P.S. I Like You(62)

A lump formed in my throat. “He didn’t fall for me.”

“It sure seems like he did.”

“Even if that were true, which it’s not, it doesn’t matter. I’m choosing you. I’m choosing us. I wore black.”

She smiled and pulled me into a hug. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

“I was always jealous of you and Cade.”

I pushed away from her so I could see her face. “Jealous? Of our fighting?”

“Yes. He’d get more passionate discussing something you did than anything we’d ever done or talked about. I never told you that I always kind of thought you two had a connection you both refused to admit to.”

“Iz.” I could tell what she was doing and I didn’t want her to feel like she had to do this.

“Hear me out.” She picked up the letters and placed them gently into my hands. “I want this for you.”

I smiled. “I love you for that, but he doesn’t want me, he wants her. The girl from in here.” I held up the letters. “Or at least he used to. He stopped writing and I have no idea why. Maybe because he thought she was Sasha. I don’t know.”

“Then tell him you’re her!”

“I’m scared.”

“If you don’t try, you’ll always wonder.”

“Isabel … ”

“Please, Lil.” She looked me in the eye. “I’ve been selfish. I never had him. Never all the way. I tried to blame that on you, but it wasn’t you. It was us. Me and Cade. We weren’t right for each other. But you two … ” She placed her hands on the outside of mine, which were still holding the letters. “You two would … What was that he said in one of the letters? Balance each other perfectly? Something like that? Anyway, I agree with him. You would. You do. Lily, give this a chance.”

Her plea was so sincere, so heartfelt, that all I could do was say, “I’ll think about it.” And “Thank you.”



When I went into my room later that night, something was on my pillow. The first thought I had was that Jonah had been in my room again messing with my stuff. But that wasn’t it. On my pillow sat the newspaper clipping for the song-writing contest, flattened as best as possible.

“Don’t give up,” Ashley said from behind me. “I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you.”

I turned to see my sister in the doorway, my brothers’ heads peeking out from behind her.

“Did you guys do this?” I asked.

“You’re good, Lil,” Ashley said. “You can do it. You just need to believe in yourself.”

I picked up the newspaper clipping to reread the contest entry deadline and a glint of silver caught my eye. Beneath the clipping, there in the middle of my pillow, was money. A stack of bills and some change.

“I know it won’t cover the whole cost of a new guitar,” Ashely said, “but it’s a start.”

“I put the quarters in,” Jonah said proudly.

I couldn’t speak. A hot trail of tears spilled out of my eyes. My siblings came in the room and wrapped me in a group hug.

“I love you guys,” I said through a sob. “Thank you.”

“We’ve missed music around here,” Ashley said.

“You guys are the best.”

“We know,” Wyatt said.

“What’s that smell?” Ashley asked.

Jonah giggled.

“Ew!” Ashley broke free of the hug, dispersing us all, and chased Jonah out of my room to loud shrieks. I had the best family in the universe.





I awoke the next morning immediately feeling a sense of panic. My heart raced, my lungs burned, my eyes stung. I was terrified just thinking about telling Cade I was the letter writer. I still wasn’t sure why he’d stopped writing me, but it didn’t seem like a good sign that right now both the letter-writing version of me and the real version of me weren’t necessarily on his good side.

I wouldn’t tell him.

No, I would tell him. At least if I told him it would be over and I could move on with my life.

I rolled onto my side. The pile of money my siblings had given me the night before—almost a hundred dollars worth—sat on my nightstand and gave me a boost of strength. I could do this.



If hair cooperation was any indication of how this day would go, I was in trouble. My hair refused to be tamed. When I showed up to school, my waves were a wild mess.

I searched for Isabel with an extra sense of urgency to see if she’d changed her mind, if she felt weird about me and Cade potentially being together. I was trying to find a good excuse not to do this. I’d been trying to find an excuse not to admit that I liked Cade for a long time now.

But when I found Isabel, her smile was even more radiant than the night before. “You look like you’re going to puke,” she said, abandoning our normal greeting.

“I feel like I’m going to puke. And by the way, that’s the last thing I thought before I went to bed last night, too.”

She laughed. “So I take it you made a decision.”

“Yes.”

She didn’t have to ask me what that decision was. She knew. “Just relax. I read those letters, Lil. I’ve never heard him talk like that to anyone. You’ll be fine.”