Twelve Steps to Normal(69)

“Want to go over our chemistry homework on Sunday?” Raegan asks, unlocking her car.

“Sure,” I tell her. “Text me?”

“Will do.” She gives me a quick hug. “See ya!”

I find my car, my heart a little heavy that I didn’t spot Alex in the chaos after the game. I’m texting my dad to let him know I’m on my way home when I hear a loud tap on my window, like a pebble hitting the windshield. Then another. And another.

I glance around until I see Alex’s truck a few feet away. His window is rolled down, and he’s tossing Starbursts in my direction.

Grinning, I roll down my window. “You’re wasting perfectly good candy!”

He pops one in his mouth, then throws his head back in mock ecstasy. God, he’s such a dork. I notice his curls are blowing loose and wild in the wind—and then I realize why.

“I still have your beanie!”

He smiles. “Keep it!”

I watch him pull away, and it’s not until I’m in my driveway that I realize my smile stayed with me the entire drive home.





TWENTY SIX


EVEN THOUGH THINGS ARE STILL shaky between my dad and me, he agrees to let me spend the night at Lin’s on Saturday. We debated going to the homecoming dance, but in the end decided to skip it in favor of a long overdue sleepover. We did, however, help Raegan set up the decorations in the gym while blasting Beyoncé, which was more fun than I expected. She even ordered pizza and wasn’t too controlling about how the streamers were hung.

We’re decompressing in Lin’s room, and I’m painting my toes a bright shade of yellow I bought only because it was called Pineapple Paradise.

“David was brilliant, of course.” Lin swipes a splash of coral polish on her pinky. She was at another mock decathlon competition this morning to prepare for the real one in January—the first one of the year. “But I kept second-guessing myself. I felt so dumb. Also, Breck sort of killed it? Especially with the science questions.”

I hold my foot carefully over my paper towel. Her room looks more like a hotel than a teenage haven. She has thick, navy curtains that match her bedspread, which is tucked and smoothed over so tightly someone could probably suffocate under there. There is nothing on her desk aside from a lamp with a depressing gray lampshade. Her mom makes her keep all her textbooks in her closet to keep her room from looking disorderly. She’d probably have an aneurysm if she came in here and saw us with the nail polish.

“First of all, you’re not dumb,” I tell her, because it’s the truth. She’s in the top twenty percent of our class. “Try and let go of your nervousness, you know? You’ll be more confident next time.”

“True. I’m always nervous when we first start practicing.” She caps the coral polish. “God, I’m starving. I want pizza rolls. And a Slurpee.”

Lin’s parents don’t believe in junk food. Their pantry is always stocked with healthy snacks like mixed nuts and dried seaweed. It’s one of the reasons she hates having sleepovers at her place. That, and we’re not allowed to leave the house after ten.

It’s ten thirty now.

“Let’s go to 7-Eleven,” I say. “Stock up.”

She checks her phone. “Yeah, right. They won’t let us leave.”

I stare at her. “But if they don’t know we’re gone—?”

“Sneak out?” She looks uneasy. “Really? For food?”

“They’ll never know. We’ll make it a ninja mission.”

She laughs. “Some girls sneak out to go to parties, and we’re sneaking out to get snacks.”

We wait until our nails dry. I use her laptop and open iTunes, then I click the first artist and let it play on low. Too much quiet will make them suspicious, so I set it close to the door. They hardly ever come in to check on us, which is why I think Lin is okay with this plan.

I pull on my black sweatshirt and zip it up to my chin, then I yank the hood over my head. “Ready?”

“Out the window?” She says it like we’ll be scaling a fourteen-story building.

“You’re on the first floor!”

“There’s still a drop.”

“Oh my god. It’s like, two feet.”

I climb out first. She follows. Five minutes later, we’re giggling like five-year-olds as we sprint down the sidewalk and around the corner out of her neighborhood.

“I’ve never done that before!”

Laughter bursts from my lungs. “We should really get you out more.”

It’s a perfect autumn evening. There’s a crisp chill in the air and even though it’s dark, the streetlights illuminate the fact that the oak trees around us are changing colors. It’s funny—autumn used to be my least favorite season. Now I’m finding I don’t mind it.

The door to 7-Eleven chimes when we walk in. I breathe in the sticky scent of artificial syrup and leftover glazed donuts. Lin walks toward the back to grab a Slurpee. I’m about to make my way toward the candy aisle when I hear someone call my name.

I freeze.

Oh no.

No no no no no.

I turn and face the register, but I already know who’s standing behind it. Saylor. He’s wearing his starchy uniform shirt and plastic name badge. And waving. Enthusiastically. In my direction.