The Fragile Ordinary(61)

Stevie cut me a look of irritation. “Whit were ye thinkin’ turnin’ up there?”

Concern and anger flared out at once from me. “What are you thinking, snorting cocaine? I can’t believe I even asked that question out loud. I feel like I’m in a bloody Irvine Welsh novel.”

Shame darkened his face but only for seconds before his expression turned defiant and mulish. “It’s nothin’. Just a bit o’ a laugh.”

“A laugh? A joke? Dean isn’t giving you that shit for free, Stevie,” Tobias snapped. “You got the crap kicked out of you dealing for him. You’re seriously going to keep going with this?”

“He’s ma mate,” Stevie argued. “And I wouldnae have had the crap kicked out of me if you’d been a better mate!”

“Tobias is trying to help you. We both are. Stevie, you’re better than this.”

“Oh get off it, Comet,” he huffed, eyeing me angrily. “Ye wouldnae have given me the time o’ day if it werenae for his say-so.” He pointed to Tobias. “This is me. Like it or leave it.”

Tobias shook his head, openly seething with frustration. “That’s what I’m telling you. I told you before I didn’t want Comet near this crap, and I’m telling you now I don’t want near it.”

Realization fell over Stevie’s expression, and with it came pain that he quickly covered with disgust as his gaze bounced between us. “So whit? We’re no mates anymore? Ye havenae got ma back? Is that whit yer sayin’?”

“Stevie.” I let go of Tobias to reach for our friend but he stumbled away from me, holding his hands up to ward me off.

“Screw this,” Stevie bit out. “I dinnae need this. I dinnae need you! First you and yer maw fuck off just when ma mum needs ye—”

“Mom asked Carole if she wanted us to stay and your mom said no and wouldn’t be talked out of it, so don’t put that on us.”

“Whit the hell does ma mum know? She’s no’ the one havin’ tae deal with this. I am! And tae look after her and look after Kieran am gonna need money, and pals at ma back I can count on tae help me get it. Which means I dinnae need you.” He pointed at Tobias and then cut me a killing look. “And I definitely dinnae need yer pity. Go fuck yerselves.” He spat in the sand at our feet and stormed off.

For a moment all I could do was watch him retreat, his body hunched with cold and rage. And pain. The waves pushed forcefully against the shore, the sound soothing and calming, and completely out of sync with all of our feelings.

I shivered at the chill, wondering what I could have said or done differently. Wondering if I should go after him.

Heat enveloped me as Tobias pressed his chest to my back and wrapped his arms around me. His cold cheek pressed against my temple. “That went well.”

I grimaced, holding on to his arms. “I’m sorry.”

“We’ll give him some time. Hopefully he’ll think about it and come around.”

Hearing the sadness in his voice, I pulled out of his embrace, but only so I could face him and bury myself against him. Our arms tightened around each other. “It’s horrible to even think this...” I sighed heavily. “This is one of the crappiest days ever, but...it’s also one of the best.”

Tobias kissed my forehead. “I know what you mean. If I didn’t have you...I would have gone down that road with Stevie, and that scares the hell out of me.”

Worry pricked me at his words as I thought about what I’d only just said to Vicki that morning about my parents. It would do Tobias and me no good to become too dependent on each other. And yet, I wondered how it was possible to stop that from happening when all I wanted was to be with him. The thought of our inevitable separation in the future was already trying to niggle at me. I firmly shoved it away. “No, Tobias.” I pulled out of his grasp and stared at him sternly. “You wouldn’t have. I know you, and you would have found your way back to yourself with or without me.”

He gave me this sympathetic smile I didn’t quite understand. “No need to panic, Com. It’s okay for us to need each other. We won’t be like your mom and dad.”

Surprise rooted me to the spot at his eerie perceptiveness. “How...”

“I know you.” He shrugged. “I’ve read your poems. I know that their obsession with each other makes you angry. Worries you. But they’re assholes.” He grinned at me. “We’re not assholes. At least, I think we’re not.”

I laughed and leaned into him. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to put that on us.” I cuddled him closer, loving that I could touch him anytime I wanted now. “You’re very wise, Tobias King.”

“Nah. I just pay attention to Comet-related stuff.”

His words caused a flutter in my chest, one that only worsened delightfully as we began to stroll along the beach.

“Hey, I’m definitely trying out for the rugby team. I’ve decided.”

“You should!”

Tobias grinned at my excitement. “Okay.”

I decided to share my own news. “I let Mr. Stone read my poetry and asked him if I could start a school lit mag. He said yes.”

His eyes widened. “Comet...that’s amazing. I know that couldn’t have been easy for you.”