Unveiled (Torn #6)(13)
The way he had said it—the expression in those eyes that I loved so much, that pure utter horror that bore so vividly in those depths—truly was a revelation of its own.
I had never thought I would value marriage this much until the option of it wasn’t part of the equation. Furthermore, even though he was adamant about not wanting it with me, I would still hold out that someday he would. I had no other choice than to believe in this, because if I didn’t, there was no future for us. I had to trust that, no matter what happened between us, he would still come home to me after our tumultuous fights. That it would be me he thought of last before he slept at night. That it would be me he always belonged to.
I had never deemed myself so possessive that I would readily put marriage on the table, but like I had promised myself before, I would do anything to keep him with me. No matter the cost.
By the time I came out of the bathroom, Dimitris was gone. As much as it pained me not to see him there, I knew it was for the best he left for the mean time. Our conversation had spiraled out of control, and he and I needed breathing room to regroup.
Hopefully, when we saw each other again, we would come to terms with everything. Okay, maybe not everything, but at least make some vital progress that would satisfy us both. He was supposed to leave the day after tomorrow; therefore, time was of the essence.
Setting aside the jealous side of me would take will power, but I knew I must for us to reach some sort of understanding. I loved him. It was that simple.
*
Although sleep evaded me, I managed to get enough to feel a little rested when I finally dragged myself out of bed to go see my dear brother.
My chest felt like a boulder was pressing against it, making it hard to breathe. However, I pasted on a happy face the moment I entered Carter’s room. The day wasn’t about me, but him and his recovery. I was convinced his hankering for alcohol wasn’t the problem. The underlying difficulty was his determination to move on from his heartbreak. It was moments like these that I wished he would go back to his man-whore ways. Sure, it was such a blasted thing to wish for, but heck, I would rather see him bouncing between women than pale in a hospital bed, looking like death was knocking on his doorstep. Anything … any-f*uking-thing but that.
When I got to the hospital, even before I entered the room, I knew Trista and Amber along with Brody were all already there. Trista’s high-pitched voice was so distinct it was hard not to smile just thinking of the kind of lecture Carter would be getting from her. She gave tough love, and I adored her for it.
Sometimes, when I thought my problems were too overpowering, I looked at my lovely friend and realized what I had gone through barely compared to her trials. She had endured losing her brother, distanced herself from her family when she’d had an affair with her cousin’s husband, lost her baby through termination, went through one of the darkest paths a woman could ever go through, and she had still come out after all those hurdles a sane woman. True, her boyfriend Taylor could account for always pushing her to be a better woman, but it was her—the woman within. The kind of power she was harboring made her plow through each difficulty with every fiber of her being. Though she might be dying inside, she still pushed on and never gave up.
I can be her. I can be just as strong as her, I reassured myself as I tried to compose my breathing with my fake smile in place.
“Lindsey, I’ve been hounding your phone all morning. Why haven’t you answered?” Trista gave me a censuring look before coming towards me and giving me the most comforting hug a best friend could ever give. I lavished in her warmth, hoping she’d transfer some of her strength and fire, for what was to come when I saw Dimitris that evening. If I ever saw him …
Returning her hug, I whispered, “I was in a hurry and never had the chance to take it out of my purse. Sorry, but I’m here now. Thank you for being here.” My smile, though weak, showed my gratitude for her undying support. “Has he woken?” I glanced at Trista before directing Brody a look.
His face brightened when our eyes connected. “He did for about thirty minutes, but after he drank some water, he went back to sleep. He said he’s never felt this shitty in his life.” He barked out a dry laugh, finding humor in such a grave situation.
Carter’s comments assured me that he was getting better. He just needed more IV fluids to hydrate his body and to recuperate more since his body had gone through such a shock. Most of all, what was his deal with the perfumes? I would address that when the right time came. Sure, the alcohol poisoning was troublesome, but perfumes? That was some Dr. Oz material right there. That action proved he was in a deeply severe mental state, and we had to fix that before he tried something even more drastic. That wouldn’t happen on my watch.
“Hey, Linds …” Amber reluctantly glanced at me. “I’m on my way out to get some coffee; do you want any?”
It was another attempt for her trying to branch the massive gap that was sitting between us. Usually, I ignored her complete existence, but maybe it was the draining fight I had with Dimitris the previous night that made me soften towards her.
I didn’t have an ounce of a fight in me, and to be honest, I was emotionally depleted thinking about what my future entailed with Dimi. Maybe it was time to move forward. What had happened to Carter was evidence that we were all fragile beings. We could die tomorrow, and we’d always carry regrets that weighed heavily on our hearts. I couldn’t go on that way; it was grueling to hate everyone who had done me wrong.