Kissing Ted Callahan (and Other Guys)(52)

“At least you got to second-and-a-half base?”

“Shut up, Ri.”

It puts me way closer to crying.

“I’ll call you or email or something.”

“Okay,” I say. “Reid, I’m—”

“Whatever.”

He walks off, so I sit there and finish my hot cocoa and try not to cry. I would text Ted but he’s interning, and also I feel strange going to Ted for comfort when a bunch of this is about him.

All of this makes me want to barf, so I toss out my half-empty cocoa and head out. At home Ashley and her friends are making too much noise in the living room while Dad grades tests in the kitchen, so I escape to the guesthouse. I try to bang out every horrible fear that’s in me, but I don’t feel any better.

*

“I have a plan,” Reid says, barely looking at me. He came over after dinner but I know that doesn’t mean we’re already okay. “Let’s just be honest with everyone.”

I’m not sure if this is his real plan or if he’s just trying to make use of dramatic irony. “What do you mean?”

“I’m going to tell Madison what’s in there,” he says, looking sure of himself. “And Jane and Jennie and Erika.”

I miss this Reid, actually.

“If we tell everyone involved what’s in there, nothing worse can happen, right?” he asks.

Reid has a good point. One day of walking through school waiting for this mystery villain to appear was more than enough. I’m ready for whatever’s next.





CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE


The Passenger Manifest is officially gone, and my life as I know it is probably over forever.





CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX


When I think about it, the easiest person to tell about the Passenger Manifest is Garrick.

We’ve already officially ended things, and anything I wrote about him was exceptionally complimentary. Okay, he did tell me not to mention that he had sex with Sydney—and I did—but besides that I doubt he’ll be too upset.

“Hi, Riley.” Garrick opens his door after school. “Syd is over, but you said you needed to talk, so… we can sit out here.”

“Oh, okay.” I take a seat on the front steps. I want to peek through the windows to see if I can spot Sydney Jacobs being adorable, but that’d be creepy.

I outline the gist of the Passenger Manifest to Garrick. He blinks in surprise a few times, but he nods and keeps listening.

“So there’s definitely stuff about you in it,” I continue. “Mostly that you’re freaking awesome at everything to do with making out.”

Garrick grins, but kind of like that’s old news. “Thanks.”

“It probably sucks for you that whoever has it knows that happened.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Why would that suck for me?”

“Just, you know, Sydney’s… and I’m…”

“My therapist said this would happen!”

“What did she say would happen?” I ask. “A weird stupid girl would write about you in a notebook?”

“You’re not weird and stupid,” he says. “Well, you’re not stupid. She said—it might not be easy for people—for girls to know I went out with Syd.” He shrugs. “Because, you know.”

“She’s beautiful and talented and perfect?”

“Famous is what I was going to say! You’re beautiful and talented, too, and she isn’t perfect.” GARRICK IS SO NICE. “For a while I hoped something would happen with you. I just can’t help how I feel about Syd.”

“Trust me,” I say, “I understand. I’m totally falling in love with someone, too.”

“Thanks for telling me about the book,” he says. “But it’s okay.”

“I should say the rest of it. I wrote about that you did it with Sydney in the book, and I know you swore me to secrecy, but…”

He sighs. “I really hope that doesn’t get out, just because she worries about her reputation and stuff, since her fans are so young and their parents get weird about stuff—but, okay. Fine.”

“Are you mad?” I ask. “You can hate me if you want.”

“I don’t hate you,” he says. “It sucks, and I don’t get why you did this whole thing. But in chemistry you always forget to take down full notes when we’re doing experiments. I’m impressed you managed on this.”

“You can quit being my chemistry partner if you need to.”

“I have fun with you,” he says. “Though you should take better notes. And never do something like this again.”

“I promise I won’t.” I don’t say anything about taking better notes because that seems like more of a distant dream.

“Also can I guess who you’re in love with?”

“If you want,” I say, my heart pounding like my bass drum.

“Ted Callahan?”

“Ted Callahan,” I confirm.

“That guy’s great,” he says. “I’m glad it’s someone great.”

OH MY GOD, GARRICK IS SO AMAZING.

I give him a huge hug, and he asks me if I want to go inside and meet Sydney. I do, but I act cool about it and say I’ll meet her soon and I’m happy for him.