One Small Thing(29)

He used to live in this neighborhood, I suddenly remember. That’s what someone at school said, that Chase’s mom lived in Lincoln before she married the mayor of Darling. He would’ve spent all his summers here.

“Manson? There’s no one here by that name.” A tall, built boy climbs up the deck stairs. “Who’re you?”

Jeff ignores the question and keeps talking. “Charles Donnelley is right over there. He killed Beth’s sister three years ago and he just got out of prison. Isn’t that right, Manson?”

I flush all over. If a house could fall on me right this minute, I’d be happy. Instead, I watch as everyone swivels toward Chase. Again, because of me, he’s the subject of unwanted attention.

I guess this is why I can’t hate him. The rest of the world does it for me.

I open my mouth to explain, but the boy on the stairs speaks first.

“Dude, we already knew that. Why do you think we’re having this party in the first place? It’s Chase’s welcome-home bash.” He finishes climbing the steps until he’s practically toe-to-toe with Jeff. “And you’re ruining our vibe, so why don’t you and your girl here show yourselves to the door.”

“Like I’d want to hang out with losers like you.” Jeff grabs my arm. “We’re going. It stinks in here anyway. I’ve crapped in toilets nicer than this place.”

The boy steps closer to us.

“We’re sorry,” I say hurriedly. “We’ll be going now.”

This time it’s me grabbing Jeff’s arm and pulling. Jeff doesn’t balk, but he does complain, “Why’d you say I was sorry? I’m not sorry. These guys are assholes. Who throws a welcome-home party for a killer? No one but a bunch of lowlifes.”

“Jeff, there’s like thirty of them and two of us,” I hiss. “Can you shut up before we get destroyed?”

He jerks out of my grip. “Whose side are you on?”

“What are you talking about?”

We reach the sidewalk and he pins me with a glare that chills my bare arms. “I’m asking you why you’re always defending Manson.” His voice is low.

Guilt makes me defensive. “I’m not always defending him. I did it once and that’s because you were all giving me a headache. I’m tired of hearing about him.”

“Then you should go to the principal’s office and get him kicked out.”

“No. I don’t want to do that.” But hadn’t I thought about that on the ride over? About how much easier my life would be if I didn’t have to deal with Chase every day?

Jeff shakes his head and walks to the driver’s side. “I don’t get you,” he says over the roof of his car. “Manson is bad news. It’s fucking disgusting to have you and him in the same school let alone the same classes. Besides—” he points to the front door of the house “—look at the trash he hangs out with. That doesn’t belong at Darling. You’re the only one who can get him expelled.”

“That’s not true.”

“You’re her sister.” His features harden. “Rach wouldn’t want her little sister going to the same school as her killer.”

Hearing him use her nickname hurts my heart. “Rachel is gone,” I say shakily.

Anger flashes in his eyes. “If you won’t do it for your own sake, what about me?”

“I...”

“You think it’s easy for me to see him every day? He took away the most important person in my life. Rachel was it for me.”

His passionate declaration doesn’t fully sit with me. Jeff and Rachel were sixteen when they were going out—that feels a bit too young for Jeff to know that they were it. And even if they were each other’s soul mates, I don’t know how to explain to Jeff that getting Chase kicked out of Darling feels all kinds of wrong. If it happens, I’m not going to complain, I guess, but I’m not actively going to campaign for it.

“Well?” Jeff prompts.

“It doesn’t feel right,” I say.

He snorts. “Fine. Maybe you need to think about it some more.” He opens his car door and gets in and, before I can respond, he speeds off, leaving me choking in his exhaust.

“Jeff! Jeff!”

I sprint after him. There’s a stop sign ahead. I’ll catch him there. I run faster, but Jeff doesn’t even stop. He guns the car around the corner and by the time I reach the intersection, his taillights are a half mile away.

“You asshole!” I scream after him.

I can’t believe he left me here. I don’t even have a phone!

I jab my fingers in my hair, trying not to panic. What am I supposed to do now? Is he going to come back for me? I heave a shaky sigh and sink down into a crouch.

There’s something wrong with me. Clearly. Jeff is more torn up being around Chase than I am. Rachel’s my sister. Jeff dated her for less than a year. But he can’t stand to be around Chase. Me, I’m sticking up for him, just like Jeff accused.

And the thing is, I feel guilty that I don’t defend him more.

I don’t know what’s going on with me anymore. I’m so confused. About everything. I have no direction. No career goals. No passion. No ride home.

I’m sitting on the sidewalk in another town where I don’t know anyone but the guy who killed my sister. And worse, he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.