Whisper (Whisper #1)(20)
I don’t have it in me to wipe my face clear, not when Abby is now plaiting our hair together. It’s becoming one big, tangled mess, but that doesn’t seem to stop her.
“Enzo! Watch your mouth,” says the woman, whom I presume is Esther.
Enzo winces. “Sorry, Es. My bad.”
“We’re not allowed to use the D-word,” Abby informs me, her fingers still weaving through my hair. “Or the H-word.”
“Ethan used the H-word in front of Dad last week, and he was told to sit in the corner for ten whole minutes,” Isaac says, timidly taking one step closer, then another, until he’s right beside me. He curls his little hand around the hem of my dress and tugs gently, so I lower myself into a closed-knees squat, balancing carefully with Abby still in my arms. He leans in farther, like he has some great secret only I can hear, and whispers in my ear, “You’re really pretty.”
With three words, this small child does the impossible.
He causes me to laugh.
I don’t know who’s more shocked — me or everyone else. It’s one thing to smile. But to laugh? Unheard of. For so — so — many reasons.
Enzo is gaping at me. Ward’s head is tilted, and his dimple is out. Cami looks like she’s about to burst into joyous tears. Esther still appears wary, but her eyes have warmed toward me. The only people in the room who don’t seem to understand the significance of what just happened are the three small humans now asking their mother how long until dinner is ready.
Esther clears her throat and orders her children to go and wash up. I let go of Abby and watch as she runs off after her brothers.
“I’m Esther — Landon and Cami’s aunt,” the woman finally greets me. She holds out a hand, and I hesitate only a beat before reaching to meet it with my own. “You’re looking much better tonight. A day of rest seems to be exactly what you needed.” She turns to Ward. “No problems?”
He glances at me, and I wonder if he’s going to mention my panic attack. But when Ward turns back to his aunt, he just shakes his head. “All good. But do you have something to help her wrists?”
I’d forgotten all about the marks left from Vanik’s manacles. I don’t resist when Esther reaches for my hands and gently turns them over.
“I didn’t notice these yesterday. The bruising must have come out overnight.” She frowns before giving me a searching look.
Enzo explains with only one word. “Vanik.”
Esther’s smoky eyes darken. “I should have something among my medical supplies. We’ll be right back.”
I give Cami a pleading look as Esther pulls me away, but Ward’s sister just sends me an encouraging smile and waves me from the room.
“There’s no need to worry — this won’t take long,” Esther says, opening the door to a bathroom much larger than Ward’s. She sits me down on the edge of a tub filled with colorful toys and tells me to wait a moment while she rifles through the medicine cabinet.
She returns to my side with a tube of ointment and kneels in front of me, then carefully applies the balm to first my left and then my right wrist.
“I remember seeing you that night with the guards,” she says as she massages the gel into my skin. “I knew who you were the moment I laid eyes on you.”
Since she is the head medic, someone must have warned her about my threat level, prompting her fear of me. I feel my body bracing for a blow.
“But you should know I wouldn’t be allowing you into my home and around my children if I thought you might harm any of us.”
I jerk in surprise. It’s only a slight movement, but she catches it all the same and sends me a reassuring smile.
“I was afraid of you then, for many reasons,” she says. “And when Landon called me last night to come and help you … To be honest, I almost didn’t respond.”
Esther continues to rub soothing circles on my wrists, and as I watch, the bruising begins to fade. My eyes widen, having never seen such swift healing. I didn’t realize such an effective ointment existed.
“I became a medic years ago after I was greatly in need but there was no one around who knew enough to help me,” she says. “I almost died, taking my newborn baby — Ethan — with me. When we managed to survive, I made a promise to myself that I would never allow another to suffer if it was within my power to do something.” Her eyes meet mine. “So I’m glad Landon called me to see to you last night. Not just because I can tell today that it made a difference, but also because watching you tonight, especially with my children …” She trails off, smiling again.
Her words spread through my body like liquid sunshine. But then, in the space of a heartbeat, the warmth is replaced by a cold so deep I have to fight a shiver. I don’t deserve her acceptance, her children’s affection, not even the kindness Cami, Ward and Enzo continue to bestow upon me. Esther was wrong in what she said before — I could cause them harm. All of them. I slipped up with Isaac earlier; it was just fortunate that all I did was laugh. But if my defenses keep shattering at the rate they are, it’s only a matter of time before something disastrous happens. And I can’t afford to make another mistake like —
“I have to admit, I’m not sure what to call you.” Esther’s pensive voice breaks into my troublesome thoughts. “It’s clear to everyone that ‘Jane Doe’ is not who you are. But I also have a feeling you’re only ‘Chip’ to one person.” Her eyes light up like silver moons among the stars. “So that one’s out. Which brings us back to ‘Jane’ — unless we pick something else. You’ll end up with a multiple personality disorder if we’re not careful.”