What Lovers Do(14)

“I’m meeting with an attorney today.” I bob my herbal tea bag in lukewarm water. I already had my one cup of coffee. It wasn’t enough.

“I cleaned both bathrooms yesterday, in case you missed that,” he says from under the blanket. “Don’t forget to tell your attorney that.”

“My name’s on the mortgage … in case you missed that.”

“You know …” He throws the blanket aside and sits up straight.

I jerk my head to the side when I see him—all of him. “The hell, Jimmy! You’re sleeping naked on my sofa? Gross!”

“You never had a problem with me naked on your sofa when you were naked on the sofa with me. Cancel your stupid attorney appointment, play hooky from work, and get naked with me, Sophie. My mom thinks our lack of physical intimacy has contributed to the wedge between us.”

“That’s great, Jimmy.” I remove the tea bag and drop it into the trash bin. Then I get Cersei her breakfast. “I’d love to hear how these conversations with your mom go. Does she know you haven’t made any effort to get a new job? A place of your own? Does she know you’ve let yourself go? Does she know how much you smell? Has she seen your greasy hair and pale skin? I honestly didn’t know one could live in Arizona and be so pale.”

“Sorry, Queen Sophie. I wasn’t genetically blessed with your pigmentation. Is that why you’re having second thoughts about me? I’m too white?”

“Yes. If it weren’t for your pasty white skin, I’d marry you tomorrow. It’s all about that and nothing at all to do with your lack of employment or the divot your ass is making in my sofa. The piss on my bathroom floor. The scratches on my coffee table from your shoes. The big hint I gave you just a week after you moved in here … when I suggested you sleep in the guest room.”

“I thought you wanted privacy to use your vibrator.”

What?

Why do men assume all women use a vibrator? I don’t even own one.

“What would that say about you as a lover?”

He shrugs. “Nothing. Just because I jerk off in the shower doesn’t mean you’re a bad lover.”

He has a point, but it’s a moot point because it’s a distraction from the real issue.

“If I get a job, will we be good?” Jimmy asks.

I grab the piece of toast from the toaster and spread peanut butter on it. “Would it make a difference in your train of thought if I told you I was planning on breaking up with you before you got fired? I let you live with me temporarily.”

“I’m not sure what you mean by making a difference in my train of thought.” He scratches the back of his head and yawns. “But it would explain why we’ve had so little sex. Did you …” He has the audacity to look confused or maybe a little offended. “Did you have sex with me on my birthday because you felt sorry for me?”

“Yes.” That feels good. I can’t believe how quickly and easily that came out of my mouth. The reminder of just how low I stooped on his birthday doesn’t feel as good.

“Jesus … don’t sugarcoat it. That’s pretty fucking terrible of you.”

“Terrible of me? Terrible of me to let you live here while you’ve looked for a new job and a place to live, even though you have not looked for a job or a place to live? Terrible of me to buy your food? Terrible of me to have sex with you? Are you really going to pretend that our sex life was such a deep emotional bond that the thought of me having it with you just because it was your birthday was some sort of betrayal and insult to your sensitive heart? You have tried to have sex with me while I’m sleeping.”

Jimmy frowns and turns on the TV. “Once. And I thought you’d wake up and participate. Instead, you kneed me in the fucking groin.”

“You startled me!”

Jimmy shakes his head but remains silent.

I finish eating and brush my teeth for work.

As I open the door and sling my handbag over my shoulder, Jimmy clears his throat. “I still haven’t seen any tampons in your trash. If you’re pregnant, I’m never moving out. No way am I letting our kid grow up in a split family. I did that, and it’s not what I want for my kid.”

Oh, Jimmy …





Here’s the nice thing about working with four other women … one of us is always having her period. If someone would have asked me if I could ever imagine myself stealing dirty tampons from the trash in the employee bathroom to plant in my trash bin at home, I would have laughed and cringed at the same time. Who … who would ever do such a crazy thing?

Me.

Desperate me.

“Whoa … what are you doing?” Nora’s gaze focuses on the clear plastic bag in my hand as I come out of the bathroom.

I should have grabbed a paper bag. It was a last-minute decision.

“Is the trash full?” she asks.

“Um …” I swallow hard and slide the bag behind me, so she stops staring at it. What if it’s hers? “I’ve been having heavy periods. So very heavy. And my doctor wants to see what I consider a really heavy period. So I’m taking this to her so she can see how heavy it is.”

Oh my god … was that really my best excuse?

Nora’s face sours. “Did she ask you to do that? It’s kinda weird.”