Upside Down(18)

“Wait, what?”

“He has no surname,” I answered. “Like Adele and Rihanna. Not that I’ve found anyway. I told you that before.”

“Not his name,” she cried. “You said coffee date. You said coffee date at two o’clock!”

I barely refrained from squealing. “I know!”

“Jordan O’Neill you tell me everything this second! All the details. Who asked whom?”

I snorted. “Really, Merry. Do you think I’d be capable of asking him?”

“Well, you could have blurted it out or asked him without meaning to or something. I don’t know,” she said. “So he asked you? Oh my God, Jordan, this is huge!”

That time I did actually squeal and I might have done a little happy dance in my seat. I did try to keep my voice down, but I was so used to people glaring at me for dropping a motherfucker every now and then, I figured a bit of volume was the least of my worries. “I know! He said he had questions and he wished we had more than just five minutes on the bus each day, and the bus was full so I couldn’t sit next to him. I had to stand and he got up before his stop to talk to me.”

“Aww, that’s so cute. So, did he ask you the question?”

“Well, kind of. I mean, he did, but it was weird.”

“Weird, how?”

“Well, he wanted to know if I had any intention of going back to the next support meeting. That was his question. The one burning question that drove me crazy.”

“Hmm,” she said.

“What does that mean? What does hmm mean? Is that the hmm of judgement? Or the hmm of disdain? The hmm of death? Merry…”

“Well, it’s just interesting, that’s all. It could mean a few things.”

“Such as? I haven’t had time to think about anything. He got off the bus and I called you.”

“Aw, you’re so sweet.”

“What do you think it means? Should I be worried? Because I asked him if he didn’t want me to come back or if I’d made someone uncomfortable and he looked kinda horrified and said no, it was nothing like that. Just that he had other questions as well, so he wanted to know if I was free tomorrow.”

“I think maybe he asked you if you were going to the next meeting as a way to ask if you’d felt more comfortable with the asexual revelation you had.”

I replayed what she said in my head. “Do you think?”

“Well, it’s better than asking outright where your head’s at, know what I mean?”

“I guess…”

“Or maybe he asked you as a way to determine how successful his meetings are.”

“Oh.”

“But I think it’s Option A, Jordan. Look at the bigger picture. He’s been saving you a seat, and he asked you out for coffee. I think he’s interested. I think he likes you.”

My heart pounded and I began to sweat. “Oh God.”

“Breathe, Jordan. It’s a good thing.”

I exhaled slowly then inhaled, rinse and repeat. Jesus. “Until I fuck it up.”

“How will you fuck this up?”

“You’ve met me. I open my mouth and all there is is explosive verbal diarrhoea. No one is safe.”

She snorted. “Jordan, he’s not like the other guys. He’s not going to dump you because you don’t want to get into bed with him. Remember where you met him. At a meeting for asexual and aromantic people.”

There was more heart pounding, more sweating, and now my forehead felt cold and somehow hot at the same time. Or was that my palms? I couldn’t tell.

“Jordan, you’ll be fine. Don’t overthink it and just be yourself. Be honest with him. And remember, if dating isn’t on the cards, he’d be a kick-arse guy to call a friend, yeah? He likes books, he’s funny, and he’s a decent human being, which we all know is a fucking rarity these days. For all we know, he might need a friend. So how about meeting him for coffee tomorrow with the premise of friends-only? Then there’s no pressure. Let him get to know you. You can get to know him too. Maybe ask him his surname, and start from there.”

I felt better already. “You know exactly how to talk me down.”

“Because I know you.”

“I’m sorry I drove you crazy today at work.”

“That’s okay. You can repay me by coming into the city with me on Sunday. I need to buy my mother a birthday present.”

“Ugh. Jeez. I said I was sorry already. No need to be mean.”

She laughed. “See? And you understand me.”

It was true. Merry’s mother was one impossible woman. “I will take my punishment for being an arse to you today. How old is Satan turning anyway?”

“666.”

“Sounds about right,” I said, feeling so much better. “I’ll be at your place at about ten on Sunday morning, yeah?”

“Perfect. And you’ll bring coffee?”

“Of course.”

“You’re a lad. Though I fully expect a phone call tomorrow at about twelve as you spiral into freak-out mode.”

I considered objecting, but we both knew a spiral into freak-out mode was highly likely. If I put pressure on myself, then I would freak out for sure. But to think of him as just a friend was almost calming. Huh. So weird. “No, I think I like the idea of being friends with him. I mean, I need to know him first, right? Regardless of the fact he’s gorgeous and his smile gives me butterflies and he loves audiobooks, I mean let’s not pretend the man isn’t perfect boyfriend material. But it’d be pretty damn cool to have a friend who’s more like me than not, ya know?”