Victorious(15)

“It’s reality,” he says with a shrug. “People fear what they don’t understand. It’s easier and cleaner to keep it private. Plus it’s none of anyone’s f*cking business.”

“True.”

“Another thing that people don’t understand is it’s not all about sex. It’s much more about the emotion. When two people are fully invested in a scene, it can be the most intensely emotional experience you’ll ever have—and that’s before anyone has sex.” He cups my face and slides his thumb over my cheekbone. “That’s magnified a thousand times when you’re in a scene with someone you love.”

It’s hard to imagine our lovemaking more intense than it already is, but I take his word for the fact that there is more—much more. “What else is in that contract of yours?”

“A checklist of possibilities. But first, I want you to look at this and see what you think. Most of the time, these things are hammered out verbally. But because of who we are and what we have to lose, we do paper contracts at Quantum. Everything about this lifestyle and our agreement is based on three core beliefs—safe, sane and consensual. Everything we do will be all three of those things or it doesn’t happen.”

He hands me two pages that outline our Dominant/submissive relationship. The Club Quantum logo sits at the top of both pages.

“Who has access to the clubs?”

“The five principal partners as well as our staff and the members we’ve admitted over the years.”

“How do you keep something like this a secret in your business?”

“We are very selective about who we admit, and it costs a million dollars to join as a regular member. Everyone who’s admitted into the club would have something big to lose if they talked about us or our activities or the club. We have people locked in custody battles, people with huge, prominent jobs outside the entertainment business, people with families who have no idea they’re in the lifestyle.”

“Does your family know?”

“No.”

“Does Addie know?”

“Nope.”

“She must suspect something after working so closely with you for so long.”

“Not to be flippant about our recent troubles, but you married me, slept with me, made love with me, spent weeks with me and only me, and you didn’t know.”

“True, but then again, I didn’t even know such a thing existed until I found Hayden’s room.”

“I’m not sure that Addie knows it exists either.”

“Is this why Hayden doesn’t pursue his feelings for her?”

“Yes.”

“So many things make sense in this new context.”

“And yet I still feel I have to say again—Hayden’s business is his and his alone. Until you, I have never told another living soul about his involvement in the lifestyle, just as I’m confident he’s never told anyone about mine.”

“I’m honored to be trusted with all of this, Flynn. I swear to you again that I will never speak of it to anyone. You have my word on that.”

“Even if our marriage disintegrates into a Hollywood disaster?” he asks with a wry grin that doesn’t quite touch his eyes. I know he has no desire to discuss the possible demise of our marriage, but he’s wise to be concerned nonetheless.

“Even then.”

He takes my hand and brings it to his lips. “Thank you for that, for everything today, for giving me the chance to explain, to bring you all the way into my life. I’m so full of gratitude where you’re concerned.”

“It’s odd because I felt so close to you before this, but now… It’s even more so than it was before. Thank you for letting me the rest of the way into your world, even though you didn’t want to.”

“It’s not that I didn’t want to. It was my misguided attempt to protect you, which backfired badly and undermined everything we’ve built together.”

I squeeze his hand, which is still wrapped around mine. “This isn’t something I would’ve thought I wanted, but listening to you describe it to me…” I fan my face, making him laugh. “I don’t know if I can do all of it, but I’m definitely curious and interested.”

“That’s an important first step. Now finish your dinner and read the contract.”

“Yes, Sir.”

My reply makes his eyes get very dark, and the connection between us in that moment is absolutely incendiary.

“Read,” he says in a low growl.

I smile at him before I return my attention to the documents.

The contract begins by outlining the timeframe for our agreement, which has been left blank. It goes on to cover a number of safety-related items, such as the hard and soft limits he’s already mentioned and the use of what’s referred to as a traffic-light system in which green means go, yellow means the sub is approaching his or her limits, and red means everything needs to stop right now. It covers the importance of open, honest communication between the Dom and the sub, and the proper form of address between a sub and the Dom.

Next is the availability of the sub, which is pretty much all the time, except for when the sub is at work or sleeping or otherwise engaged in his or her own activities. Then I read a line that says the terms of the agreement are enforceable by the Dom whether the couple is at home or in public.