What Happens Now(42)

Satina changed clothes halfway through the “Ferris Wheel” episode, stealing a plaid shirt from a hook in the stables so she’d be less conspicuous among the 1950s fairgoers. Eliza wanted to do one set of shots where I was wearing that, so she’d found some fabric that was almost the exact same pattern and sewn a shirt from scratch.

I tried it on. She’d gotten this one exactly right, too. We carefully put the clothes back on their hangers and into garment bags, ready and waiting for fair night.

“You’re done,” she said. “Now, onto Bram.” She busied herself with another garment bag and I took that as my cue to leave, muttering a Byeseeyoulater as I went.

When I stepped outside, the rain had let up but was still falling in an even rhythm. The air felt newly created, light and unencumbered, as if the storm had washed all seriousness right out of it.

Max had just arrived and was walking toward me with an open umbrella.

“Successful fitting?” he asked.

“She’s happy,” I replied.

“Well, thank God for that. It’s the only reason I’m doing the cosplay. Here, let me be chivalrous.” He held the umbrella over me and escorted me to my car. When we got there, Max paused, staring at me.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I’m not going to give you the standard ‘Don’t break Camden’s heart’ speech.”

“You would never need to.”

“But I want to ask, how does it feel? Is he what you imagined?”

I felt heat rush through me. “What do you mean?”

“I remember you. From last summer. I remember how you looked at him.”

“Oh,” I said, trying to hide the full-body cringe. “Was it that obvious?”

“Only to me. I think I noticed it because I’ve been there. Not with Eliza. Another girl from school, two years ago.”

“You never said anything to him about me?”

Max paused, shrugged. “I knew Eliza wanted him. I didn’t want to make extra drama.”

“Don’t say anything now.”

“I would never. But would you?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Does it matter? I’ve changed a lot since then. I want him to only know about the me right now.”

Max smiled as he opened my driver’s side door for me, then put one hand gently on my shoulder.

“People think they change, but they don’t so much. They just unlock doors inside them that were always there.”

I laughed, then realized he wasn’t joking. “That’s deep.”

“Yeah, well. That’s me.” He scanned me up and down. “But it’s a theory I came up with when I was living in California. It helped me understand some stuff. The you right now? That’s the only you who’s ever been.”

I fought the sting in my eyes, even though Max seemed like the kind of guy you could cry in front of. He might even be disappointed if you didn’t.

He closed the door for me after I got in and held up his hand in a wave.

I’d spent the last few weeks so focused on Camden and then on Eliza, but right there I realized Max had his own quiet awesomeness.

I really was falling for them all.





12




On our planned fair night, I watched through the front window as Kendall’s car pulled into the driveway. My heart wobbling, nervous as all hell.

“She’s here,” I said to Richard, and picked up my backpack. The parent-approved plan was that I’d go to the fair with Kendall and some of her friends, then sleep over at her house. That was all a version of the truth.

Danielle rushed down the hall and threw her arms around me as I opened the door. “You’ll bring me back something from the fair, right?”

“You’re going tomorrow with the day camp,” I reminded her. “But nice try.”

“You’ll call when you’re at Kendall’s?” Richard asked as he stepped up behind Dani.

“Yes, yes. Don’t I always do what I say I’m going to do? Sheesh. See you guys tomorrow.”

I blew Dani a kiss and slipped out, closed the door tight. Rushed toward Kendall’s passenger side.

“Clean getaway?” she asked.

“Squeaky.”

I was surprised to see Max and James in the backseat as Kendall pulled away from my house. Away, away. Toward everything else.

“Hey,” I said to the guys.

“Eliza and Camden had some last-minute costume snafus,” explained Max, “so they’re taking my car and meeting us there. But your stuff and my stuff is in the trunk.”

“When you say it like that, it sounds so shady.”

“Fun, right?”

James cradled his camera bag on his lap like it was a cat. He was even petting it a little.

“Did your camera meet Kendall’s camera?” I asked him.

He laughed. “Yup. They’re warming up to each other.”

Kendall met Jamie’s eyes in the rearview mirror. God, I was so grateful she was here.

After we parked at the fairgrounds and Kendall popped the trunk, Max went to the back of the car and took out the garment bags, then handed me mine. A steady stream of people were filing past the car, and this didn’t feel as safe and reassuring as Camden’s bathroom. I froze, trying to figure out how I was going to do it. If I was going to do it.