Virtuous(89)

“I totally got that. You can give each other a hard time because underneath it all is a foundation of love and respect that comes right from your parents.”

“Yes,” he says gruffly, glancing at me with an odd expression.

“What? Did I say the wrong thing?”

“No, sweetheart, you said exactly the right thing. The last woman I dated… She met Annie and Aimee once and thought they were shrews because of the way they talk to me. She didn’t get it, and you do. You get it.”

I certainly understand better than most the way family dynamics can make you or break you. He has the former. I got the latter, but being around the Godfreys tonight has restored my faith in the institution of family, even if I got the short end of the stick.

The ride home is quiet, but a low hum of tension exists between us now that we’re alone again. By the time we get home and into the house, I’m a mess of nerves and fear. What if I can’t do it? What if I freak out or have a panic attack or—

“Hey, Nat,” he says softly. “Come over here and talk to me for a minute.” He leads me to the sofa and takes a seat next to me, turning to face me.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, sweetheart, everything is perfect. Tonight was so special for me, to be able to introduce you to the people I love the most and to watch you fit right in with them like you belong with us. My parents loved you, just like I knew they would.” He slides his fingers through my hair, making me lean in to get closer to him. “I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier all night long. It’s a wonder I could string together two coherent words.”

“I didn’t mean to distract you.”

“Yes,” he says with a low chuckle, “I think you did mean to distract me, and you’ve distracted me thoroughly. But here’s the thing… I think we ought to wait a while before we make love. A week ago, you were very resolute in your feelings on the matter, and I would hate to be responsible for you doing something you’re not ready to do only because you think it’s what I want.”

“I want it, too. It’s not just you.”

“I know, sweetheart, but still… I think we should wait. I could feel your nerves take over the second we were in the car on the way home.”

“I’m nervous. I won’t deny that, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to.”

“There’s a lot of really fun stuff we can do without doing everything. I want you to be sure, and I promised I’d respect your boundaries. I’m so afraid of doing something to frighten you, Natalie. You have no idea how afraid I am. The more time I spend with you, the more essential you become to me.” He gathers me into his arms. “I’m not going anywhere. We’ve got all the time in the world to let things happen when we’re both ready.”

“I want to be normal,” I whisper. “I want to be like any other woman who’s found a man she cares about.”

“You are perfect exactly the way you are. Everything you’ve been through has made you strong and resilient and incredibly mature for your age. I admire all those things about you so much. And when the time is right for us, we’ll know it. There won’t be any fear or nerves or worries about the past. It’ll be just you and me and everything we feel for each other.”

“I feel like this has to be a dream. I never expected to find someone like you, who understands me so profoundly.”

“I feel exactly the same way. After having been with a lot of women who were far more interested in what I could do for them than they were in me, it’s a breath of fresh air to find someone like you and to feel understood by you.”

“If we’re going to wait, does this mean you don’t want to sleep with me?”

“I would love to sleep with you, if you’ll have me.”

“Yes, Flynn, I will have you.” I smile at him, surprisingly relieved by the reprieve. While I was determined to try, I’m okay with waiting, too.

He kisses me, and I can sense the control he’s exerting over himself as he keeps the kiss sweet and undemanding. “Let’s go to bed and watch a movie.”

“Okay.”

We go through the motions of getting ready for bed and come together in the center of his big bed. He’s wearing pajama bottoms that look new, leading me to wonder what he normally wears to bed. I’m wearing a tank with lightweight pajama pants. I’ve taken the time to brush my hair until it’s smooth and silky.