The Fragile Ordinary(56)
“Tobias?”
He blinked and dropped his hand, shoving it back in the pocket of his jacket. “You scared me tonight, Comet.”
Disbelief cascaded over me. “I did? Me? I scared you? Tobias, I saw Stevie snort a line of cocaine! And when I tried to find you, I was accosted by some idiot who threatened to kill you and made it sound like he could actually do it!”
“He probably could.” He scrubbed a hand over his hair and bit out a curse.
“What is going on? Please, tell me.”
He studied me a moment and eventually sighed. “Can we go back to yours?”
Like Kyle and Carrie would even notice. “Of course.”
By the time we got to the house and I let us into my bedroom, I was a jittering wreck. Massive waves of nervous energy were emanating from Tobias, making me worse. He was rarely nervous about anything. Once inside my room, I waited impatiently as Tobias slumped down on my bed, elbows on knees, head in hands.
I shrugged out of my jacket and unwound my scarf. Still waiting.
“Comet,” he huffed, not looking up. “Sit down, okay, you’re making me nervous.”
“You’re making me nervous.” I sat on the armchair across from him. “You and Stevie didn’t kill someone, did you? Did Dean dispose of the body for you and now he’s blackmailing you?”
Tobias’s broad shoulders shook and he lifted his head to stare at me with amusement tinged with sadness. “You’ve got to stop reading so many books.”
“Never.”
He smiled at me, his look so tender that I squirmed with the need to shoot across the room and throw my arms around him. Instead I met his gaze and asked directly, “What happened back there?”
“I just chose you over Stevie,” he said.
I swear my eyebrows must have hit my hairline at this pronouncement. “What?”
“Stevie and some of the guys have been hanging around Dean more and more. Dean is a dealer. And he’s part of something bigger—we’re talking an adult-sized, criminal gang who deal drugs and steal cars for a living. Dean deals cocaine to kids. Blair Lochrie High School is one of his grounds. He sells to quite a few kids there.”
At our high school?
Class A drugs at our high school?
“Bloody hell,” I whispered. “Where have I been?”
“Where I prefer you—safe with your nose stuck in a book.”
“Tobias... Stevie?”
Hearing the worry in my voice, he winced. “I tried, Com. I tried to keep him out of it, but he’s so messed up and I couldn’t stop him. I hung around to make sure he was okay.”
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” God, please let that be why he was avoiding me.
“Yes.” A million apologies swirled in his gorgeous eyes. “I didn’t mean for Stevie to find out about you, because I didn’t want you anywhere near the stuff he was getting involved in. But then you two got along, so well I thought you might...have feelings for each other, so I told him that he either stopped hanging around Dean or he stopped hanging around you. He agreed keeping you out of that stuff, away from the boys, was better for you. So we stopped coming around as much and then stopped coming around at all. Tonight was his initiation into Dean’s crew. It was supposed to be both our initiations, I guess, because Dean was sending Stevie to some other party with drugs, and I was following Stevie as backup. Now I’m not.”
There was so much to process in what he’d just said.
My brain blurted out the first thing it wanted to deal with. “Stevie and I don’t have feelings for each other. I don’t like Stevie, Tobias.”
His eyes widened as my tone implied that I liked someone else. “No?”
“No.”
“Good. Because I just left him to that hell.” He stood up and started pacing back and forth. “I tried to help him even if it meant hurting you, and he just let himself get pulled further down into that crap.”
I stood up, reached out to touch him, to slow him down. He stilled, looking at my hand on his arm. “What did you mean? You chose me over Stevie?”
“Comet, Dean made it clear that if I left with you, I couldn’t go around there or anywhere near him again. So I either had to stay and go with Stevie as his backup on a drug deal and leave you to handle Dean on your own, or I could walk out of there with you and leave Stevie to do it alone. For good.” His gaze moved over my face, as if he were committing each feature to memory.
My heart started thudding so hard the blood rushed through my ears. “So you chose me.”
“Of course,” he choked out. “I’d never let anything happen to you. And seeing you there... I never want to see that crap touch you again. It was a wake-up call for me. I don’t want to be a part of that shit either. That’s not me.”
Seeing something in his expression made me brave in a way I never thought I could be. Knees trembling, I stepped up to him and placed a hand on his chest, over his heart. His chest was strong and hard beneath my hand, his body heat surrounding me and that woodsy, spicy, citrusy scent he wore teasing my senses. I wanted to sway into him, hold him tight, and never let go, but I had something important to say first now that I had his absolute attention. “Being a good student, working for something, achieving something, playing hard at football...it wasn’t all for your dad, Tobias. There is no maybe about it. Deep down you want those things for yourself, too. You’re smart and good and such a special person.” I gave him a tremulous smile, wondering if how I felt for him was as obvious to him as it was to apparently everyone else. “You deserve the life you really want.”