Thin Love (Thin Love, #1)(87)
Keira pulled away from her comfortable spot on his chest, her eyes glassy and an expression on her face that made him feel small, made him feel like she thought he was naive. “Where would I go?” She wiped her face dry. “Your house? Bet your mom would love that. The team house? My dorm? Everything is temporary, Kona.” He closed his eyes when Keira brushed her fingers against his cheek, thumb rubbing over the scar she’d put there. He hated her frown when she looked at it. He hated that she felt so guilty, still, even after his goading. “This scared me. I did this to you. I lost it. How many times have I slapped you? Just last night…” She tried taking her hands from him, tried pulling away and he meant to stop her, to cover her wrists so she’d keep her touch on him, but then Keira smiled, kept her fingers against his face as though she needed the contact. “Am I any better than her?” Her voice broke and the wobble of her chin, that pained, crumble of her smile gutted him, had his own eyes burning.
“Baby…” He pulled her close, held her as she cried and he felt the slow trickle of her tears on his bare chest. He cleared his throat, tried to remove the knot that made him sound lost. “You’ve slapped me when I pissed you off. You lashed out because you know what it does to me. We do it to each other. It’s this… this weird thing between us and you’ve never hurt me.” Kona adjusted her on his lap, pulling on her waist to bring her closer. “That night at Lucy’s, I was coming off my shot. I was still full of that shit and high on adrenaline. I was out of my head jealous when I saw you with Luka because with you, shit, baby, most of the time I can’t think straight.” She started to speak and Kona knew there would be an excuse, something Keira would say to make herself seem unhinged. “No. It’s true. We both have issues. We’re just the same. I never got over my mom keeping our father out of our lives because he hurt her. You’ve had to deal with a bitch who gets mad and can’t keep her hands off you. But when I’m with you, when we’re together, none of that shit matters. I forget everything.”
“So do I.”
“Good. See? We’re the same. Tempers and stupidity and sometimes we do shit we don’t mean to.” Kona bent his head, kissed the exposed skin below Keira’s collarbone. “Last night, I threw you onto your bed because I was mad.”
“And I liked it.”
His smile was quick, moved across his mouth because he was happy he hadn’t hurt her, because he knew how much she’d liked it. But that smile disappeared when he lowered his eyes, when he brought his fingers to the bruise. “This isn’t the same thing. Not even close. That bitch is an ugly drunk, you’ve made a few comments that had me guessing that.” Kona tilted her chin to get a better look. “And I doubt this was the first time. Right?”
Keira looked over Kona’s shoulder and he knew she was remembering something. “She didn’t drink as much until my dad sold his practice.” Her stare unfocused, eyes unblinking. “When they married, he was a lawyer. He did what everyone expected and then, one day, he stopped caring about what they expected. He started doing what he wanted, following the passion that consumed him. My mother didn’t like him quitting. She didn’t like the cash cow going away and they fought so much.” Lids moving, Keira glanced back at him. “They threw chairs and plates and TV remotes… whatever they could find that would inflict the worst damage. She started drinking, he did everything else. It got so bad she didn’t even cry at his funeral. Or the next week. Or the month after that and when I tried to stand up to her, or said something that sounded too much like him, I got popped.” She took Kona’s hand from her face, and patted it once when he made a fist. “I learned to keep my nose down, stay out of her way and usually that worked. Usually if I do whatever she says, let her get her way, then she’s fine. But you came over yesterday and she started asking questions, starting flapping her White Power flag and I mouthed off to her. And then… this.”
Keira waved her hand, pointing to the bruise like it was nothing; something mundane and usual. He hated her attitude about being knocked around. He hated that she thought this was normal behavior. “It’s not safe for you to be around her. What if she really loses it?”
“Kona, I can fight back. I just never have before.” He leaned up, moving his head to watch her and Keira must have seen the question in his eyes. “It’s not like I haven’t thought about it. I have. But I know that if I do what she asks, if I play the pacifying daughter, she’ll leave me alone. I’ve got three years, Kona and most of that time will be spent on campus or at Leann’s. Things have just been bad the past year or so because I rebelled, because I moved to campus,” Keira’s cheek dimpled with her quick smile, “and being around you has made me a little ballsier. She doesn’t like that. She doesn’t like that she can’t control me when I’m at school. This has been coming for a while.”
“I still can’t let you stay here.” The thought of this happening again made Kona feel sick and he grabbed her arm, holding onto her as though he needed the focus she gave him. “What kind of man would I be if I let you stay here unprotected?”
“The kind that knows I can take care of myself.”
“Keira…”
She shook her head, stopping him. “I hate her. I hate everything she stands for, everything she believes in. But I have three years. I have to bide my time for three years. When I’m twenty-one, my inheritance kicks in.” Keira shrugged, picked up Kona’s hands and locked their fingers together. “It’s not much, but it’s what my dad wanted me to have, what’s left of what he didn’t put up his nose, but it’s enough to get a place, to get me through my last year of college without her help.”