The Truth About Keeping Secrets(59)

I tried to keep the camera pointed at my face as best I could with my shaking hands. ‘June’s not coming.’

‘Shit. Why? What happened?’

‘I really, really don’t know. She just said she couldn’t, and that nothing’s wrong.’ And I wasn’t even thinking about it, but I tugged at my bowtie with my free hand until it came loose, because I was angry and confused and could think of nothing else to do. Of course this had happened.

‘Uh. What are you doing?’

I blinked back tears. ‘I don’t know.’

‘Oh. I see what this is.’ Leo leaned back in his chair. ‘Don’t tell me you’re about to say don’t come.’

I didn’t say anything.

‘Do not tell me,’ he continued, ‘that you’re gonna cancel because she’s not going. Because that would be really, really stupid.’

‘No, I –’

‘I have a beautiful rented tuxedo hanging over my door right now, and so help me, I’m wearing it. So here’s the deal. I’m going to go put it on. I’m gonna lint roll it. And then I’m going to be at yours at –’ He tapped the screen to check the time – ‘five-thirty, when we are going to get a five-star meal at Ol-eev Gar-dain.’ He said it with a French accent.

‘It’s Italian,’ I said.

Then, in the flattest version of his usual accent, he said: ‘It’s-a me, Olive Garden.’

I laughed. I couldn’t help it.

‘And then – and then we’re going to go to the dance and have a perfectly marvellous time, with or without the blessing of your special gal pal.’

‘Leo –’

‘No. It’s happening.’ And then, more seriously, quieter: ‘Your whole life can’t revolve round this girl. It’s not healthy. You can be happy without her, you know.’

I couldn’t even argue. No. It wasn’t healthy. ‘She’s all that helps.’

‘Yeah, in the same way a pacifier helps a baby who would prefer to spend half its existence sucking on a teat. Teats,’ he said, ‘are not forever.’

‘I know.’

‘Do you?’

‘Mm.’

‘Repeat it.’

‘Teats are not forever.’

‘Put your tie back on. You look sloppy.’

‘Duly noted.’

‘OK. Tell you what: I’m gonna shower. You can collect yourself in the meantime. See you in a bit.’

‘Bye, Leo. Thanks.’

I did as he told me, because of course I did. Retied my bowtie, straightened my hair, stared at myself in the mirror for a really long time.

Mom started cooing and getting all teary and stuff when I came downstairs. She actually looked really, genuinely happy. ‘You look beautiful. Or handsome?’

‘Either’s fine.’

She grabbed handfuls of my hair and draped them round the front of my shoulders, wound her hands through it, sort of shook it around my face. ‘You look just like your father,’ Mom said.

‘You’re only saying that because it’s the thing people say in movies.’

‘No, you do. Your features are more from me. Well, more from your grandma. Same difference. But you and your dad have that same look in your eyes.’

I smirked despite myself. ‘What look?’

She put a warm hand on my cheek and let it sit, looked through me instead of at me. ‘Like you know too much.’

Leo arrived when he said he would, pulling up the driveway in his second-hand Buick. I met him there before he could even ring the doorbell.

‘Look at you!’ he said, clutching a little plastic container with my corsage.

He wrapped me in a hug that felt tighter than usual, and I breathed him in: he smelled like some generic dude cologne, but it was comforting regardless. ‘Thank you for everything,’ I said.

Mom made us take pictures in the front yard, which I wasn’t happy about but Leo relished, positioning me like a mannequin into all manner of awkward prom positions.

We did go to Ol-eev Gar-dain two towns over where we gorged ourselves on unlimited breadsticks and when the waitress called us a lovely couple, we didn’t correct her.

And by the time we got to the high school, I felt I had loosened up. I told Leo this.

‘It was probably the breadsticks,’ he said.

We joined the horde of kids all funnelling in, moving like a school of fish, like one sentient mass. ‘Where are all the black people?’ Leo asked, after scrutinizing the crowd. ‘Am I in Get Out? Is this actually an auction?’

‘Pleasant Hills, dude.’

‘Mmph. Pleasant indeed.’

We made our way through the entrance, past a parent-run bag check. Bea’s mom said hello to me but gave both of us a double take.

Balloons dotted the floor and hovered above us; fairy lights flickered along the walls, whole strings of them strewn everywhere, across the ceiling, on the floor, along the tables.

I was looking for June at first. Of course I was. I kept thinking I saw her, but no one else had hair like her so really I was just kidding myself. Leo noticed I kept looking, so once we’d filed into the gym, which was packed and loud and full of blacklights, he physically turned my head to face him, and said, with no ounce of romance or misunderstanding or malice, and his hands on my face, ‘Hey. Be here with me, now.’