Warrior (Relentless #4)(202)

Sara is the vigilante.

Maybe if I said the words enough I’d accept them. Maybe then I could accept that the woman I loved, the person I’d lived with in the same house for months, had kept something so important from me. It made me question everything about us, about her. She knew how much I worried about her safety. Why would she do this?

Because she knew you’d never think she was ready, a tiny voice whispered in my head.

I tried to ignore it, but it got louder and more insistent. How many times since I met her had I told her she needed to be protected? How many times had I said she wasn’t strong enough to protect herself? And how many times had she told me she didn’t want to be coddled and she couldn’t live like that?

Eldeorin had told me weeks ago that I judged Sara’s fighting skills by Mohiri standards and that I had no idea how strong she really was. I’d watched some of her training with Aine from a distance, so I knew her power was not something to take lightly. I’d just never thought she’d advanced this far.

I’d seen some of the vigilante’s kills and heard the stories about her fighting skills. I’d talked to warriors who might have died in recent vampire attacks if the vigilante hadn’t shown up out of nowhere to fight beside them.

I stopped walking and turned back toward the building. Releasing a ragged breath, I wondered what really upset me more: Sara keeping this from me, or that she’d been out there fighting vampires, and demons, and God only knew what else. If Jordan had turned out to be the vigilante and the one keeping secrets from us, would I have reacted this way?

I didn’t need to think about it for long to come up with the answer.

The truth was I knew Sara was strong, and I’d known the night of the attack on Westhorne she’d one day be a force to be reckoned with. But I’d also been happy to keep her tucked away at Eldeorin’s the last few months, where I could do my job and not have to fear for her safety. I’d told her it wasn’t safe out here, and yet I’d been okay with sending a trainee out into the field.

Because Jordan’s not my mate.

And there was the crux of this whole situation. Sara was my mate, and it was impossible for me to separate logic from emotion when it came to her. No matter how good a fighter she was or how well she could defend herself, my heart and my Mori couldn’t see past the need to protect her. If anything happened to her, life would cease to have meaning for me.

I grimaced as I arrived back at the door of the building. Now that I’d admitted the truth to myself, where did that leave Sara and me? I would not lose her over this, but I didn’t know how we were going to move past it.

I opened the door and entered the building more quietly this time. I tried not to look at the dead demons, but my eyes went to them anyway. I pictured Sara being mauled by a gulak or drex demon. And then I thought about what Draegan had planned to do to her before I’d killed him. Fear twisted my gut, and my Mori grew agitated again.

Everyone was pretty much where I’d left them. Sara watched me approach and drew her shoulders up as if steeling herself for the worst.

“Just tell me you’re done with this,” I said when I stood in front of her.

She frowned. “Done?”

“No more rogue…vigilante…or whatever.” I understood her need to fight and to help others, but I didn’t know how to deal with the thought of her going off alone.

She took a breath. “What if this is what I’m supposed to do, just like you’re supposed to be a warrior?”

“It’s too dangerous,” I replied without thinking.

“It’ll always be dangerous, Nikolas,” she shot back. “I was there in Vancouver, remember? You and Chris put your lives in danger all the time. Soon Jordan will be a warrior and she will too. Are you going to hold her back and tell her it’s too dangerous for her?”

“Khristu!” I dragged my hand through my hair. I was saying all the wrong things again, and my Mori wasn’t helping. All it wanted was to protect our mate no matter how good a warrior she was. “I don’t want to hold you back, but every instinct I have is telling me I need to keep you safe.”

I waited for her to be angry, to yell at me. I deserved it after the way I’d spoken to her. What I didn’t expect was the look of total defeat that crossed her face.

“I understand,” she said tonelessly as she turned away.

I’d never seen her like this, and it sent a cold shiver across the back of my neck. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going home,” she replied without looking back. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Can’t do what?” I asked, alarmed by the sudden change in her.

“Love you.”

The words were whispered so softly that for a second I thought I’d imagined them.

My heart thudded as I caught her hand and gently pulled her back around to face me. She wouldn’t look at me, so I lifted her chin until I could see her tear-filled eyes.

“You love me?” I asked in a raw voice.

Her tears spilled over.

“Yes.”





Chapter 39





Overcome with emotion, my mouth covered hers. She reached for me at the same time, pulling my head down to her. I tasted her tears on our lips as I poured all my love and months of longing into the kiss. When I felt the faint joy of her Mori through our bond, it was like finding a lost piece of me.