Untamed (Thoughtless #4)(85)
Harold let out a frustrated grunt, similar to my schoolteachers when they had to “dumb down” something so I could learn it. “Acing It has been cancelled, Griffin. Thank you for your time and energy, but your services are no longer needed.”
Like a massive earthquake had just struck the city, I lost the ability to stand. Luckily for me, a nearby couch was close. I landed on it with a thud. “What?” I whispered, stupefied. “Cancelled? It can’t be cancelled, it hasn’t even been aired yet. What you’re saying doesn’t make sense…”
“Yes, well, to put it bluntly, the studio and the creator have decided that it is no longer worth their time and energy, and ultimately, it’s their choice.”
“But…how can they decide that before it airs? It’s going to be huge, they just have to stick it out!” I was screeching into the phone now, but my tone didn’t alter Harold’s.
“I’m very sorry to have to tell you this. I was…very hopeful about this one.” He said it like he did this all the time. I didn’t. This show was all I had.
“This is bullshit!” Standing up, I began pacing. “We’ll go somewhere else, somewhere where the people have more vision.”
“We can’t, Mr. Hancock.”
“Why the f*ck can’t we?” I yelled into the phone.
Harold sighed. “The show doesn’t belong to us, it belongs to the creator, and he’s decided that he wants to go in a different direction. And besides…no one else wanted the show. LMF was our only prospect.”
I had no clever retort to that. No flash of brilliance to make this all pan out. All I had was a knot of indigestion roiling in my belly, making me feel like I was going to throw up. “But…I gave up everything for this…” I whispered. What the f*ck was I going to tell Anna?
Harold sniffed. “Yes, that is unfortunate, but these things happen. You just have to dust yourself off and try again. I’m sure one day you’ll be a huge success. Best of luck, Mr. Hancock.”
He disconnected the line before I could respond. I stared at the phone for a second, then dropped it onto the couch. One day I would be a huge success? Those were his parting words of wisdom for me? But I’d already been successful before him…with the guys…and I’d left the band to do this. Because this was supposed to get me even greater success. But now…it hadn’t even really started and it was over, and the band was over, and I had no f*cking clue what to do. The knot of tension in my stomach started replicating uncontrollably, and I had to lean over and put my head between my knees. Taking deep breaths, I tried to focus my vision; it kept wavering in and out. I’d bet everything on this gamble, given up my spot in the band, created tension in my otherwise flawless marriage, and all because I hadn’t really thought the show was a gamble. It was supposed to be a sure thing. And now it was gone. Jesus…what the f*ck do I do now?
Three hours later, I was still in my office, staring at the gold records lining the walls, trying to think of a way to keep my dream alive and to keep my marriage from falling apart. If Anna knew it was all for nothing…the crack between us would grow into something truly ugly. I felt numb. I felt hopeless. I felt defeated. It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way.
A timid knock on the doorframe got my attention. A bare leg swung through the door and wrapped around the frame, and with a bright smile on her lips, Anna rotated her body into the room. She was hugging the doorframe like it was a stripper pole. Any other day the sight would have given me an instant boner, but I was too shell-shocked to be aroused. My plan had been flawless…what the hell had happened?
“There you are. I just got off the phone with Kiera. She and the girls are coming up next weekend.” Her smile was bright and carefree, then it turned playful. “Were you watching porn in here? Without me?”
She giggled and a brief smile lightened my face. It instantly fell off as the heaviness of reality weighed down on me. Fuck. How did I tell her I was a failure? I’d asked her to trust me. I’d assured her everything would work out. I’d be a loser in her eyes if she knew the truth. I couldn’t handle the thought of being anything other than amazing in her eyes. I’m so proud of you, Griffin. Goddammit.
Seeing my expression, Anna let go of the doorframe and stepped into the room. “What’s going on? Did you hear something about the show? When’s it airing? I think it’s so weird that they won’t tell you. And it’s not on the schedule yet…it’s only a few weeks away?”
Ice-cold fear froze my limbs, while acid-like doubt gnawed holes in my stomach. How do I tell her what a f*ckup I am? That I’d given up my plush high-paying job, ripped her from her home, her family, and her friends, lied to her, broken her trust…for nothing. She hadn’t wanted to come here, she hadn’t wanted me to do this, but she’d gone along with it because we were a team and she believed in me. And I’d just lost the only hope I’d had to prove to her that I could be a star without the guys. If I told her the show was cancelled, she’d freak out. She’d be furious about everything I’d thrown away to do this. No, she’d be more than furious, she’d leave…she’d go back to Seattle and leave me here to rot. Or she’d ask me to come with her, but I couldn’t go back there. I just couldn’t. Not as a failure with my tail between my legs.