One Small Thing(30)

No one does. Scarlett’s mad at me. Jeff’s mad at me. My parents hate me.

I push to my feet. Maybe if I was more... What? More obedient? More robot-like?

Fuck that. I want to have a life. I want to have fun. All these people are choking the life out of me, telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. That includes Chase. I’m done with him, too. He said he doesn’t want or need my support. Then I’m not giving it to him. He doesn’t deserve it.

“He leave you here?” a deep voice asks from behind me.

I turn around to see a stranger. I squint. Was this someone from Kavill’s house?

“How did you know?”

The boy grins. “I saw the whole thing from my porch. Mad about Kav’s party? He’s kind of a straightedge, but you can come over to my place. I don’t have a hot tub like Kav, but I’ve got some other fun party favors.”

“You sound like a villain from a Stephen King novel,” I tell him bluntly.

Surprisingly, the boy throws his head back and laughs. “Got a little tongue on you, do you?” he says before sticking out his hand. “I’m Jay Tanner. I go to school with Kav.” He pulls out his phone. “Look, I’ve got his number right here. Call him and check it out.”

Jay doesn’t know that I’m totally abandoned. He thinks I know the kids inside of Greg Kavill’s house and that we left because the party was too tame. I’m too embarrassed to admit I don’t know Kav at all, so I say, “Nah, it’s fine.”

“Then come over. You’ll have fun,” he says. “I promise.”

I find myself following him across the street and down the block. He didn’t lie. His house is only a few addresses away from Kav’s. I can hear the music as we walk up the sidewalk. There are plenty of lights on inside the house and from what I can see, there are lots of kids, as well. My spirits lift.

“I’m Beth,” I tell him.

“Nice to meet you, Beth. What school do you go to?”

“Lex,” I lie. If I say Darling, he’ll assume things.

“I know Harvey Bassett. You have any classes with him?”

We climb the three steps of the front porch. He holds the door for me.

“Lex is a big school,” I answer, because I have no clue who Bassett is.

“Yeah, that’s true. How do you know Kav?”

“Friend of a friend.”

Inside, the place is smaller than it appears outside. It might be the music. It’s so loud it feels like a physical assault, but at least I don’t have to answer any more uncomfortable questions.

Jay makes a drinking motion with his hand. I nod. He holds up one finger and disappears deeper into the house. No one stares at me. No one even really notices that I’m here. They’re dancing or making out on the sofa or playing a video game. I relax and wait for Jay to come back.

He reappears with two red cups. I accept mine and take a cautious sip. A sweet rather than bitter taste hits my tongue.

“You like?” he shouts in my ear.

I shoot him a thumbs-up. If there’s alcohol in here, I can’t taste it. I take a big swallow. And then another. And then another until it’s completely gone.

“I’ll get you a refill,” he yells.

I nod gratefully but have to stop as soon as his back is turned. The nodding made me dizzy. My legs feel weak. I hold an arm out to steady myself. What I really need is to sit down, I decide.

I find a set of stairs and plop down on the first one, ignoring the couple halfway up that are practically humping each other.

Jay comes back with two more glasses and a big grin. I’m going to make this one last, I think. But it’s so good.

So good.

I guess I’ll just have one more.

Or maybe two. Yeah. I’ll stop at two.





13

I wake up to the sound of a jackhammer. It’s the loudest, most annoying noise I’ve ever heard. It’s so loud it actually makes me sick—my stomach turns over a few times, nausea creeping like sickly strands of ivy up my throat.

It takes me a few seconds to realize that the deafening pounding is actually in my head and not coming from outside at all. And I feel sick because I’m drunk.

Groaning softly, I try to get my bearings. When I do, my stomach churns even harder.

Jay is lying beside me.

I fight through my queasiness and try to focus. The room is dark, but there are no curtains on the window and moonlight is streaming in. We’re on a double bed, with about three feet of space between us. He’s snoring softly. We’re both fully clothed.

I almost keel over with relief. I’m still dressed. Oh, thank God. I quickly look around the small bedroom and find no signs that at one point I may have undressed. The bedspread is still on the bed, only slightly rumpled from me and Jay lying on it. There are no empty condom wrappers or pieces of underwear scattered on the floor.

Still, that doesn’t mean something didn’t happen. Maybe we got dressed right afterward. Maybe—I almost throw up again—maybe we didn’t use protection.

Tears flood my eyes. Oh my God. At least with Chase last week, I was completely sober. I knew what I was doing. Just because I regretted it afterward doesn’t mean I was coerced or forced into it. I wanted to have sex that night.

This time...