The Fragile Ordinary(36)

“Not now.” He shrugged. “Maybe one day. But it’s kind of good to be free of all of it. My dad wanted a lot from me. I didn’t really have much time to be... I don’t know. I just didn’t have a lot of free time.”

“Your friends must miss you, though?”

He smirked but it was somewhat bitter. “My best friend, Jack, he’s a year older. A senior now. He’s starting quarterback on the team and he’s dating Ashley. My ex.” He threw me a dark look. “No one misses me, Comet. They moved on as soon as I left.”

“Have you?”

“Yeah. It’s high school. One day it’ll be a distant memory.”

I wasn’t sure that was an honest answer, but I thought Tobias believed it was, so I let it go. We walked along in companionable silence as I tried to find the courage to ask the question that had plagued me from the moment he’d returned my notebook to me.

“Tobias?”

“Yeah?”

I liked the smile in his voice when he answered. It was a much nicer sound than the tight way he’d answered my questions about his old life. “Did you...” My stomach flipped so hard I had to suck in a breath against it.

“Comet?”

“Did you really like my poems?” The words rushed out of my mouth.

Quite abruptly Tobias stopped walking and turned to face me. The pull of his gaze was so strong I had no option but to stare up into his eyes. “Yes, Comet. I really liked your poems.”

Something warm and sweet flooded me but before it even had time to settle, he continued, “Reading them...well...it was the first time in a long time that I didn’t feel so alone.”

My breath stuttered at his confession and, standing there on the esplanade with this boy who had once been a stranger, I felt something within me shift. I suddenly felt this fierce protectiveness toward him. His kindness, his understanding and his connection to my poems created a bond that flared in the dusk between us.

For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel so alone either.





THE FRAGILE ORDINARYSAMANTHA YOUNG





10

Hope,

They say it dies last.

There’s a cruelty in its stubbornness.

Hope,

I hope it dies fast.

Or it could be the end of us.





—CC


I was filled with apprehension the next morning as I made my way to school. Last night had felt like a dream, like a scene from a book. Talking with Tobias had been surprisingly easy in a way conversation hadn’t been since I’d been about twelve.

When we were kids, Vicki, Steph and I had chatted with the same ease that we breathed in and out. Something had changed over the last few years, and talking with them had become more of a struggle. I was afraid of disappointing them the way I disappointed my parents.

For the first time in years, I’d talked without worrying about what the person listening might think. That the person I’d been talking to was Tobias King had been surreal. At first. Until he’d opened up to me and become just...Tobias.

More than anything I did not want to walk into school only to discover Tobias was going to ignore me.

I didn’t see him before form class or on my way to biology, and I was stupidly disappointed he hadn’t searched me out before classes started. Dread filled me as I sat in the library during my free second period. Tobias and I had three classes together next. The possibility of being ignored by him hurt. A lot. Too much.

Feeling like my ankles had been weighted, I walked with such a slow trudge toward Spanish class.

“Didn’t get much sleep last night?”

I startled as Tobias suddenly appeared beside me, grinning down at me quizzically.

All the tension melted out of me and I suddenly felt like a balloon let loose from its weight. I gave him a confused smile. “Excuse me?”

“You’re walking like a zombie.”

“Oh.” I blushed and shook my head. “Just daydreaming.”

“You’re embarrassed.” His smile widened, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “What the hell were you daydreaming about?”

To my chagrin my cheeks grew even hotter. “Nothing. School. Spanish.”

“A likely story.” He nudged me with his elbow. “But I’ll give you a free pass.”

“Magnanimous of you.” I rolled my eyes, pretending not to be mortified that Tobias obviously thought I was daydreaming about him.

I mean, I was, but I didn’t want him to know that. It would crush me if the thought of me fancying him made him uncomfortable. I needed him to know—even if it was only a half-truth—that I wanted to be his friend above all else.

He chuckled as we walked into class together. “Anyway... Yo conozco todos tus secretos.”

I already know all your secrets. I made a face. “That’s what you think.”

This time he laughed outright, winked at me and strolled to his chair. Ignoring the curious looks from some of my classmates, I slid into my seat, feeling like butter about to slide off hot toast. Somehow, I stopped myself from melting into a puddle under my desk.

But my heart was beating outrageously fast.

Laughter and a wink from him, and I was as giddy as a five-year-old at Disney World.