chabad at her school. Is there a Harvard Chabad?”

“There is! I was a member and loved it.” Hannah tells me all about it, from Tuesday-night tacos and Torah to having a place to celebrate the High Holidays. It sounds nice, somewhere in a new environment where I could be totally comfortable.

We keep talking, some of my interview anxiety easing away as Hannah tells me about some of her favorite classes and professors, restaurants I have to check out, and the countless campus organizations and activities. There’s even an orchestra nonmajors can join. “And I was on the intramural softball team,” she says. “Do you play any sports?”