Burn Before Reading(87)

I swallowed, blinking furiously to clear my eyes.

“I’ve never had as much fun…as I had being enemies with you!”

The horn kept blaring. They didn’t hear me. Nothing I could say mattered, now. It was petty and childish to keep them from leaving. I stepped aside, watching the cement as they peeled away. I didn’t deserve to watch them leave. So I watched the ground, instead, and the dark, round spots of water that dripped from my cheekbones and left imprints there.

When the convertible was long gone, and my fingers and toes started going numb from the cold, Mr. Blackthorn came out. I heard his slow, even clapping, like he’d just watched a play.

“Delightful, Miss Cruz. I’ve never seen someone offered everything good throw it away as readily as you. Not only did you manage to lose your scholarship tonight, but you also managed to make the three boys - who perhaps trusted you the most of any woman since their mother passed – hate you. I’m astounded at your multitasking skill.”

I couldn’t say anything. My throat was raw and hoarse, my body was freezing. Everything was wrong, and cold, and painful.

“You are dismissed,” Mr. Blackthorn sniffed when I didn’t answer. “You may come to Lakecrest one last time, next week Monday, to fetch your things from your locker and return your uniform. I expect it washed and pressed. Farewell, Miss Cruz, and I wish you luck in your future endeavors.”

The heartless click of his shoes on the pavement dimmed, until all that was left was the sound of my own broken heartbeat.





Chapter 15


WOLF


“I can’t believe it!” Fitz bawls. “She – She was working for Dad the whole time? I thought – I thought I’d see it coming, but not her! Anybody but Bee!”

Burn is deathly quiet, but his knuckles on the steering wheel are ghost-white. Fitz sniffs wetly, burying his face in his hands.

And I watch the trees flash by.

I’m so numb I feel like I’ve been shot up with Novocain all over. I can’t feel the wind on my face, or the seat beneath me. I can’t smell anything – not the night air, not the exhaust of the convertible. Everything is muted and senseless, a harsh, buzzing static ricocheting in my ears.

She betrayed us.

She betrayed me.

“We should’ve known better,” I say. Burn looks up at me in the rearview mirror. “After Kristin we should’ve known Dad would try the same trick twice, but with a better liar.”

“Wolf - ” Burn starts.

“She’s probably reported everything to him,” I interrupt him. “Your drugs and hacking included, Fitz.”

“You’re being awfully cold about this!” Fitz sniffs and glares at me. “I thought you like her!”

I ignore the burning in my stomach. “Liked. Past tense.”

“That simple, huh?” Burn asks.

“She betrayed us,” I snarl at him.

“And I’m just as pissed about it as you are,” Burn agrees. “But maybe she had her reasons.”

“What reasons? There’s no reason good enough to fake being our friend, to fake being nice to us, to fake smile and fake laugh and –”

All I can think about is the feeling of her stroking my hair, and I hate it. I recoil at it, at the fact it wasn’t real affection. It wasn’t real warmth, and I was an idiot for thinking it was. Fitz explodes suddenly.

“You were the one who threatened to take her scholarship in the first place, Wolf!”

“So you’re blaming me? Me, instead of the person who really deserves it?”

“You did try to take her scholarship,” Burn says. “You know how much it means to her.”

“Yeah,” Fitz interjects. “That was her ticket to NYU. And you tried to screw it!”

“She didn’t deserve to be here,” I snap. “She didn’t deserve to be here, working her ass off for someone else’s mental health! What about her own? What about her own goals and dreams? She wanted to write, you know. Her essay said she wanted to be a writer, to go to school for writing, but she gave it all up for her Dad. What kind of life is that? I wasn’t going to stand around and let her do that to herself!”

“So you threatened to take it all away,” Burn muttered. “And Dad offered it all back, in exchange for spying on us.”

“I’d take it,” Fitz says immediately, wiping his eyes. “If I was her…I’d take that deal, too.”

“So that’s it? All of a sudden I’m the bad guy?”

“You forced her into a corner, Wolf,” Burn says.

“What about you two? You told me she’d been running with you every morning. You think she did that because she likes it? She did it because Dad told her to.”

Burn’s silent, eyes narrow. I point at Fitz.

“You think she was actually failing her History class? You think she actually needed you to tutor her?”

“We had fun,” Fitz defends sullenly.

“Yeah, because she planned it that way,” I insist. “Everything down to the last laugh was planned by her, to get on your good side. Our good side. Every secret we told her went straight to Dad. Everything we did with her went straight to Dad.”

They’re silent. The car ride feels so long and torturous, like I’m sitting in an iron maiden with the lid closed instead of a car. When we’re finally home, Fitz and I retreat to our rooms. And like always, Burn puts his shoes on so he can go for a run, somewhere far away from us; somewhere he doesn’t have to deal with our emotions.