What Lovers Do(15)

“I thought the same thing. But … I’m not the gynecologist.”

“Are you going to put it in the fridge? Surely, you can’t just keep it in your purse. It will start to smell. Then again, how sanitary is it for you to put it in the fridge where everyone keeps their lunches?”

“True. Maybe I’ll just grab some ice and put it in the car. I’m done early anyway because I have a meeting with my attorney.”

Nora nods slowly. “Ice. Good idea. Hope you’re not meeting with your attorney for anything major.”

“Nothing major.” Aside from Jules, I haven’t told anyone that Jimmy is still living with me despite our breakup. Stupid squatter. I slide past Nora then turn back toward her. “Nora?”

“Yeah?”

“Keep this between us. I don’t want anyone needlessly worrying about me until I know something for sure.”

“Absolutely. I do hope it’s nothing. The pill might help lighten your flow. It did for me.”

“Yeah. I’ll keep that in mind.”

After my last patient, I run home to plant the dirty tampon in my trash. I’ve reached a new low in my life. Never saw this day coming. I’m sure my sister and her husband would be really proud of their surrogate carrying around someone’s dirty tampon.

I put the cart before the horse. Implantation of the embryo should have happened after the boyfriend (ex-boyfriend) eviction. But things went quicker than I imagined. And when a date was offered to … get me pregnant … I agreed because Chloe thought Jimmy and I had broken up. It was the only way she would have agreed to let me be her surrogate. And we had, in my mind. It all seemed like an afterthought. After all, how long does it take to break up with someone?

“I want to break up.”

“Why?”

“It’s not working for me. I’m sorry.”

Cue a few tears and maybe a fleeting plea or two.

“If that’s what you want. I’ll pack my stuff now.”

A few more tears.

Load up the shit.

Done.

If only …

“Home for a nooner?” Jimmy asks while making a mess in my kitchen. The house smells like burnt butter and bacon.

“Go to hell, Jimmy.” I rush to the bathroom, plant the tampon in the trash, flush the toilet, and wash my hands. “No time to play, Cersei.” I pause just long enough to give her a quick kiss on the head as I scurry to the front door so I’m not late for my appointment.

“You look beautiful today.”

I stop, one foot out the door and my back to Jimmy who followed me.

“You look beautiful every day. And maybe I should have told you that more. Maybe I should have tried harder to make you feel loved and appreciated. Because I do … I appreciate you. And I’m going to do better. I’m going to find a job. I started looking today.”

I inch my head back to see him, chin pressed to my shoulder.

He slides his hands in the pockets of his shorts. He’s dressed. In real clothes. I hadn’t noticed when I walked in the door.

“If I’m honest, you intimidate me. I still can’t believe you ever gave me the time of day. You … a beautiful, smart doctor. Totally put together. And kinder than anyone I have ever met.”

He shaved too.

The longer I stare at him, I realize he’s also showered. I can see a tiny glimpse of the guy I met online.

“You have no idea how taking care of my mom has impacted my life. It’s the reason I haven’t finished college. It’s the reason I wasn’t a great employee and got fired. I’ve needed this break, emotionally and physically. I’ve been falling into a depression, but I’m going to do better. I’m out of it now. I’m sorry. I don’t want to lose you.”

My Jimmy had tattoos down one arm. And it was sexy. I’ve been blind to them for months.

My Jimmy had abs for days. My Jimmy was king of the smolder. All it took was one look and I lost my clothes and all inhibitions. I haven’t seen that Jimmy for months.

Now, I see a tiny glimpse of that Jimmy. But it doesn’t erase the image of the unkempt freeloader on my sofa. I recall his pathetic attempts at seducing me when he hadn’t even brushed his teeth.

No smolder.

No game whatsoever.

Some things can’t be disguised by tattoos and abs. And I know … I just know that if I have another weak moment (like so many before now), I will regret it. And it’s not just me now. I’m pregnant.

“I have to go,” I whisper.





CHAPTER TEN





“What did you find out?” Jules asks as I answer the phone in my car after leaving my attorney’s office.

“He’s going to check on a few things and get back with me. But apparently, I might have to formally evict Jimmy. I first need to give him written notice that he has five days to leave. If he doesn’t leave, I can file an eviction lawsuit against him. If I win, which I will, and he still doesn’t leave, I file a Writ of Restitution to have the sheriff remove him. God … how did this happen? And … Jules … he showered and shaved. He said he’s looking for a job. And he said all the things I needed him to say months ago.”

“Too late. You can’t. Sophie, hear me clearly. I will not let you take him back.”