For Real(14)

Charlotte looks confused. “Sorry, I’m not sure I understand. How will being on Around the World allow you to get revenge on your ex-boyfriend?”

“Well, here’s the thing,” I say. I’m starting to calm down a little, and I want to give this talking thing another shot. “We’re pretty sure you know Miranda’s ex-boyfriend.”

“His name is Samir Singh,” she cuts in before I can screw up the punch line. “He’s a contestant on your show.”

Charlotte’s and Jim’s eyes widen simultaneously, like it’s a choreographed dance. They look at each other behind the camera and exchange a series of barely discernible nods. “Get Keith in here,” Charlotte calls to the production assistant. “He’s going to want to see this.” The PA nods his shellacked head and leaves the room.

When he’s gone, Jim says, “How do you know about Samir’s participation in the race? If he broke the nondisclosure agreement, that’s a serious violation.”

For a second, I’m afraid this might be enough to get Samir kicked off the show—that would be pretty good revenge in and of itself, but nobody would get to see us humiliate him. Fortunately, Miranda just shrugs. “He never explicitly told me anything, but I knew he was auditioning, and now he’s suddenly going to be gone for a month. It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together.”

This seems to satisfy Jim. “And why did you choose Claire to be your partner for the race?”

I’m about to say, “The whole thing was my idea, actually,” but Miranda chimes in first. “Claire’s completely obsessed with reality TV. You wouldn’t believe how much time she spends watching it, and she remembers everything she sees—she has an amazing mind for trivia. She may not be your typical charismatic contestant, but I think it’ll be good to have a partner with that kind of encyclopedic knowledge.”

That isn’t how I expected her to spin things, and I feel a stab of disappointment. Of course my store of TV trivia will come in handy, but I had hoped Miranda wanted me on the race with her because of who I am, not what I know.

Before I can respond, the PA comes back with a bearded man in a gray suit who’s carrying a cell phone in each hand. “Hold on, okay?” he says into one of them. Then, to Charlotte and Jim: “Make it quick. I’ve got a location scout on hold.”

“Keith,” Charlotte says, “I’d like you to meet Miranda Henderson, Samir Singh’s ex-girlfriend.” She doesn’t introduce me, which seems unfair.

Keith looks Miranda up and down, like she’s a show pony he’s thinking about buying, then turns and addresses Charlotte like we’re not even here. “Our Samir Singh?”

“That’s right.”

“Ex-girlfriend? Not girlfriend?”

“Yes, ex-girlfriend.”

“Recent breakup?”

“Three days ago.”

“Amicable?”

“No.”

“I hate Samir,” Miranda pipes up. “I swear, I’ll do anything to keep him from winning a million dollars.” It’s exactly the right thing to say. I shoot her a smile that says you’re doing great, but she doesn’t seem to notice.

Keith nods slowly. “Love it,” he says to Charlotte. “Good find.” Then he puts one of the phones back to his ear and leaves the room. “Where is the damn permit?” I hear him bark as the door shuts behind him. “The goats are nonnegotiable.”

“Keith Childs, one of our producers,” Charlotte explains.

“He’s a little ray of sunshine,” Jim adds, totally deadpan, and I giggle before I can help myself.

“So, Miranda and Claire, you’ve got a compelling reason for being here,” Charlotte says. “We obviously like your story. But we need to know if you’re serious about the race in addition to the revenge. It’s pretty challenging, both physically and mentally. Are you up for the adventure?”

“Definitely,” Miranda says. “I have tons of travel experience, and I’ve dealt with some pretty crazy stuff abroad. And Claire … well, she tends to play things a little safer, but I’m prepared to help her through and teach her everything I know.”

I feel my face going hot. For a minute, I struggle to think up a response other than I’m the only reason you’re even here. Why are you treating me like I’m five? But I can’t fight with my sister in front of Charlotte and Jim—we have to present a united front or they might think we’re problematic.

I finally find my voice again. “Fortunately, it, um, works both ways,” I say. “I’ve watched a lot of shows like Culture Shock and Supersonic Safari, so I’m the one who understands how the strategy of a race works. I have a lot to teach Miranda, too.” For example, don’t throw your partner under the bus in front of the casting team.

“Well, good,” Jim says. “You’re both bringing unique strengths to the table. That’s important.”

“That’s all we have time for right now, but we’d love to have you fill out some more extensive paperwork,” Charlotte says. “Can you stick around for a little while?”

“Absolutely,” I say. “We’d love to.”

“It was really good to meet you,” Miranda says. “We hope to see more of you soon.”