An Uncertain Choice(46)

I wanted to whisper to Derrick that he had nothing to worry about, that he’d already won my heart. But the words stuck in my throat. He deserved much more than my platitudes. I couldn’t lead him on in any way. I couldn’t tell him those words until I knew for certain they were true.

Surely after tomorrow, after more time in the presence of the other two men, I would know. And then I would be able to decide who was the right man for me.





Chapter

17




The next morning, Sir Collin held an archery contest in my honor. I quickly realized he was as skilled with the bow and arrow as Derrick was with a lance and halberd. Although I was impressed by the display of his skill, I found that the contest was not nearly as exciting as the jousting tournament the previous day.

When Sir Collin stood behind me and put his hands on mine to give me tips on archery skills, I found that his touch failed to elicit the same reaction Derrick’s had the previous evening when he’d held my hand. I also had been unable to keep my attention from drifting to the sidelines, where Derrick stood. My heart had pattered faster at the glimpse of jealousy that had clouded his face when Sir Collin had touched me.

I wasn’t too disappointed when Sir Collin’s tent collapsed on him in between events. And although I was concerned about the deep gash he suffered on his head when he’d been hit with one of the poles, I was secretly relieved I didn’t have to pretend to be having a good time any longer.

During the afternoon with Sir Bennet, I was distracted as well. After demonstrating his superior skill with the long sword in a mock fight with one of his squires, he then took me riding. During the leisurely outing, he quoted beautiful poetry to me. But all the while he spoke the verses, I had thoughts of what it might be like if Derrick were the one bestowing the eloquent lines upon me.

Halfway through our ride, Sir Bennet’s horse lost a shoe and tossed him from his saddle. A bruise the size of an egg began to form above his eye, so we made our way back to the castle grounds so his servants could attend him.

Even though I fretted over Sir Collin’s and Sir Bennet’s injuries, I released a happy sigh when the events were finally over. But soon after I changed from my riding outfit, the abbot informed me he believed the mishaps could be part of the murderer’s scheme and had thus called in the sheriff to investigate further. Although I wanted to believe the harm to both knights had been coincidental, I couldn’t deny that something more seemed amiss.

It didn’t help matters that the sheriff singled Derrick out for questioning. I was concerned that perhaps the sheriff would frustrate Derrick. After all, Derrick hadn’t endeared himself to the sheriff by breaking into the man’s estate. I chose to put my worries aside, however, when I received a note from Derrick later saying that he’d finally planned his special day with me for the morrow, and although he couldn’t tell me what the day would entail, he promised it would be special.




I awoke the next morning with an excitement that thrummed through my pulse. I would get to spend an entire day with Derrick, and I couldn’t think of anything more I wanted to do.

“How do I know when I’m in love?” I asked Trudy, who was finishing pinning my veil in place over my braided hair.

“In love?” My nursemaid clucked her tongue and then stepped back to stare at me in the looking glass. “Are you in love with one of the knights, then?”

“I don’t know.” I absently tugged on the edge of the veil. “I think I might be, but how do I know for sure?”

“My lady, I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been in love myself. But surely if you feel it, then it must be so.”

“Is it just a feeling?”

Trudy pursed her lips at the turn of the conversation. She was silent for a moment as she fidgeted with the laces of my bodice. “Heavens, moon, and stars above, I do wish your mother was here to answer your questions. She would know exactly what to tell you. I, on the other hand, know nothing about love.”

“But my parents were deeply in love, weren’t they?” I thought back to the last hunting party I’d gone on with them, the final time I’d seen them together. I could still picture the way they’d held hands when they’d ridden their horses side by side, their fingers laced much the same way Derrick had laced his with mine.

Trudy paused and stared into space as if looking back into the past. A smile hovered on her lips. “They were indeed in love, my lady. The thing I remember most about them was that they truly enjoyed spending time together.”

“What did they like to do?”

“Riding, taking long walks, and reading together in front of the fire.” Her smile widened. “And if they disappeared, I always knew I could find them up on the turret, looking at the stars.”

I warmed at the thought of my parents snuggled together at the top of the tower, stargazing.

“They were always talking, discussing history or other important matters,” Trudy continued. “And whenever your mother talked, your father listened and respected her opinions.”

The way Derrick had included me in his discussions.

“They were there for each other during the difficult times too.” Trudy’s smile turned sad. “I’ve seen difficulties rip other families apart. But not them. Somehow they each had the inner strength the other lacked. They could provide what the other needed.”