Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating(68)
“Thanks, Nik.” I shoot her a smile. She clutches my hands in hers tightly, and the warmth of the touch sends warmth throughout my whole body. I can’t remember the last time Nik and I spoke like this. I don’t think we ever have.
It’s kind of nice to have an older sister looking out for you.
chapter thirty-nine
hani
THE NEXT FEW DAYS OF SCHOOL DRAG BY SLOWLY, BUT at home everything is a rush. The election is only a few days away and it feels like there’s so much to do, and not enough time to do it. Abba goes to the mosque almost every day, praying shoulder-to-shoulder with the Muslims in the community before trying to smoothly convince them to vote for him.
I tag along with him whenever he goes, carrying a stack of his flyers as I stumble into the women’s balcony all by myself.
The good thing about the rush of Abba’s election is that it doesn’t really give me a lot of time to think about Aisling and Dee and … Ishu. It’s been days since I’ve spoken to any of them, even though I keep picking up the phone to text Ishu about every little thing. But I know it isn’t right. I can’t reach out to her when I haven’t figured out where I stand. When I’m not sure if I can make up for the things that Aisling has done. When I don’t even have the guts to call Aisling out for what she’s done.
I’ve been avoiding Aisling and Dee like the plague too. That’s been a little difficult since we share almost every single class together and usually spend our lunches together. But I’ve changed seats in all our classes, sitting toward the front where I can feel Aisling and Dee’s disapproving frowns. And during lunchtime I sneak outside, toward the front of the school. I sit with my back against the trunk of a tree and eat my lunch alone, trying to forget about the fact that in the past few weeks it seems that everything in my life has shifted. And I don’t know how to make things better.
On Friday afternoon, I come home to find Abba in the sitting room with his head buried in his hands. Amma is sitting beside him, her hands moving in soothing circles on his shoulders.
I shut the front door behind me as softly as I can, but both of them look up at the click of it. Amma puts on her usual smile, and Abba contorts his expression into something that’s definitely supposed to reassure—but doesn’t. A smile that looks more like a grimace.
“Is everything okay?” I ask. I can’t imagine what would lead to Abba being upset—unless something has already come out about the election.
“Everything is fine.” Amma smiles, but I must not look convinced because the next moment Amma and Abba share a look between them.
“Your Abba is just a little stressed about what tomorrow is going to be like,” she finally says with a sigh. “But … we’ve done all that we can.” She looks pointedly at Abba as she says this.
Abba sits back and heaves a sigh. He doesn’t seem convinced by Amma’s words either but he nods and repeats, “We’ve done all that we can.”
The words open up a pit in my stomach. Have we done all that we can? I never told Abba about how I skipped out on canvassing the other day. How Aisling and Dee convinced me to go into town and celebrate with their boyfriends instead. I’ve been so caught up with Aisling, Dee, and Ishu that for so much of this election, I’ve neglected Abba and what I should have been doing for him.
Amma stands up and claps her hands together. “There’s no point sitting around stressing about what may or may not happen tomorrow. How about I make us all a nice dinner?”
Abba nods in agreement, and Amma drifts off into the kitchen. I can tell that Abba doesn’t really feel much better about everything, though.
I squeeze into the sofa next to him, even though I’m still wearing my school uniform.
“Something happened to make you stressed out now, didn’t it?” I ask slowly.
Abba heaves a sigh. “We got some poll results that … don’t look very positive.”
“Poll results are wrong a lot of the time,” I point out. “Things can still turn around.”
Abba turns to me with a smile. “Your Amma tells me that you’ve been dealing with a few things yourself.”
I shift around uncomfortably on the couch for a moment. The last thing I want to do is unload all of my problems onto Abba the day before his big election. “I’m fine.”
“Hani … you know you can always talk to me about anything at any time,” he says. “Your Amma … she’s been a little worried about you.”
“And she’s been worried about you,” I say.
His smile widens. “So, if we help each other out, maybe your Amma will worry a lot less.”
Slowly, I fill Abba in on everything that’s been going on with Aisling, Dee, and Ishu. “I know that I need to do something to make it up to Ishu for everything that I’ve done, but … I don’t know how to apologize to her. Not when I can’t even really confront Aisling or Dee. I don’t know how to … make things right with anyone.”
Abba looks at me thoughtfully for a moment. “If you were Ishu in this situation, what would make things better?”
I have to think about that for a few minutes. It’s not exactly easy to place myself into Ishu’s headspace. We’re so different. When I think of her now, all I can think of is that day she was sitting outside our door, looking small and broken. “I think I would just want to know that … someone I considered my friend didn’t think the worst of me.”