Worth Saving(39)

“Yeah, I met a guy, for real. His name’s Austin.”

“Oh my. And how long have you known Austin?”

“A couple of weeks now. We’ve been hanging out a bit. Doing a lot of talking. He’s really sweet.”

“Good. He better be or I’d have to stab him. The last thing you wanna do is piss off a lesbian. We don’t f*ck around,” she jokes with a smile, but then she turns serious. “So, for real, I take it this Austin guy is the reason why you’re needing time off.”

“Well, kind of. It’s just that I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do in this situation. Austin’s really sweet, and we have so much fun together. He’s always making me laugh and trying to get me to smile. It’s like he knows I’m broken and he’s always going out of his way to fix me. Not in the kind of way that’s annoying though. He’s trying to fix me by getting me to open up and have fun with him. He’s not trying to force me into anything. He’s patient with me, and he’s understanding, and he listens to me. He’s been great up to this point. But that’s just it; I don’t trust men. Who knows how long he’s gonna keep up this Mr. Perfect act. I guess I’m just waiting for the moment that the real Austin comes out, because all men have that other side. That f*cked up side where they’re capable of causing so much pain.”

“Everybody has that side, hon, not just Austin,” she responds. Marlene rolls up the sleeves on her sweater, revealing her heavily tattooed arms. “It sounds like he’s really nice. However, I know you have some issues that relate to all the shit that happened with your dad when you were growing up, not to mention the current * you have to deal with by the name of Damien Baxter.”

“Exactly. So, with all of that stuff from my past and Damien, what am I supposed to do with Austin? I’ve been building walls up around my heart my whole life, and now I meet a guy who’s great, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to knock those walls down. Hell, I’m not even sure it’s possible. I honestly never thought my walls could come down until Austin started chipping away at them with his damn jokes and beautiful smile.”

Marlene lets out a soft giggle. “Let me give you some advice, Layla. There’s two things I can guarantee you. One is that if you never let your guard down, you’ll never be hurt by a man. Not Austin or anybody else. You’ll never have to worry about falling in love and then having your heart broken. You keep your walls and your guard up, and I promise you’ll never feel that pain. But the second thing I can promise you is that if you keep those walls up, you’ll never know the joy of love either. You’re wondering about whether or not Austin is a genuinely good guy or not, but as long as you keep him at a distance, you’ll never really know. Whether it’s Austin or another guy that comes along at some point, if you keep that electric fence around your heart, you’ll never know love. I think that’s worse than having your heart broken, but that’s just me.”

I think about everything she just said, and it makes sense. That’s why Marlene is my closest friend. She’s always been there for me, kind of like the sister I never got to have. Her advice is always on point, and unlike some people, I only take advice from people who’ve actually experienced what I’m talking about. Marlene is in a successful relationship, and has been for a long time now, so I know she knows what to do.

“See, that’s why I love you,” I finally reply to her. “You’re right. If I keep him at a distance, we’ll never be anything. I’ll never really get to know him if I don’t let him in. But, there’s one more thing.”

“What’s that?”

“He doesn’t know what I do,” I say, scrunching my face like saying the words causes me physical pain. “I told him I was a bartender.”

“Oh. Well,” Marlene suddenly looks confused. “I don’t really know about that one. Umm . . . shit.”

“Yeah. Shit is right.”

Suddenly, my phone starts to ring and vibrate on the table. I hurry up and pick it up because I hate when other people let their phones ring loud as hell. The name on the display says Austin. I show it to Marlene who gives me a thumbs up.

“Hey,” I answer. “I don’t remember giving you my number. Stalker alert.”

“It’s 2015, BFF,” Austin begins. “When you texted me the night we went painting, I saved your number.”

“Oh. Duh.”

“Yep. That, and I actually am stalking you,” he jokes with a cute chuckle. “Anyway, what are you doing? Haven’t heard from you in a couple of days. You’re not avoiding me, are you?’

“I’m having lunch with my girlfriend, Marlene, and of course I’m not avoiding you. I’ve just been . . . busy.”

“Okay, well are you gonna be busy today? Like, in a couple of hours?”

“No, not that I know of. Marlene has to go to work, so I’ll be free.”

“You wanna hang out with me?” he asks. Something about the way he says it makes me smile.

“That sounds good,” I reply, looking at Marlene, who hasn’t stopped smiling since I answered the phone.

“Great. I’m gonna come get you in two hours. Is that okay?”

“Sure, two hours will work. And where are you taking me?”