A Time for Hope (Lexi, #3)(7)
“Tell him I forbid him to pollute the space with any of his shitty old furniture.” Taylah yelled toward the phone. There was really no need to relay the message, I’m fairly sure people in Brooklyn heard her.
Alex laughed, a genuine throaty laugh. “Tell Taylah, as long as there is a studio I don’t care what obnoxious statement pieces she intends using. Bring me the papers baby, I’ll sign anything you want.”
“I’m heading to the office now,” I couldn’t contain the smile in my voice, “I’ll get legal to give them a once over and then I’ll bring them to you to sign.”
The Escalade continued its stop/start journey along the city grid as we inched our way through traffic. This was good. I had a plan, a direction, a renewed purpose. This had to be a good thing, didn’t it? I hadn’t been excited about anything in weeks. Dr. Hart had warned that now was not the time to make life-altering decisions but my recovery was never going to be typical. Hell, it was hard enough to accept that I needed help, let alone actually being in therapy. I was making progress though and while my demons simmered quietly most of the time, I still needed to feel in control of my own journey.
“He’s very amenable, that husband of yours. I like him. You should definitely keep him. He’s not bad to look at either, which is handy.” Taylah smirked, pleased we’d soon be neighbours again.
“Yeah, he’s a keeper.” The wide stupid grin plastered across my face was hurting my cheeks.
“Look at you all smiley and shit! And not a penis in sight!”
While Taylah’s words had been intended flippantly (clearly there had been no penises around) they’d cut me, deeply. The fact that Alex and I still hadn’t gone down that road was more than just a sensitive issue, it was torture. He was loving and affectionate but I wanted more, craved more. His reasoning was logical; I needed time to heal and it would kill him if he unintentionally triggered memories of the darkness I had endured. My reasoning was just as logical; I needed him to heal. It was never sex between the two of us, the connection we shared made it more and I needed to feel that again. The emotional need had surpassed the physical one so that I could to take back what was stolen from me.
“Hell! Lexi, I’m sorry. Shit. I’ll just shut up.” Taylah noticed the slide of my smile and my lack of witty comeback, reinforcement that the old Lexi had well and truly departed.
“Tay, don’t you dare shut up!” I leaned in closer and whispered, “It’s just been awhile since Alex and I…” There was no need to finish the sentence; it was pretty f*cking obvious.
“But you want to? Right?” Taylah kept her voice low so as not to attract the attention of DarNell or TJ who were thankfully oblivious to our conversation.
“Of course I want to.” Want to? The desire I had went beyond want. I was positive it was the reason I was so wound up. Though I’d pushed the issue once with Alex, all it had gotten me was a crushing rejection. After an emotional and ugly cry in the shower stall, alone, I decided to let it go, at least for now.
The Escalade pulled up in front of the high rise that housed my office space. TJ kept the car idling as DarNell’s feet hit the footpath and cranked open my door.
“Hey TJ, DarNell, can you give us a minute?” Taylah pulled back the door of the Escalade and closed it firmly.
“Sorry ladies but I’m a permanent fixture.” D leveled Taylah with his stare as he hopped back into the front seat.
“Maybe I’ll go feed the meter or something,” TJ volunteered as he stepped out of the car, not wanting to get in on the showdown between D and Tay.
“You can’t go hang with TJ for a couple of minutes so I can talk to my girl here in private?” Taylah pointed to TJ a few feet away.
“I’ve got no interest in your girlie chat so go ahead but I’m staying put.” D affirmed.
“Oh well suit yourself then!” Taylah sighed. “So Lexi you see, I’ve got some crazy vaginal itching. I bet it was those damn antibiotics that did me in, I think I would have rather have lived with the cold instead of this funky smell I’ve got down…”
“Ok! Five minutes!” D ejected himself from the vehicle. “Stay in the car!” He growled as he put distance between himself and any talk of Taylah’s girly parts.
“You really are an evil bitch,” I laughed unable to hide my amusement.
“I’m telling you - vaginas, unless a man is in one he doesn’t want to hear about it!” Taylah giggled.
“So assuming we aren’t going to be discussing your fictitious case of thrush, why the need to clear security detail?” I raised my brow, my interested piqued at Taylah’s rouse.
“We’re going to talk about what you need to do.” Taylah slid her sunglasses down the bridge of her nose.
“What I need to do? Even for you Tay, that’s a little too cryptic.” I had no idea where Taylah was going with this.
“You’re in therapy right? You talk to someone to help you sort through the stuff that happened?” Taylah gave me a cautious smile.
“Well… Yeah… Where are you going with this?” Now I was even further confused as I tried to work out where this conversation was heading.
“Ok, I just wanted to be sure, in case I screw you up. You know, I’m trying to be responsible.” She took a long breath before exhaling slowly.