What Lovers Do(11)
“That bad, huh?”
I laugh. “That bad.”
“Vibrator battery go dead on you?”
I snort. “Funny, but no. I have a backup.”
“Fascinating. Tell me more.”
“Should I be worried that a guy I met days ago at the pet store is calling me to talk about vibrators? Feels a little stalker-ish.”
“Again, you asked what I was wearing. I’m just following your lead.”
I can’t help but laugh. For a guy who has zero chance with me, he’s persistent. Sadly, I find his persistence a needed distraction from my problems.
“What do you want to talk about?”
I’m tempted to say “nothing” since I’m not the one who called him. “Is Shep short for Shepherd?”
“Yes.”
“What time do you walk your dogs in the morning when it’s over a hundred degrees by nine?”
“Four.”
“Shut up! You do not walk your dogs at four in the morning.”
He laughs. “I do. I walk them at four. Exercise at five. Shower at six on the weeks that I have them.”
“The weeks that you have them?”
“I have shared custody with my ex-wife.”
“Shared custody of dogs? Is that a thing?”
“It’s very much a thing.”
“Well, that explains why your marriage failed.”
“What does?”
“You walk your dogs at four in the morning. I could never marry someone who routinely woke up at four in the morning.”
“Why?”
I shake my head even though he can’t see me. “Because he’d wake me up. I have a terrible time getting back to sleep if I wake up early in the morning. I’d be chronically sleep deprived and incredibly cranky all the time.”
“I see. I guess that means we’ll never get married.”
With a nervous laugh, I bite my tongue. We’ll never get married for a lot of reasons, but his four a.m. routine is low on the list. “How long were you married?”
“Five years.”
“How long have you been divorced?”
“A year.”
“Do you miss her?”
“I see her way too often to miss her.”
“Do you miss being married?”
“I miss some things about it.”
“Like?”
“I miss going out with friends, our couples’ friends. I miss barbecues. Golfing with her on Friday afternoons. I miss quick trips to vineyards and long walks with the dogs. I sometimes miss the woman I married, but I never miss the woman I divorced.” He sounds normal.
They all sound normal at first.
“What do you not miss about her?”
“Sorry, Sophie. I think it’s my turn again.”
“Fine, but nothing personal.”
“You just grilled me on the history of my marriage. That’s personal.”
“You brought it up. I was just following your lead.”
“I see what you did there. Cute. Okay. Why did you choose to be an optometrist?”
I hesitate because I don’t want to tell him. It’s the most ridiculous and uninspiring reason. “Good pay. Good hours.”
“Liar.”
I laugh. “You don’t know if I’m lying. We’ve known each other for less than a week.”
“You just gave me the most generic answer ever, which means you don’t want to tell me the real reason. Why is that?”
“A guy. God … I’ve never told anyone, I mean anyone, this before. I don’t know why I’m telling you.”
“Because I’m safe.”
I grunt. “I don’t know if I’d call you safe, but …” I sigh. “I decided my junior year of high school that I would go to optometry school. My best friend, Jules, had a brother who was four years older than us. After his second year of undergrad, he declared he was going to be an optometrist. I had such a huge crush on him. Jules never knew. She still has no idea. I thought he’d help me through school. I thought it was the perfect chance to get close to him.”
“But?” Shep draws out that one word.
But. Yeah, he has no clue. There’s a big “but” to this story.
“But he died in a car accident two weeks after I started the optometry program.”
“Jeez, Sophie … that’s … well … that’s a terrible story.”
“What? You asked me!”
“I did. But you make something up if the truth is … a terrible story.”
“Wow. I’m sorry I don’t have something as heartfelt as missing my ex because we used to golf and go to vineyards together.”
“That’s not what I miss most about her. It’s what sounds most engaging. Most romantic.”
“Did you … did you lie to me?” I sit up and hold out my phone to stare at it for a few seconds. Who is this guy?
“Six-thirty.”
“Six-thirty what?” I ask.
“Walk the dogs at four. Exercise at five. Shower at six. Have sex with my wife at six-thirty. That’s what I miss most. But I thought we’d ease into our tele-dating.”