Warrior (Relentless #4)(198)

Chapter 38





“Nikolas?”

I pulled my gaze from the rain running down the coffee shop window and looked at Chris. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

“I said I’m going to take a few guys and check out that lead in San Francisco tomorrow. Unless you already put someone else on it.”

“No, it’s all yours.”

We’d gotten a tip yesterday that Adele might be using a third party in San Francisco to communicate with Madeline. I’d planned to send Raoul, but if Chris wanted to go, I had no problem with that.

He sipped his coffee. “This should be an easy recon job. I was thinking it might be a good one for Jordan.”

“Jordan? She’s still a trainee.”

Chris laughed. “Don’t let her hear you say that. She’ll probably kick your ass just to prove you wrong.”

I smiled. “You’re probably right.”

Jordan had already seen more action than most first-year warriors. She was also one of the best young swordsmen I’d seen, better than I’d been at her age. And just as driven to prove herself. She’d been asking me for weeks to let her go on a job.

“Is that a yes?”

I picked up my coffee. “Yes. She’s ready.”

I stared at the rain again. Jordan was going to be ecstatic, but I wasn’t sure how Sara would take the news. She’d be happy for her friend, but she’d also question why she was the only one not allowed to go on a job. And none of the answers I gave her were going to go over well.

Since our talk the morning after the Vancouver attack, I was more understanding of her need for independence and her struggle to keep her own identity. I couldn’t turn off my protectiveness for her, but I could give her room to grow.

I accepted the fact that she would someday be a warrior, as much as that scared the hell out of me, and I was doing everything I could to prepare her for that day. For the last three weeks, I had trained her hard, and I’d watched her work tirelessly with Desmund until he’d left yesterday to go back to Westhorne. She worked with Eldeorin every day now as well, although I still had no idea what went on in their training.

I wished I could say our relationship was progressing as well as her training, but we seemed to be at a standstill. After the morning I’d almost taken things too far, I’d avoided nighttime visits to her room. I wanted her too much, and my willpower was weak when it came to her. Every touch and kiss from her made it harder to keep my resolve to wait.

“You’re not listening to a word I’m saying, are you?”

I rubbed my jaw and apologized again. “I’m sorry, Chris. I have a lot on my mind these days.”

“I know. May I offer some advice?”

I nodded.

“I don’t know what it’s like to be bonded, but I can tell when two people are crazy about each other. I can also tell when my best friend is miserable. Go to her and tell her how you feel.”

I scowled at my coffee mug. “You think I haven’t thought about doing that. She’s not ready. She’s –”

“She’s eighteen.”

“I know how old she is.”

“No. I mean that despite everything she’s been through, Sara’s an eighteen-year-old who’s probably never been in love before. I guarantee she’s a hell of a lot more confused about all of this than you are. And scared.”

“Scared?” I knew she was shy about intimacy, but scared?

He gave me a grave smile. “Her mother abandoned her when she was a child. I don’t care what Sara says about Madeline, something like that leaves a mark on a person. And then her father was taken from her. I’d be afraid to love someone if that happened to me.”

“That’s even more reason not to push her and to let her come to me when she’s sure.”

He sighed. “Did you ever think she might be afraid to say it first, that she’s waiting for you?”

I had no answer because the thought hadn’t ever occurred to me. I’d been so focused on giving her time and letting her set the pace of our relationship that I hadn’t considered she might be waiting for me. Was it possible? Had I been reading her wrong this whole time?

My mind immediately went back over the last month, trying to remember every conversation, every look from her. There had been a few times when it felt like she wanted to tell me something, but I’d thought I’d imagined it. Could she have been trying to open up to me?

Chris shook his head. “Listen, if there’s one thing I know about you two, it’s that you care deeply for each other. And that you’re both stubborn as hell. Okay, maybe I know two things.”

“Is there a point in there somewhere?”

“What I’m trying to say is you both want each other, and neither of you is going to say it first. You need to stop holding back and tell that girl how you feel – for everyone’s sake. I can’t stand to see you two like this.”





*


Work kept me at the command center that night, as it had for most of the week. In the last month, vampires had been attacking Mohiri warriors across the country at an alarming rate. Strongholds had beefed up security, fearful of an attack like the one on Westhorne in early December. Family compounds were the most vulnerable, and some were sending their younger children to strongholds oversees.