Worth Saving(74)

“You’re a f*cking idiot.”

I snap my head over in the lieutenant’s direction, surprised at what he just said to me.

“What the f*ck did you just say to me?”

“You’re a f*cking hypocrite, and you don’t deserve anything good anyway!” he screams. As I stare at him, I see blood starting to flow from a wound in his stomach I didn’t notice was there. The blood soaks through his uniform and starts to form a puddle beneath his feet.

“Hey, what the hell happened to you?” I ask, my heart starting to pound.

“Me? No, what the hell happened to you? You don’t deserve her, Austin.”

Suddenly, Lieutenant Weston opens the door next to him and jumps out of the helicopter into the clouds below.

“No! What the f*ck?” I scream as I watch his body drop. “God dammit! What the hell did you do that for?” I scream. Then, as I face the front window, I’m surprised and horrified to see a giant brick wall right in front of me. “Fuck!” I yell, but it won’t matter. I try to maneuver the chopper, but it’s too late. I hit it head on, and the chopper explodes into flames.



My body snaps to attention as I wake up. My breathing is hard and heavy, and I can feel sweat all over my body. I look around the room and find comfort in the fact that I’m not in a f*cking helicopter, but I still feel scared. It’s two o’clock in the morning, and I don’t have anything to do tomorrow except go to the VA in the morning, so I don’t even think about the possibility of going back to sleep right now.

I jump out of the bed, throw on some sweats, a long-sleeved shirt, and some flip flops, and rush out the door. When I get in the car, I drive aimlessly. I don’t even think about it, I just press my foot on the pedal and let the car drift to wherever it wants to go. The wind hits my face, and I turn my radio off so all I hear is the engine and the night air. I try to forget about the nightmare I just had, but something like that kind of sticks with you, so it’s easier said than done.

Eventually, I make a turn onto a residential street. As I look around, everything looks pretty familiar, which makes me feel a little better. It’s Lily Street, the same street I used to walk on with Layla. I think about the walks we used to take together down this very road, and I smile to myself. I miss the times we used to have, and I honestly wish she was here to walk with me now. We never had to talk about what the actual problem was that led us to walking in the first place, but it was always good to have her there listening and laughing with me. She helped me let go of the pain, and I think I helped her let go of hers too. No matter how much I get upset over it, or how much I try to fight it off, I know Jason’s right. We were really great together.

I park my car in the same place I did when I first saw her walking out here, and I get out. I stride across the street and casually walk down the sidewalk, taking the same route the two of us took so many weeks ago. I can see her apartment complex up the road, and I imagine her being here, smiling next to me. That gorgeous smile that’ll turn the worst nightmare into the sweetest dream. I miss that smile. I know she had walls I needed to get over, but I kind of miss the challenge of climbing and knowing I was making progress. I was almost at the top.

“Austin?”

I hear a voice call out. It’s the sweetest voice, and I recognize it immediately. I look up, and there stands Layla. I don’t know where she came from, and I don’t even care. It’s just great to see her again.





Austin

She’s wearing a long gray sweater and thick leggings. Her hair is curled and her face is that of the most perfect angel I could imagine. It’s been a while since I’ve seen her, and it’s almost like I forgot how beautiful she is. My heart seems to remember though, because it speeds up like the tail of a happy puppy.

Layla stands there staring me in the face, her head tilted, and she looks concerned, almost worried.

“Hi, Austin,” she says in a low whisper, like saying it makes her sad.

“Hey,” I reply. Over the past few days, I’ve been trying to go over in my head what I thought I’d say to her first, but now that she’s actually here, I don’t have a clue, and I’m sure I look as dumb as I feel, so I improvise. “What are you doing out here?”

“I’ve actually been coming out here late at night for the past couple of nights, hoping I might see you on one of these walks, since you won’t answer my calls. Tonight was my lucky night, I guess. How have you been? You look . . . stressed,” she says. When she says “stressed,” she grimaces like the word hurts.

“I’ve been better,” I answer honestly. “How about you?”

“I’m doing okay, I guess.”

“Just okay?”

“Well, I quit my job and I’ve been going through all these online classes lately. Technically, I finished high school earlier today. My diploma is in the mail. I’m about to start more online classes though, so I can try to become a teacher later on.”

“Wow,” I reply, raising my eyebrows. “That’s great. Sounds like you’re doing really well to me.”

“Well, I’ve been better. I have these memories of all these things we used to do. I used to be able to take walks and talk about everything with you, and we used to have picnics in the park and get attacked by geese, and we used to play basketball together. Those memories are probably the best ones I have. So, since we’re not doing any of that stuff anymore, I’m just doing okay.”