Four Doors Down(55)
She snorts. “Oh come on, I’m ambitious, not delusional.” A sly look crosses her face. “Besides from what I’ve heard there’s only one person—”
“Stop!” I interrupt her. “I am so sick of hearing about Ryan Jackson! I don’t care who his latest hook up is.”
She shrugs. “Y’know, Becca, I don’t know what your problem is with him. He’s actually a really nice guy.”
I whirl on her. What is going on here? She’s my friend, not his. She’s probably only had two conversations with the guy her whole life. “You don’t know him, Erica. I do.” I pause, flustered. “I mean, I did.” I look over at Sam. “Look you didn’t go to our middle school. We were friends, okay? Best friends. We were always together, and then one day he just decided I was too much of a loser for him to be seen with and dropped me. That was it. He was this cool, popular guy now and was too good to be seen with me. Then when I was a freshman? He treated me like shit and let Billy Jameson bet on taking my virginity!”
I take a deep breath following my outburst. I can feel my neck getting warm and for some reason, I can feel tears building in my eyes. What is wrong with me? Thinking about that day back in middle school always riles me and makes me annoyed but never upset. I guess it’s because it feels like I constantly have to defend myself where Ryan’s concerned these days. I’m so over it.
“That’s right, isn’t it, Sam?” I say turning to her for clarification. She’s watching me carefully, like she thinks there’s more to what I’m saying.
She nods slightly in Erica’s direction. “Yeah, he was a jerk.”
“Still think he’s a nice guy?” I demand.
Erica is looking at me in sympathy now, which is annoying me even further. “Maybe he’s changed?”
“I don’t care,” I insist. “I’ve barely spoken to him in years, and now he’s everywhere I turn.”
“Okay, I’ll drop it. But think about this party, okay? I had no idea you were so in with that crowd. You are my key to popularity and you would be a very bad friend if you didn’t help me out.”
I roll my eyes in annoyance. How on earth am I her key to her popularity? I’m friends with Jake—that’s it. And she already knew that, but I don’t say anything else. I don’t want to set her off again.
“Becca!” I turn around and try to stop from sighing when I see Jake walking toward me. I really could do without this right now. “Hey, guys,” he says as he approaches.
Erica’s face lights up. “Hey, Jake!” she says enthusiastically. He frowns slightly at her, clearly surprised at how happy she looks.
I sigh. “She wants to hook up with Mason,” I explain. “Can you help?”
Erica looks mortified, but Jake just shrugs. “Sure, just come over next time I’m with him,” he says. Erica goes from mortified to delighted and opens her mouth to say something when Jake jumps in. “I need to talk to you,” he says directly to me.
Sam takes the hint and drags Erica away, leaving me with Jake.
“Unless this is about how you can help me get my grade up in Science, I don’t care,” I say, turning to face him.
He smiles at me. “You’ve been avoiding me,” he states matter-of-factly.
I sigh. “It’s not you,” I mutter.
“You’re avoiding Ryan.”
I look away before turning back to him and nodding in agreement. “I don’t know what it is lately, he just seems to be everywhere. I don’t know why we can’t go back to just not speaking like before.”
“Come on, Becca. You wouldn’t want that.”
“He can’t keep bitching about Charlie. It’s not fair. It’s got nothing to do with him.”
“I know. I’ve told him. It’s only because he cares.”
I scoff in disbelief.
“I know he hates fighting with you, Becca.”
“Well, he does a pretty good job of hiding it.”
“You guys need to talk.”
“No, we don’t! Honestly, I need to not talk to him, that’s what I need to do.”
“You guys were so close.”
“Oh for God’s sake, Jake. That was years ago and you know what he did! You were there! He became too good for me. I was too much of a loser and he ditched me and let Billy Jameson bet on me.”
“I’ve told you a million times that he had nothing to do with that.”
“He still ditched me because he was too good to be seen with me.”
“Tell me you don’t actually believe that, Becca. From what I can see, it’s always Ryan that’s trying to initiate conversation with you, and I know for a fact he couldn’t give a damn who sees you with him.” I’m about to retaliate but realize he’s actually right. Ryan is the one who talks to me lately and tries to draw me into conversation, regardless of who’s there. In fact, sometimes I’ve even got the impression that he’d rather be talking to me than some of his other friends.
No.
I’m not going to let myself become friends with him again. I have enough friends and God knows he does. Besides, our recent arguments only prove that a friendship between us wouldn’t work.