The Forsaken(36)

He gently placed her on her bed.

“Did I ask you to leave them? No. I asked you to stay in bed, to stay in your sanctuary and heal. You agreed to my terms. Then you blatantly disobeyed me. I am trying to look out for you.”

Izzy gulped. Her heart raced and a warm flush cascaded like a billowing cloud over her skin. The only other person who had looked out for her had been her Mother. She must be overly exhausted because Izzy felt the swell of tears fill her eyes.

“Come, Isabella you are exhausted. I will have Meredith bring you up a hot drink. We can continue this talk tomorrow.”

Izzy shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about us.”

He sat next to her on her bed and gently touched her shoulders. “We can talk about whatever you want.”

She looked at him. “Are we supposed to talk about the weather?”

“If that would please you.”

Izzy rolled her eyes. “Get real, Nathanael.”

He brushed a curl off her shoulder. “I’m trying. I’m trying to be patient and I’d like to get to know you.”

“Must we always fight?” he asked, his voice a husky whisper.

Izzy captured his chin in her hand. “Fighting is in my nature. I will not ever be what you expect me to be. I cannot.”

“Why?”

This was the heart of his quest. Why had she dared to disobey Cherub law? Why had she sacrificed herself for her fellow sisters?

“I cannot.” She would not confess her guilt that ate at her daily. He would not own what had happened to her mother. Only she bore that cross. “Let me go, Nathanael. I will never be good enough for you.” Izzy hated how much her voice cracked but his tenderness, when she sought war, was undoing her.

“Never. You are mine. Or maybe you would rather a human?”

“I want no one.”

“You are saying, all these years on Earth, you didn’t think about giving yourself to a man?”

She sucked in her breath, wondering for a second if Meredith had mentioned her role with Gareth. Quickly, she dismissed that. Meredith would never reveal what existed between Gareth because she knew how Izzy felt about him. But what Nathanael questioned was true. She had thought to give herself to Gareth to help him—not for love, passion, or anything else.

Nathanael went completely still. He pushed her down on the bed and knelt over her, keeping her pinned underneath him.

“Who? Who was it?”

The hurt and anger Izzy saw fly across his normally controlled face shamed her.

“It’s not like you think,” she said.

“You do not want to know what I think, Isabella.” His voice, a measure of complete control made her gulp.

Tears welled in the corners of her eyes and she hated herself. His lips moved to her face and he kissed each drop that dared to escape. “You think I don’t know what you were contemplating, but let me be clear. You, Isabella are mine. Only mine. From now on the only person with the right to touch you is me. Any others will meet with death. Am I clear?”

Such vicious controlled words, said with tender passion while he kissed away the evidence of her weakness—her tears—made Izzy want to bury her head in her pillow and cry for hours. But that wouldn’t do.

Izzy fought to regain a semblance of her dignity. “You are correct. I had thought it.”

“And do you understand what I just said?”

“Nathanael, I don’t want anyone.”

He kissed her nose and rolled off her, but brought her body up close with his so they could snuggle. “But you have someone—me. I’m in your life, and don’t ever plan to leave it.”

“I don’t want a Cherub life.”

“You misunderstand, and I think, on purpose. You, Isabella are my Cherub. We will be together, one way or another.”

Izzy looked up at him. She raised herself up on her knees and leaned into him. Her hands cupped his face and she kissed him, startling him into silence. He tensed but then he gently kissed her back. As quick as the kiss happened, she ended things.

Turning her back to him, she said, “You’re right. I’m tired. Leave me.”

She heard his feet move and then the door shut, and for that, she said a prayer of thanks. What by the blessed scribes had come over her? Kissing Nathanael hadn’t been wise. She thought she’d hate it. She’d been wrong.

*

Nat knew he’d pushed Isabella but his gut twisted with the knowledge he was right. She had thought to give her body to another. When he found out who that person was, he was going to kill them. He couldn’t let that on to Izzy. She was suffering enough and taking too much upon her beautiful shoulders. A part of him wanted to throttle her for disobeying him, but her kissing him had made him speechless. He smiled as he walked down the stairs, realizing he liked her fierce independent streak. Maybe he’d do better to ask for her help instead of ordering her about. That’s how his father got things done when it came to Council decisions and Nat knew as stubborn as his father was he also worked for the greater good.

Knowing how prevalent demons were in this realm was something his brethren needed to know. Nat had to make Izzy understand that she couldn’t place herself in harm’s way. He was not about to let her continue to fight demons. It was his role. She was endangering her life, and if he had to continually remind her that her death would leave her sisters alone to the sins of mankind, he would. Not playing fair when at war was a strategy he’d willingly use.