Wicked Need (The Wicked Horse Series Book 3)(61)

I might not have his bulk but I stand eye to eye with him, so I lean into him rather than back. “That f*cker hired someone to kill Cat. Someone who didn’t intend to just do it easily. He was going to rape her first. Not going to let that slide.”

Bridger doesn’t physically back away, but his voice softens a bit. “I get it, man. You care for her and you want vengeance. But it’s not going to make anything better for her. If you go there tonight and beat the shit out of him, the only one who that is making feel better is you. Trust me… you’re best served to go back in there and hold that girl tonight. She needs that more than you running off on a fool’s errand.”

In that moment, I hate him for being right, calm, and wise. I hate he can take the high road and still be able to sleep tonight, but if I do as he asks and take the high road, I’m going to burn from the inside-out with my failure to protect her.

Still, I can’t disagree with him that at least for tonight, Cat needs me by her side, not running off to avenge her. So, I nod at him curtly and turn to head back inside.

Before my hand touches the knob, Bridger asks in a low voice that’s sure not to filter down to the cops pacing around the yard with their flashlights. “You ever coming back to The Silo?”

I look over my shoulder at him.

His face is inscrutable.

I shrug and say, “No immediate plans, but if I do, it will be with Cat.”

Bridger lets out a deep chuckle of understanding as I walk back into the apartment where I find Cat at the sink, washing out her bowl. She doesn’t turn to face me but instead asks, “Everything okay?”

“I’m the one who should be asking you that,” I say as I walk up behind her. Reaching around with my hands, I take the bowl from her and place it in the sink, then turn her around to face me. She does so easily, looking up at me with curiosity. Her eyes are wan, but still she smiles at me.

My eyes drop to the bandage and with slightly shaky hands, I peel the tape and gauze back so I can see for myself.

A thin, red line about three inches long, about two inches above her left collarbone. The air wheezes out of my chest as I realize just how much worse it could be. Placing the bandage back in place, I press the tape onto her skin and look up at her with an encouraging smile that takes all my willpower to give her.

“Not bad at all,” I say. Her eyes shine with amusement at me that I’m trying to downplay what happened, just to take the weight and magnitude off her shoulders a bit.

“You need to eat,” she says, hands sliding up to my chest. “And you still haven’t told me if Tarryn’s okay?”

My hands capture hers, and I hold them in place right over my heart. “Tarryn’s fine. She’s having surgery tomorrow on her ankle, and I’ve asked her to stop contacting me.”

“Rand,” Cat says in a censuring tone.

“Don’t, Cat,” I warn her, still trying to gentle my words as she’s had a shittier day than I have. “You let me handle Tarryn and trust I’m doing what’s right and I’m doing it in a way that’s not intentionally hurtful, okay?”

Immediately, her cheeks turn pink and her gaze drops. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have…”

“Cat,” I say softly but firmly to cut her off, and she looks back up. “Let’s talk about you, okay?”

“Me?”

“Yeah… and me.”

“And you?” she asks hesitantly.

“Let’s talk about us and if there’s a concept of us,” I clarify with a smile, taking her by the hand and walking her into the living room. My desire is to walk her right into the bedroom so I can undress her, examine her fully to make sure I’m not missing anything, and then pull her into bed where I’d also really like to f*ck her but know that I’ll ultimately just end up holding her.

But this conversation needs some boundaries, so it’s to the couch I lead us. She takes a seat and rather than sit beside her, I plop my butt on the coffee table instead where our knees bump together.

She frowns and says, “Uh-oh… this is serious.”

“Yeah,” I admit.

“You want me to leave?” she asks softly, her eyes shining at me with some understanding she thinks I need but totally don’t want.

“No, I don’t want you to leave,” I tell her with exasperation as I take her hands. “I want to talk about you staying… forever, if you want.”

“Staying?” she asks carefully. “You mean more than just here at the apartment with you?”

I don’t answer her directly but rather turn back to where we had left things at the Snake River Brewery before I’d got called away by Tarryn. “You told me tonight that you were afraid that I was going to wake up one day and realize you’re not the person I’d want to give the time of day to.”

She nods, lips pursed in an ashamed grimace.

“Well, my fears are a little different,” I tell her as I press forward. “I’m afraid I’m going to wake up one day and you’ll be gone because I didn’t make the bold move to tell you how I’m feeling. I know you said you’re afraid you can’t give me what I’m expecting, and the ironic thing is, you already give me that and so much more, and you don’t even realize it.”