Victorious(16)

I glance up at Flynn, who is watching me intently. “What?” he asks.

“At home or in public?”

He laughs, which softens his entire demeanor. “That’s where you get lucky. Because of who I am to the rest of the world, I won’t make you blow me in the men’s room at LaGuardia.”

“Thank goodness for small favors.”

“I believe you once said there’s nothing small about it.”

His comment cracks me up. I love that we’re laughing our way through what could’ve been a tense, uncomfortable conversation. It’s anything but that. With every clause and sentence I read in the agreement, I feel closer to him, to understanding the real him and what makes him tick. I want to know that. I want to know everything about him. “So define public for me, then. What does that mean for us?”

“Possibly, down the road, when you’re ready and I feel confident that you can handle it, we’d do a scene at the club.”

“In front of people we know.”

“Yes.” He eyes me with his head tipped in inquiry. “What do you think of that?”

“I-I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Okay.”

“That’s it? Just okay?”

“We’ll put public scenes on your soft limits list for now, and we can revisit it later. I have no intention of plunging you into this thing all at once, Nat. We’re going to ease you in and take it one step at a time. At first it will just be us, experimenting, playing, trying new things in private. A public scene at the club would only happen much later, if or when we both decide it’s time.”

“What if I never get there?”

“Then you never get there, and I’ll still love you with all my heart and be thankful every day that you’re my wife as well as my sexual submissive.”

“Could I… could we… maybe sometime… go to the club? Together?”

“That could be arranged.”

“I’d love to see it and to better understand what goes on there.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do.”

His assurances help me relax some as I read about the exchange of respect between the parties as well as the expectations and rights of the Dom. These include the right to discipline his sub at any time but makes assurances that the Dom will never do anything that could be considered unsafe or that would leave permanent marks on the body of the submissive or create injuries that require medical intervention.

“How does punishment work?”

“Well, there are a variety of different ways that can be approached. It can be a spanking that’s intended to hurt more than arouse. I can make you stand naked in a corner for a period of time during which you’re expected to think about whatever behavior brought on the punishment in the first place, and then we’ll talk about it afterward. Sometimes it might be both those things together—corner time followed by a spanking. There are Doms who bring in canes and whips and all sorts of other implements to discipline their subs, but I’m not really into inflicting that level of pain. The worst you’d get from me is a flogging for really serious offenses.”

“There were whips in your playroom, or at least they looked like whips to me.”

“Those belong to a friend.”

“Oh.” I swallow hard at the thought of being whipped. “And what would count as a really serious offense?”

“Disrespecting your Dom, talking back, refusing to do what you’re told, failing to please me in some way.” He pauses before he says, “I can see your wheels spinning. What’re you thinking?”

“I can’t imagine what it would be like to be spanked for talking back to you.”

“This is only during sex. Feel free to sass me all you want the rest of the time. When we’re in there,” he says, pointing to the bedroom, “I’m in charge, and you do what you’re told or face the consequences. That’s how this works. By entering into this agreement, you’re ceding the power over your sexual satisfaction and personal well-being to me, which means you have to do what I tell you and trust me to know what you need. That’s how I do my job and ensure your safety—and your satisfaction.”

I think that over from every angle and can see where it makes sense. “What if…” I shake my head. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Whatever you’re thinking, just say it. Put it out there and let’s talk about it. I don’t want you to have any worries or concerns about how this will work.”

“What if I’d come back, after learning everything I now know about you, and I just wasn’t interested in this? What would’ve happened then?”

“If that had been the case, I would’ve been sad to not get the chance to explore this world with you, but we would’ve gone on like before only with no secrets left between us.”

“How long would you have been satisfied with that?”

“For the rest of my life. I had already decided I could live without the lifestyle before I could live without you.” With his hands on my shoulders, he looks directly into my eyes. “If what you’re asking me is if I’d turn to someone else to fulfill these needs, the answer is an emphatic no. I will never cheat on you, Nat. Ever. I’ve been down that road, and I never hated myself more than when I stooped to Valerie’s level by giving her a taste of her own medicine. I will never do that again, especially not to you. If I’m not having sex—of whatever kind—with you, I’m not having it with anyone else either. I swear to you. If you never believe another thing I tell you, that one you can take to the bank.”