Haunted(38)

“Thank you.” I looked at Berg.

“For what, learning this weird dance with you? Sadly, I have to admit I am having a ball. You know, Beth, Roman is my family.” His voice hitched a little. “Him finding you, him loving you, automatically makes you my family. I just didn’t expect that you would be as great as you are.”

“Great? I don’t understand.”

“When Roman told me that he was in love and that he wanted to marry you, I thought that I would lose him to you. Instead, you embraced me. You make me feel like I’m a part of the family. I didn’t think that any woman would be that unselfish. The women that we meet in our line of work would have never shared him. Even though I know being kidnapped was one of the worst things that happened to you, strangely it was one of the best things that ever happened to Roman. He grew up. He learned how to love a woman and to put her before anyone else. I am so proud of the man Roman has become. I owe that to you.”

I hugged Berg and patted his back.

“Berg, what about your family? Where are they?”

“Ah, are we going to go there today? Well, I never knew who my dad was. Hell, I don’t think my mom knew who he was. See my mom was an alcoholic. We happened to live on the same street as Roman and his parents. Roman and I played together as children. I suspected that Roman’s parents figured out that my mom had a problem. I am not quite sure how they knew but they did. I found myself at Roman’s house more than my own. One day Roman and I were playing in the backyard and a furniture truck drove up to Roman’s house. We were kids, and we didn’t give a lot of thought to it, so we just continued to play as children do. It wasn’t until supper came around and Roman’s parents asked me to stay for dinner.

“I felt awkward about it because no one had ever asked me to stay before. I told them I did not know if my mom would let me. So Mrs. Reed walked to my home and asked my mom if I could stay for dinner. To this day, I am really not sure what was said between them. Mrs. Reed came back and made Roman and I wash our hands, and we sat down for dinner. It was the first time I ever sat down to a table to eat as a family.

“Anyway Mrs. Reed then told me that I would be spending the night. Roman and I were thrilled. When we walked into his room, we were confused because Roman’s bed had been replaced with bunk beds that very day.

“I spent most of my nights at Roman’s house after that night. Mr. and Mrs. Reed pretty much raised me. A couple years had passed, and one day I came home from school and found my mom dead on the couch. She died of alcohol poisoning.”

“Oh Berg.” I reached out and grabbed his hand.

“I felt like it was my fault, because I wasn’t there to stop her from drinking so much. That guilt stayed with me for years. I’d guess you can imagine the rest. Mr. and Mrs. Reed adopted me, and Roman and I grew up practically brothers.” Berg looked away.

I leaned over and hugged him.

“Beth, speaking of brothers, what happened to Joe? I know he was your brother, but you never talk about him.”

“He died.” I didn’t want to talk about it, but Berg wasn’t going to let me off so easy.

“You never told me how he died.” He waited.

I paused. I always hated this part, people wanting to know how Joe died.

“Erotic asphyxiation.”

“Oh f*ck. I am sorry.” Berg looked away somewhat embarrassed like everyone did when they found out.

I nodded. “My Dad found him about ten days after he passed. It was bad, real bad Berg. His body started decaying.” I could tell Berg knew I felt uncomfortable, but I felt like I needed to talk about it for some reason since I was never allowed to before. “I’m not ashamed of the way he died, because we all have sexual quirks, but my parents didn’t want anyone to know why he died so we didn’t tell anyone. Everyone assumed that he killed himself.” Berg hugged me, really hugged me. I let some tears fall. Joe was my brother and I missed him.

“We all knew Joe was bipolar except for Joe.” I continued. “I don’t think he believed he was even though the doctor told him otherwise. When he was depressed, he slept all day and stayed up all night so he didn’t have to be around people. When he was happy, he was extremely happy. He used to be a stand-up comedian, ya know?” I smiled.

“He was my big brother and I was proud of him. I will never forget the day I got the call. My aunt was actually the one to call me. My dad had found Joe, but at the time, my dad hated me…so he got my aunt to call. You could never cross my dad. He could hold a grudge like no other. Anyway, I remember when she told me, the room started spinning. I had this sense of…how could this be real? I fell to the floor and cried harder than I had ever cried in my life. You are prepared that one day you will lose your parents, but you never think of your brother or at least I didn’t. The funeral was hell because everyone was curious how he died and we kept telling everyone that the police didn’t know yet.

“After that, I went into a huge depression. Before Joe died he was getting ready to go off and do some missionary work, because he was real religious. I just didn’t understand why God would let Joe die. I mean, why not me? He did so much more good in this world than I did, but God took him. I never did anything great. That was when I stopped believing in God. I think looking back…I grieve my relationship with God more than I do with Joe. I mean…you get use to him being dead, but God…he’s always there. You see him when you look at a church. You see him in the miracle of your child.”