Twelve Steps to Normal(70)

I give a pathetic half wave before ducking into the candy aisle.

Crap. How could I be so careless? Of course Saylor is working tonight. He works almost every night shift.

This is bad. This could blow my entire cover.

I don’t know what to do. If I duck out now, Lin will be forced to interact with Saylor when she pays for her food. He could bring up the fact that he knows me—that he’s been living in our house for the last two months. And I can’t let anyone discover that piece of information. I already had a close call with Margaret and Saylor, but if the fact that they’re staying with us gets back to Margaret, I can lose my dad, my friends, and my life all over again.

Lin finds me frozen in the candy aisle. “Aren’t you getting anything?”

Her arms are loaded with snacks. I grab the first thing I see—chocolate-covered pretzels. “Um. Yeah, this.”

Lin raises an eyebrow, but she doesn’t say anything as she walks toward the register. I follow her, looking anywhere but at Saylor.

She sets her loot on the counter.

Saylor begins ringing her up. “This looks a lot better than a dance.”

Lin glances up, then continues to pull out bills from her wallet. “Yeah. We think so.”

Okay, this is fine. We clearly look like high schoolers who are not at the homecoming dance. It’s a completely normal comment.

Saylor looks at me. “I wasn’t much of a dance guy, either. Drove my mom nuts. She practically had to force me to go to the prom.”

I let out an unintelligible, choked noise just as Lin drops a handful of change on the ground. “Aw, crap.”

I’m sweating. Profusely. I have to get out of here, so I start pulling out bills from my back pocket. “Here.”

“I got it,” she says from the ground.

Saylor scans her chips. “Oh man! Sweet Jalape?o flavor? I should bring some of these home.” He looks at me. “You think your dad would eat them?”

All the blood in my body freezes. Time stops.

Lin stands back up, pushing the handful of her fallen change toward him. “Why would her—?”

“My dad! Yes! He would!” My words are too clipped. Too loud. “You should tell him the next time he comes in!”

Saylor throws me a peculiar look.

“You know what?” I set my chocolate-covered pretzels aside. “I’m not in a chocolate mood. Uh—” I pat my stomach. “Too much pizza earlier.”

Now it’s Lin’s turn to throw me a confused stare. “Are you sure?”

“Yes!” I’m itching to get out of here. One more close call and my carefully concealed lie could unravel. “Totally.”

Saylor hands Lin her receipt. He won’t look at me. Maybe he’s hurt that I’m pretending not to know him, but whether I want to let him in my personal life is my business. I already had a close call with Margaret. I’m not about to let that happen again.

I quickly head out the door.

Lin jogs to keep up with me. “Do you know that guy?”

“Um,” I say. “Kind of. My dad goes in there a lot.”

It’s part of the truth, anyway.

“Oh.” She looks back. “He seems kinda weird. Did you see all those leather bracelets on his wrists?”

“They’re intention bracelets,” I say without thinking.

Lin raises an eyebrow. “How do you know that?”

I freeze. God, Kira. Just shut up.

“Uh. Because he’s usually working when I stop by after school sometimes. And I asked.”

“Oh,” she says again.

We fall quiet. I hate lying to her, but I can’t risk telling anyone about them. Especially now that I’m on the verge of getting my best friends back and reconnecting with my dad.

And maybe, maybe Alex has something to do with me wanting to stay.

We’re rounding the sidewalk back into her neighborhood when I say, “Can I tell you something?”

Lin grins. “About how you totally skipped school with Alex Ramos yesterday?”

My mouth drops open. “How did you—?”

“David told me. He was in the parking lot and saw you guys drive off together.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

She shrugs. “I wanted you to bring it up, I guess. You tell Whitney and Raegan everything because you’re with them all the time, and I’m always the last to know stuff.”

My gut twists with guilt. That happened a lot freshman year, but now it’s different. She has to know it’s different now.

“It’s not really like that,” I say. “I don’t know… I don’t feel as close to them anymore, especially Whitney. I feel like it’s my fault.”

Lin sips her Slurpee and casually says, “It’s not.”

I’m surprised to hear this. “What do you mean?”

She passes me her cup, and I take a swig of the cola flavor she chose. “I see you at lunch. You try really, really hard to make the whole situation not awkward. Whitney still doesn’t tell you how she really feels about everything. She probably doesn’t tell you anything about her relationship with Jay because she feels guilty.” She pulls a piece of stray hair behind her ear. “And all of Raegan’s energy is in her presidential duties. She doesn’t have time for friendship. Don’t take it personally.”