With This Heart(13)

He’d been laying in it for hardly three minutes, but the sleeping bag already smelled like him; the remnants of his cologne clung to the fabric. I decided I would get it for that reason alone.

“ So do we have any destinations in mind?” he asked as we roamed through aisles, loading up on random items: water bottles, a lantern, and a mini camping kitchen set that stacked together nicely.

“ A few,” I answered, “but I’m also open to random stops. I just have to be in Odessa, Texas at some point.”

“ Sounds good. If I get to choose a stop, I want to go to Marfa.”

“ Marfa?” I asked, shuffling items between my arms as we headed to the register. He stepped in front of me, halting my forward momentum with his hands on my shoulders. His fingers gripped my skin, hitting the thin string of my spaghetti strap. I gulped and stared at his shirt like it was the most interesting thing in the world. That didn’t help because the cotton did a poor job of hiding his body beneath it.

The entire moment lasted less than a few seconds, but the feel of my stomach dropping and my heart speeding to keep up would forever remain with me.

“ It’s a small town way out in west Texas,” he answered, coaxing me back into the land of the living.

I nodded, trying to think if I had ever heard of it. “Is there a reason why you want to go there?”

“ It’s a secret,” he smirked as we moved to wait in line.

“ That’s where the cult is, isn’t it?”

It was his turn to give me a pointed stare.

I was positioned first in line at the checkout, but when it came time for me to pay, Beck cut in. “Oh, I’m a member here. Let me pay with my card so I get the points. You can just pay me back.”

It seemed reasonable, so I let him pay without thinking much of it, but as we walked out with our purchases, I flitted my eyes over to him. “I don’t have enough cash on me, but I can run to an ATM really quick.”

“ Nah,” he said, holding the door open for a woman entering behind us. “We’re even.”

I scoffed and shook my head. “Beck, that was really expensive and we aren’t even friends. I can’t accept this stuff.”

“ We’ll figure it out on the road trip— don’t worry. And yes, by the way, we are now officially friends, Abby Mae McAllister,” he declared, holding out his hand for me to shake.

I grabbed it with an amused smile. “Is this our secret handshake?” His warm skin pressed against mine and his pointer finger hit my wrist directly over my pulse.

“ Sometimes you just have to go back to basics,” he quipped before dropping my hand. He was already starting to back up in the opposite direction, but I stood my ground, shaking my head incredulously.


“ Tomorrow at eleven SHARP, we are leaving on a road trip of tremendous importance. I hope you’re ready!” he exclaimed as he continued to back away from me. No one on the street really paid him much attention, but I did.

I couldn’t look away.

…



That night was a complete cluster-f*ck. My parents came over to cook me dinner and watch a movie. Every chance I got, I escaped to my room to pack what I could without them knowing. It was always part of the plan to hide the road trip from them because they would have nixed the idea immediately. But now that Beck was joining me, I had to keep it a mega-secret. I felt so shitty, lying to them like that, but I couldn’t turn back. I just prayed they would understand my reasoning after everything was said and done.

I was stuffing all my bathroom essentials into a travel bag when my mother knocked on the door. I jumped and spun around to hide the bag in case she was about to barge in.

“ Sweetie?” My mom’s voice called from the other side of the bathroom door.

“ Oh, I’ll be right out,” I answered with a shaky voice.

“ Okay, I just wanted to make sure you were feeling alright.” She sounded so sincere.

I sat down on the lid of the toilet and hid my head in my hands. I’m a terrible person. I can’t do this to her .

“ Yes, Mom, thanks. I’ll come help with dinner in one second.” I tried to smile so she would hear it in my voice. The second she walked away, I snuck into my room and into my closet so I could dial Caroline.

I didn’t think she would answer. It rang half a dozen times and then I finally heard a cough.

“ Sweet Caroline?” I asked hesitantly. Her cough sounded terrible and I wasn’t sure it would stop. Another few seconds passed and then finally I heard raspy breathing.

“ Hey Abby.”

“ Dude, you sound like you’ve got the black plague.” It was hard to act normal and tease her in that moment. Her sickness scared me, but I couldn’t turn into another person that walked on eggshells around her. She’d never forgive me.

“ I liked you better when you had that old crappy heart. You had less energy to devote to sarcasm.”

That was Caroline.

“ Yeah, maybe this new heart is super evil.”

“ Ew, that’s weird.”

“ I’m kidding, but hey, should I or should I not feel like a complete bitch for lying to my parents about this road trip?”

“ You cannot be having second thoughts. He bought you a freaking sleeping bag and stuff. That’s practically an engagement ring.”