Riding With Brighton(30)
“And the truth is you’re gay and you’re about to tell your girlfriend.”
He turns his head and shoots daggers at my eyes. “Really? Fuck, Brighton.”
“What?” I laugh. “I’m just trying to get my head in the game. You’re the one who wanted me here.”
He grins and shoves his hands into my shoulders, and I stumble backward. He lunges to stop me like I would have fallen on my ass without his assistance, which I wouldn’t have. “Shit, sorry, but dammit… now I’m nervous.”
He’s still holding on to my shoulders, so I grab on to his waist and pull him close. “You just said the S word.”
His eyes get all heavy, and the smile he gives me is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen and then… the door opens.
Jay and I let go of each other immediately, but Sadie is looking at us suspiciously. I panic for a second before realizing this was the whole point of coming here and maybe the fact that Jay and I just got busted holding on to each other will make the whole uncomfortable conversation happen a lot sooner.
“Hey,” Jay says to her with an easy smile, walking into the house and wrapping his arms around her. She hugs him back, and the worry drops off her face, replaced by a happy smile. “Is it okay that I brought Brighton with me?”
I step into the house and give her an awkward wave.
“Of course,” she says brightly. Jesus, if she only knew how not okay it is that I’m here. “Is it okay if we head out back? I’m still in my suit.”
And then I notice for the first time that she’s in a bikini top with a towel wrapped around her waist.
“Yeah, of course.” Wrapping an arm around her, Jay heads through the house. As I follow them, all I can do is look at her and think about the fact that that sexy kid, who she’s probably in love with, is about to break her heart.
When we reach the pool in the backyard, she asks, “Do you guys want to swim? There’re some swim shorts in the pool house.”
“No,” Jay tells her, and I can hear the tension in his voice. “I actually need to talk to you about something.”
“Oh.” Her face drops instantly.
Jesus. I wasn’t kidding when I told Jay I would go through all of this with him, but how the hell did I end up being the third wheel in a break-up conversation?
“Okay.” She takes the towel off her waist and covers up her cute little figure with a tunic before walking over to the table and sitting down. Jay and I follow her, and I take the seat farthest from the two of them, feeling like a total jackass for being here.
He smiles gently and takes her hands in his. “I love you, Sadie. I hope you know that. You’re my best friend and one of the only people I can really talk to.”
He pauses and she says, “I love you too,” but the uncertainty is clear in her voice.
“I trust you. With everything. But I haven’t been completely honest with you.”
“Oh God,” she whispers. “Did you cheat on me? Jay, please don’t say you cheated on me.”
“No, Sadie. It’s nothing like that.”
“Because I know I said….” She pauses to glance at me, and I want to dig myself a nice deep hole. “That I was… waiting. But if it’s something you need, we can talk about it.”
“God, Sadie, no. Don’t do that. Don’t ever do that. I respect you so much for saving yourself for the right guy. I’m just… I’m not that guy.”
Her expression is pure confusion. She stares at him for a few moments before a tear slips down her cheek. I want to look away, but it’s like a car crash and I can’t. Jay reaches up and wipes it away, and I can see the pain on his face.
He was right: she’s so sweet and she loves him so much and the truth is what she deserves.
“Can I trust you? If I tell you something, can I trust you with it?” he whispers.
She nods. “Anything.”
He ducks his head and shakes it, and I want to reach out and hold on to him and help him through this, but that’s obviously not gonna be okay right now. “I’ve been struggling with this for so long. I’ve been trying to get it to go away, and I’ve been pretending to be someone I’m not.”
She looks completely bewildered as she tries to figure out what the hell he’s talking about. He pauses for too long—gives her too much time to think. And, inevitably, she slowly turns her sad, confused eyes to me—the token gay kid. I cringe. I can’t help it. Come on, Sadie, add it up. And then she cocks her head like it’s starting to make sense. I know my face looks guilty as hell and that she’s probably going back to a few minutes ago when she found Jay and me touching each other, looking at each other with pure lust. And then she turns back to him and whispers, “Are you… oh my God, Jay… are you… gay?” She says the word gay so quietly I’m not sure I even heard it or if I just assumed it.
His head snaps up, his eyes meet hers, and she must have found the answer in his face somewhere because she pulls her hands out of his and brings them to her mouth.
He nods, confirming her suspicions, and she audibly gasps.
“Are you with him?” she mumbles through her fingers.
“No… no. I’m just trying to figure all this out, and he’s helping me.”