Twelve Steps to Normal(93)

Peach steps into the room. “Oh, June, it’s such a pleasure to meet you.” She wraps her in a hug like they’ve been friends forever, and to my surprise June returns it. She says something to Peach that I can’t hear, but when I see Peach nod mournfully I can guess what it’s about.

“Come on in. You must be exhausted,” my dad says, placing her suitcase near the stairs.

June wraps my dad in another hug. “You look so good. How are you doing?”

“We’re holding up as best we can, I think,” my dad answers earnestly. “It was unexpected.”

While they sit in the living room, I walk into the kitchen where Peach is reheating some leftover soup for June. She gives me a tired smile when she sees me.

The guilt I’ve held on to for the last few months blankets me. Before I can think, I blurt, “I—I’m sorry… I’ve been meaning to say it for a while now, but I haven’t.”

Peach gives me a light squeeze on my shoulder. “Oh, Kira, I know.”

I’m surprised by this. I acted so horribly, yelling at her over a progress report. “You know?”

“Well, your pizza was a nice gesture, but Nonnie told me,” she explains. “She was really in tune with everyone’s feelings around here. And quite honestly, I did overstep some boundaries. I didn’t mean to pry into your personal life.”

I shake my head. “You were trying to help. All of you were. And you did.” I glance toward the living room. “My dad hasn’t been like this—like himself—in a while.”

“We all got some much-needed help at Sober Living,” Peach says. “But I do want you to know that I’m trying to work things out with my own family, and I know Saylor is trying really hard to move forward with his career. I’m not sure how long we’ll be here, but I want to respect you and your space.”

I know I can’t take back my next words, but I also know I don’t want to. “You can stay here as long as you need.”

When she smiles, there are tears in her eyes.

“Thank you. It’s a lot, especially with the holidays—” The microwave beeps. She blinks away her tears and stirs the soup. “Anyway, I appreciate it. Saylor and I both do.”

I step forward and give her a small hug. Surprised, she stands there for a moment before hugging me back. It feels nice, and I realize Nonnie was right. You have to forgive your own mistakes. I hope, somewhere, she knows that I have.

My dad walks into the kitchen as Peach is taking the bowl of soup to June.

“I’m proud of you, Goose,” he says. “I haven’t made this easy on you, but thank you for understanding.”

I nod, glancing back toward the living room. Dread sinks into my stomach when I realize there will come a time when June will go back to Portland and Saylor and Peach will move forward in their own lives. Things will go back to the way I wanted, and it’ll be just the two of us here. Only I’m not sure if I want that anymore. I’m scared of what will happen when they do leave.

“We’re going to be okay, right?” I look up at him. “Whenever it’s just you and me again… we’ll be okay?”

I know he hasn’t been reliable in the past. Life has hurt us both in so many ways, but in these last few months, it’s healed us, too. It’s helped us move on. We’ve both changed and adapted and survived.

My dad wraps one arm around me, then kisses the top of my head. “We’re going to be just fine.”

This time, I believe him.





Later, when everyone is finally asleep, I lie in bed, staring at a text message I’d carefully composed a few minutes earlier. I finger the Starburst bracelet around my wrist. Then I hit send.

ME: i got your note. i know it’s late, but can you meet at 7-Eleven?

Thankfully his reply comes quickly.

ALEX: give me 10 minutes

I’d been thinking of everything I wanted to say to him all evening. I’d been hurt that he didn’t forgive me right away, but then again, I don’t feel like I deserved immediate forgiveness. I’d been cruel, and he had a right to stay mad. He didn’t even have to reach out when he discovered Nonnie had passed, but he did. He did because he’s a good person. He’s someone I want in my life.

Someone I might love.

I pull on my navy hoodie and tiptoe downstairs. Wallis is in the guestroom with Peach, thankfully. June is on the couch, but her deafening snoring means she’s out like a light. I feel bad for sneaking out without my dad knowing, but I’ll be back. There’s no reason for him to worry.

The quick walk to 7-Eleven feels like it takes ages. The crisp night air stings my cheeks, but my thumping heart keeps my body heat regulated with nerves. I assume I’ll be the first one to arrive, which will give me time to mentally prepare, but when I round the corner of the building I’m surprised to see that Alex is already there.

His eyes meet mine. All kinds of emotions explode inside me. It’s been so long since he’s even looked at me, and the weight of his gaze makes me flush. He looks good. So good. His curly hair peeks out from underneath his beanie, and he’s wearing a faded denim jacket over a black T-shirt.

When he hands me a waxy, plastic cup, my breath catches in my throat. It’s a cherry red Slurpee. My icy fingers reach out and take it.