When August Ends(58)

He rested his head in his hands for a moment before looking up at me. “Don’t think for one second that last night didn’t have a profound effect on me. It’s made things ten times harder, which was always what I was trying to avoid.”

“I know. That’s why as hard as it is—and I can’t believe I’m saying this—I don’t think we should do it again. I don’t think we should have sex any more while you’re here.”

His face told me he wasn’t expecting that. Perhaps he figured me for a weaker person?

“Yeah…okay…I agree,” he said.

“I don’t regret what we did and wouldn’t change it, but I feel so much more attached to you. Given everything that’s going to happen, I can’t afford to make that worse. I’ll never be able to let you go.”

Noah stared down into his stew a moment. “For the record, I don’t regret it, either.”

I grinned. “Maybe we should go back to just hanging out on the porch.”

That made him laugh. “Sadly, I don’t think you’re kidding.”

“No, I’m not.”

“We can do that. Whatever will make it easier.”

I exhaled. “Is this what it’s like to be an adult? Making mature decisions, even if they don’t feel right?”

“Bonus points if it feels like your heart is being ripped out, yeah.”

It pained me to ask, “Have you decided when you’re leaving?”

“No. I don’t have a set date, aside from the thirty-first being the last day I’m paid for.”

“Would you consider staying a little bit beyond that?”

“I’ll stay as long as you need me.”

“Thank you. That’s a huge relief. I have so much to do. It’s overwhelming.”

“Take a deep breath. We’ll get it done.” His eyes lingered on the marks he’d left on my neck. “Fuck. It hasn’t even been a full day, and this is already hard.”

Need burned within me just from the way he looked at me. Maybe this would get easier as the days went on, but right now I just wanted to leap into his arms.

I totally chickened out when that feeling got to be too strong. Pushing my chair out, I said, “Thank you for the stew. I’m gonna head back to the house and start putting some stuff aside for the yard sale. I was thinking of having one next weekend.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for some pie? We never touched it last night.”

“No. That’s okay. You enjoy it. You can tell me how it came out.”

“Okay.” He stood. “Let me know if you need help with anything.”

“I will. My aunt Katy is coming next weekend. I was going to ask you if you’d come with us to see some properties. I’d love your input.”

“Anything you need,” he said as he walked me to the door.

But what I needed, I couldn’t have.





CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO




* * *



NOAH




The next Sunday afternoon, Heather’s aunt Katy had come up from Boston, and we’d made appointments to see five different houses in nearby towns that were close, but not exactly on the lake. Alice had opted to stay home. Too overwhelmed by the idea of moving, she’d decided to let Heather and Katy make the decision.

Debbie, the realtor, opened the door to the last property of the day: a modest but newly renovated one-level home.

Her heels echoed on the hardwood floor. “They’re asking two-seventy-five. It’s priced to sell. I think we can get them down a tad because the owners are eager to be done with it. They’re already down in Florida. The good thing about this one is it was recently updated, so it’s pretty move-in ready.”

We were exhausted. The day before we’d held a massive yard sale outside the main house, which Heather had spent the entire week preparing for. We’d sold about half the stuff. I’d packed my truck with the rest and took it to a donation facility. It would probably take more than a month to empty out the main house completely, so it was a good thing they had until mid-September to vacate.

Heather wanted to go out to Vermont early, find an apartment and job, and get settled before the spring semester started. Once Alice was in her new place, Heather would be able to leave anytime to get a head start out there.

I knew this whole process was difficult on her, from parting with sentimental belongings to the stress of packing. But it had to be done. Since Alice was virtually useless a lot of the time—aside from slowly packing up some small things—the responsibility of this transition, as usual, fell on Heather’s shoulders. She was a trooper, spending every waking moment that she wasn’t at work doing something to prepare for the move.

The realtor led us to a back room that had been added onto the house. “Katy, I think this space would be perfect for your art room. The windows let a lot of sun in.”

Katy brushed her fingers along the wall. “It’s a little small, but it might work.”

Heather had been giving her aunt first choice on a place. I think she was just so grateful Katy had agreed to look after her mother. She wanted Katy to be as happy and comfortable as possible here. It was a pretty damn good deal for Katy, since she wouldn’t even be paying rent, although I supposed having to keep an eye on Alice would make up for that.