Remember Jamie Baker (Jamie Baker #3)(83)

The lights flicked out and stayed out, making the only light in the room the soft glow of my eyes. There were a few heartbeats of tense silence, and then the power came back on. Tyson slowly got up from his chair and held his hand out to me. “Whoever you are now, you aren’t alone.”

I clasped his offered hand, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. When I opened my eyes again, I looked around at all the uncomfortable soldiers and then met Major Wilks’s eyes. His steady presence grounded me. I shook my head at Ryan, Becky, and my parents. “Right now I’m just Angel, and I’ve got a job to do. I’m going after Donovan, and if you can’t deal with that, then please leave. Having you here is very distracting for me. I can’t deal with it yet.”

My mom turned into my father’s chest and broke into sobs. My father sent me one last desperate glance over the top of her head and then guided her out of the room. Becky watched them go and cast me a look of hurt and disappointment. “You’re right,” she whispered. “You’re really not her anymore.”

Her words didn’t cut me the way I think she meant them to, because I’d shut down emotionally. There was too much to deal with. Too much confusion and pain. If I wanted to function, I had to shut it out. She was a stranger to me. So were my parents. I didn’t need them to understand my decision or approve of it. They would forgive me if I was successful and got my memory back. And if I didn’t, well, chances were our relationship wasn’t going to survive, anyway.

After Becky stormed out, Ryan remained, angrily staring down the other ACEs. “Jamie is stubborn and self-sacrificing,” he said. “She’ll use Teddy and the other PACs, and the threat of Donovan to talk herself into doing something that she shouldn’t do. She isn’t trained the way you guys are. She doesn’t know better. But you do. This is a flawed mission. You know that. If she weren’t the Angel, you wouldn’t be letting her do it.”

He moved his gaze to the major and pulled his shoulders back. “Major, sir, I urge you to think really hard about this. Jamie’s an amazingly gifted and powerful woman, but you’re putting too much faith in her abilities.”

He wasn’t even looking at me now. He no longer cared to convince me. He was going over my head. He called me stubborn, but I wasn’t the only one. “We shouldn’t go without more intel. She may not think her life is worth the risk, but you and I both know it is. Please, sir. Don’t encourage her to do this.”

Once his speech ended, the tension left him and he sort of collapsed in on himself. He looked exhausted. “Major?” he asked quietly. “Permission to go check on the Bakers and Becky?”

“Now?” Major Wilks asked quietly. He sounded surprised but understanding as well.

Ryan glanced my way before nodding at his commanding officer. “I could use the break, sir.”

Major Wilks studied Ryan a moment before nodding. “Very well; permission granted. Eyes will find you and fill you in after we’re finished here.”

Swallowing hard, Ryan nodded, saluted the major, and turned on his heel. He never glanced my direction again before leaving the room, and it lanced my heart. Having him angry with me hurt much more than I’d thought it would. As the door clicked shut behind him, I wondered if I’d made a mistake. It was possible that, if I pushed him enough, I could lose Ryan. I realized right then that I didn’t want that to happen. I may have only known him for a few days, but I cared about him. A lot.

“Romeo’s right, sir.”

My head whipped around to meet Johnny G’s confident stare. He gave me a shrug and shook his head at Major Wilks. “This is not one of our better plans. You know I’ll respect your decision either way, but I don’t like it. It’s too big of a risk. Not just for the Angel, but for the entire team. Donovan knows us. He knows we have the Angel, and he’ll be planning on us finding a way to follow her. It’s not just going to be a trap for her. We’ll all be walking into a trap. Donovan won’t care to spare our lives. As this team’s leader, I am responsible for my men in the field, and if it were up to me, this is one mission I wouldn’t send them on.”

My stomach sank. He was right. I couldn’t ask his team to take that kind of risk. I was willing to sacrifice myself for my memories easily enough. Donovan didn’t want to hurt or kill me. He wanted to control me. To study me. And I wasn’t as defenseless as my companions. I had powers they didn’t. I was confident that I could find a way to get in there, help the other PACs, and get out somehow. But the ACEs would be lambs to the slaughter against an army of superthugs who knew they were coming.

Hissing a curse, I sat back down and stared at the table, trying not to feel bitter that all of my hopes had just been dashed.

“I’m sorry, Angel,” Johnny G said. “I know how important this is to you, and I’m all for helping you, but not at the expense of my men.”

I continued to stare at the table, but I nodded to show I understood. “No, you’re right. I hadn’t thought about that, and I wouldn’t risk them, either. I can’t ask you all to come on this mission without knowing more.”

“So we wait a while,” Tex offered. “Gather more intelligence, and go in when we know what we’re up against.”

“How?” Geek’s frustrated voice rang out. “There’s no way to gather intelligence. Donovan and his entire organization are impossible to find. We’ve extinguished all our resources. That’s why we were even willing to consider this alternative in the first place.”