The Forsaken(40)

Meredith mustered a half smile. “Then your honor is blessed. Let that shine onto Shea. She will need it. But…”

“Don’t bother with any more buts, Meredith. I get the hint. Be gentle. Gotcha.”

“No, Mike I wasn’t going to say that. Shea needs you to be strong not gentle. Mending with shaky hands will only scar her more. Treat her like you always have. She must learn to respect herself and you of all people are best suited for that task.”

Mike mumbled, “Thanks. I think.”

Meredith opened Shea’s bedroom door and ushered out a fellow sister. The sweet overpowering scent of incense filled the room. The drapes were drawn tightly shut even though the sun shone brilliantly outside. The room smelled dark and moist, not at all fresh and airy as would normally be the case.

“I leave you now, Mike, to work your own miracle. Be a believer for us.”

Mumbling more to himself, Mike paced into the small room, moving from where Shea lay in one twin bed to the makeshift cot that had been placed on the opposite side of the room. Meredith watched him struggle. He didn’t know what to do, or where to sit.

“She doesn’t need gentle words, Mike. Remember, be true to her.” Those were the only parting words Meredith dared to offer. She could not write this history. Mike’s fate had to unfold as was written—a shame because Meredith liked Mike.

Meredith’s gift of foretelling was never accurate, and she suspected that was why the Mistress had gifted it to her when exiled to Earth. Cursed was more fitting. Never once would Meredith think that thought for she knew the Mistress had not left them. She knew, without doubt, the Mistress observed, and while she’d also liked to disclose that to Izzy, she knew her best friend would rather believe in superman than that truth.

*

“It’s okay, Shea. It’s just me, Mike. I opened the windows to let in some light for you. I’ve…I’ve been worried sick about you.”

Shea motioned to the water on the side table. Mike fumbled with the glass, spilling water as he went, his fingers all but trembling. He was the last person she wanted to see.

“Thank you.”

Her voice sounded different to her own ears and she knew Mike noticed, but said nothing. Slowly, she sipped at the tepid water. Clutching the blanket tight, she edged up in the bed. When was the last time I got out of this bed? The question startled her because a day ago it would not have entered her head. Her only thought had been penance. What she had allowed to happen, what she had embraced, made her want to weep. She’d thought he’d come to her in her dreams like he had before, but that wasn’t the case.

“It’s going to be okay, Shea,” said Mike.

It would never be okay again, but Shea couldn’t say that. She supposed she must have sighed because Mike cursed.

“Christ, what shit. It’s not going to be okay. You’re never going to be the same, but that doesn’t mean you get to give up on living. When was the last time you had a shower?”

The vengeance in his voice and question startled her. “What?”

“Shower, bath, anything. I bet you’ve been wallowing in here all week. I’m such a shit. I should have come sooner. What the Hell was I waiting for? A bunch of angels, trying to deal with this?”

“You know of us?” His admission caught at her. She would never think Izzy to tell him and then it dawned on her. He knew because of what had happened to her. Because of her crime.

“Don’t even go there. Yeah, I know of you, the bunch of you…but Shea, to me, you’re the same.”

She gave him the courtesy of a small nod. She wasn’t the same, but suspected he didn’t know all there was to Cherub life.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” asked Mike, bending down to the side of the bed.

She shook her head. Her hair was truly matted. Mike’s earlier question finally penetrated her brain. The last time she’d bathed was the night she’d returned home. She remembered it well because the bath water had turned red with the color of her blood. Not yellow or golden, but red—a slap in the face, decreeing how far she’d fallen. Meredith, luckily, had been the only sister attending to her, but her gasp said it all. She was no longer angel material.

Then why do I still have my wings? Another question she had not thought to ask herself.

“You should have left me in that alley, Mike.”

The range of emotions that crossed lightning fast across Mike’s normally controlled and so boyishly handsome face caused Shea’s heart to skip a beat.

“Fuck that, Shea. What happened to you was not your fault. I’m not about to let you wallow anymore in this bed with self-pity. Yeah, I got the whole Angel 101 talk from Izzy and Nathanael, so believe me, I’m trying to understand how you feel. But get this: lying down, letting this thing take over you is not going to make you feel better. Don’t you want to get even? Don’t you want revenge?”

She propped herself up straighter, dragging along even more of the covers. “Cherubs aren’t to think of revenge.”

“Seems to me your Cherub way of thinking has already damned you. Why not go for the revenge feeling? You want revenge, then I’ll teach you how to fight. I’ll teach you how to kill. I’ll teach you everything you need to know about mankind.”

“It wasn’t man that did this to me.”