The Fragile Ordinary(32)

A new breed of butterflies awoke inside at the thought of Tobias and me becoming friendly enough that we trusted one another. Until now he’d been a mix of fantasy-book boyfriend come to life and a confusing troublemaker who could make me feel at ease one minute and then a nervous wreck the next. Now I was almost desperate for classes tomorrow, to see what he would say or do.

I wanted more than anything for him to be telling the truth, not only about keeping my poems to himself, but about liking them. The former was out of self-preservation. The latter, however, was about something else entirely. The idea of being friends with Tobias filled me with what felt like electricity. My heart beat harder, faster, and my fingers and toes tingled with restless energy.

It was like I’d been sleepwalking for the last sixteen years, and now I was awake.

Really, truly, awake for the first time.





THE FRAGILE ORDINARYSAMANTHA YOUNG





9

Yesterday there was nothing but gray sky,

Now there are sunbeams where once there were clouds.

Yesterday I felt as though I had no ally,

Now I have someone who sees me among the crowds.





—CC


There were no weird looks or whispers behind my back as I walked into the school the next morning. No one said a word to me in form class, so I concluded that Tobias had been telling the truth. He hadn’t shown anyone else the poetry.

I relaxed at the thought, although not completely, because I was still anticipating seeing him in English for first period. We saw each other for the first three periods on a Thursday because we had English, Spanish and then maths together.

Vicki and Steph barely said a word to me in form class. Now that I wasn’t anxious over everyone finding out about my poetry, I found myself concerned over alienating my friends even more than usual.

“Do you guys want to study at mine after school?”

“I can’t. Rehearsal,” Steph said.

I looked at Vicki expectantly.

She gave me an apologetic smile. “I said I’d help out with the costumes for the show. I’m going over some sketches with Ms. Scott and taking cast measurements.”

“Oh. Okay. Do you need help? I could keep you company and it would look good on my university applications.”

“There would be nothing for you to do.”

My belly roiled as I tried to convince myself they weren’t deliberately avoiding me. Which was hard to do when they walked ahead of me toward English class.

Staring forlornly at their backs, I was distracted, which was why it took me a second to realize someone had fallen into step beside me. I startled and glanced up into Tobias’s gorgeous face.

He grinned down at me. “You were somewhere else there.”

I nodded, still struck by his size and the fact that he was walking with me to class.

“Are you mad at me?”

I tensed, feeling more vulnerable than I ever wanted to feel as we walked into class together. Should I be honest with him or not?

Ignoring Steph’s and Vicki’s pointed stares, I settled into my seat and said to Tobias, as he sat next to me, “I should be mad at you.”

Tobias leaned in, his breath caressing my cheek as he whispered, “Don’t be mad. Your secrets are safe with me, Comet.”

I turned to look at him, our noses inches from one another as I stared into his bright eyes. “I admit it was my fault for leaving the notebook at yours...but still...I never willingly gave you those secrets.”

Finally, remorse clouded his gaze. “I know. I’m sorry. They’re all good secrets, though. They say good things about you. Trust me with them.”

A part of me—a huge part—wanted to sway into his words, be wrapped up in the spell of his deep voice and magnetic charisma. But my confusion over why someone like Tobias could possibly understand someone like me, and like me, won. I felt a shutter come down over my eyes, blocking him out, and he must have noticed it. His smile turned into a scowl seconds before I unlocked my gaze from his.

*

Unfortunately, as silent as I was with him, I couldn’t escape Tobias. We had Spanish next, though thankfully, he sat at the back of the room. I didn’t even have the support or distraction of Vicki in Spanish anymore as she’d dropped the subject after week one and was taking Modern Studies with Steph instead.

I didn’t know if it was my imagination or not, but I honestly thought I could feel Tobias’s gaze on the back of my neck.

And then I couldn’t even escape him in conversation during our morning break.

Steph and Vicki found me in our common room, which happened to be a music room on the second floor. Other classmates were there, too, hanging out with their friends, but Steph and Vicki zoomed in on me.

“What was that?” Vicki said.

“What was what?”

“Don’t play dumb.” Steph slid onto the tabletop beside me and put her feet on a chair. “I thought King was going to snog you in front of everyone.”

I felt my cheeks flush. “Wh-what?”

“What were you talking about?” Vicki stood in front of me, arms crossed. Was I under interrogation?

“Class,” I lied.

She scowled at me. “It looked more than that.”

“It wasn’t.” I looked between my friends. “What’s the big deal?”