Haunted(57)

“I don’t know, but you need to watch those men with accents. Women give a guy three bonus points for a foreign accent.”

“What?” I had no idea what Berg was talking about.

“If a girl thinks a guy is a seven, then finds out he has an accent, he goes up to a ten.”

I guessed I understood that.

“Well crap, Beth wants to go to that awards dinner next month because she wants to meet Charlie Hunnan, that guy from Sons of Anarchy. Isn’t he really British?” I needed to get over this jealousy thing.

“Yep, I think he is. That would make him what, a twelve?”

I punched Berg’s arm. “I’m not worried. Beth loves me. She just wants to meet him.”

“That’s funny,” Berg said.

“What’s funny?” I asked.

“I bet that is what Eric thought when Beth went to meet you backstage.”

Motherf*cker! He is right.

I popped him on the head.

“What did I do? I just told the truth,” Berg whined.

“Berg, you just put a bunch of pictures into my head that I didn’t need in there, damn it!”

“Maybe his accent is kind of like Beth’s.”

I looked at him with a questioning look on my face.

“Okay, Beth and her cute little country accent. It’s not sexy but it is adorable.”

I thought the country accent was sexy. Berg thought of Beth like a sister, so I was sure that was why he found it only cute. I knew Eve was originally from Texas, and her accent was a bit different. Maybe that was the accent he was comparing Beth’s to?

“Are you saying my wife isn’t hot?” I was f*cking with Berg. I couldn’t help it.

“No, Beth looks kind of smoking tonight and her boobs…” Berg did a motion with his hands, indicating a big rack.

My eyebrow went up in a questioning manner.

“Now Eve, I have done nothing but imagined her on her knees in front of me while I hold on to those pink pigtails.” He groaned.

I laughed at Berg. He had it bad for Eve. “Just tell her how you f*cking feel, Berg.”

“It’s just she is dating that Seth guy, and I am starting to believe she made him up to avoid me. Have you ever met him?”

“Nope, but he is coming tonight.”

“It’s just…if I get with Eve, I think that will be it and that scares the shit out of me. Am I ready for that?”

“Been there my friend. Honestly, you’ll just know.”

“Huh. We should probably go back inside and party.” Berg slapped my back. “Are you bummed that Beth and I are not going to be able to do our dance routine due to our injuries?”

I laughed. “You mean the routine that Ross and Monica do on Friends?”

“Hey, how did you know?” Berg’s expression looked serious.

“I caught you and Beth practicing it about a month ago before Andrew stabbed you. You two were so freaking hilarious!” I laughed.

“Sneaky bastard. So what did you think?” Berg became serious as though he was thinking about starting a dancing career.

“I thought Beth was flawless, but you, well, maybe if I was you I would practice a bit more before next year’s party.”

“Ass munch!” Berg sounded hurt.

I better make him feel better. “Seriously, you two were f*cking cute! I love that you and Beth are so close. I feel kind of lucky in that aspect. How many wives love the best friend?”

“Well, I love her back, you know. She is the best thing that has ever happened to you.”

“Well, when you marry Eve, we can double date and go on family vacations together,” I teased Berg. He turned pale at first when I said it, but then something weird happened in his eyes. He looked as though that wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Who knew with Berg?

“I need to find Beth. I feel like I need to talk to her. Make sure she is okay after the whole Candy thing.”

“You go make it right, bud! Beth is stronger than you know.”

I turned to Berg. I felt as though this was a dèjá vu or something. I remembered hearing these words before. Oh well…time to find my wife.



Chapter 44 – Beth



Phoebe, Eve, and I were sitting out by the pool.

“I can’t believe that Candy bitch!” Eve muttered. Poor Eve. I thought it hit her like a ton of bricks that she had feelings for Berg.

“Eve, she is just a groupie. Nothing more. It is no different than us using a vibrator to get off,” I spoke, trying to convince myself of what I was telling her. I had to admit it hurt, but Roman didn’t even act as though he really knew her before the fight. I thought if he had feelings about her, he would have been stealing glances at her.

“Except we don’t get Herpes from our vibrators,” Phoebe offered up as she let out a puff of smoke. “I can’t believe that douche brought her. Men are so f*cking stupid!”

“I agree,” Roman’s voice came from the doorway.

We all turned to look at him.

“Beth, can I talk to you for a minute?” Roman’s voice was low, sounding as though he felt remorseful.

“Sure.” I snubbed out my cigarette and stood. I grabbed the bottle of anti-bacterial gel on the table and squirted my hands and rubbed them together. Then I grabbed my body spray and covered myself.