Unravel(69)

He said that he’d be flying in today and staying for a week. Once upon a time, Lachlan coming back home would’ve made my entire year. But after that kiss everything had changed. I thought things would remain the same, but I was wrong. The summer I turned eighteen, I waited and waited for him, but he never came home. He’d said that it was a busy summer with his internship and he said that with his carefree voice, like he knew that I would always be in McLean, waiting for him. But could I blame him?

If the past showed us anything, it was that I was standing there, always waiting for him. But all of that was about to change. Maybe he knew I would be leaving here. Maybe that’s what made him come home.

He still e-mailed me and I got calls from him daily. Technically, I knew more about him than ever before. I wanted to see him face to face. I needed his physical presence just as bad as his words.

I heard the sound of footsteps and turned. Lachlan was walking this way. His gaze was on the ground and his hands were pushing branches away from his face. He finally glanced up and stopped in his tracks.

We took each other in.

He was wearing jeans, and a gray t-shirt that was loose around his stomach and stretched tight around the shoulders.

I wiped my palms on my shorts as he came closer. My heart was drumming in my chest. The sun tinted his hair a golden brown. It was longer than normal, with strands brushing against his forehead. There was stubble on his cheeks and jaw. And those eyes that drove me crazy were less playful and more serious.

I skipped formalities, just like I always did with him. “Did you just get in?”

He nodded and took a step forward. “Landed an hour ago.”

I looked around. “How was your flight?”

He looked at me carefully and took a step forward. “It was boring. I planned on getting some paperwork done, but I was seated next to a guy who talked to me the whole time,” he said conversationally.

I smirked. Right about now would be the time I would ask for the entire story. But right now I had too much I needed to get off my chest.

“Have you been waiting long?” he asked.

I walked around slowly, kicking an acorn back and forth. “I haven’t been here too long.”

“Good. I was—”

I didn’t want to stand here and pretend that everything was the same. I stopped short and quickly turned around.

“I’m getting out of here, Lach,” I said in a rush.

Not a sound was made. It was as though my words sucked the air around us.

Lachlan stood perfectly still. “What?”

“I got accepted to Millikin University.” I smiled, but Lachlan didn’t return my smile. “It’s a private college in central Illinois. I-I’ve always wanted to apply there, and I finally got the courage.”

I waited for him to say something, but he never did. He tucked his hands into his pockets, rocked back on his heels. His eyes became fixated on the trees behind me.

“When are you leaving?” he finally asked.

I watched him carefully. “In a few weeks.”

He looked at me and I saw the misery in his eyes. “That’s great.”

“Is it?”

Lachlan nods.

I stepped forward. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m happy for you, Naomi.” He smiled, but it never reached his eyes.

“Are you?”

“Of course.” He crossed his arms and looked back at the trail.

I placed my hand on his arm. “You always told me to dream and to want something outside of McLean. So I did. And now I’m getting out of here and you look…”

His chin lifted. He looked me square in the eye. “I look what?”

“You look angry,” I said very quietly.

“I’m… frustrated. Just when I’m coming back home for good, you’re up and leaving.”

If this wasn’t happening to me I would’ve laughed at the irony, but all I could do was breathe through the pain of knowing that the world was against us. The thought occurred to me then that we would probably never have the perfect opportunity to be together.

“I knew someday you were going to get the hell out of this place. I just didn’t expect it to be now.”

Before he came here I’d had every intention of letting him know just how angry I was. I planned on yelling at him. So where was that anger now?

“I’ve been here the entire time. What stopped you from coming home?”

“You were seventeen!”

“So?”

He tilted his head to the side. “You’re just a—”

I backed away. “I swear to God if you say kid I will lose it!” I yelled. “You’ve known for a long time that the years have caught up with us. The age gap isn’t so wide anymore. You knew it last year and you knew it a few years ago when you kissed me!”

His shoulders straightened defiantly. His lips were in a tight line. He wanted to deny my words so much. Instead of shouting and letting the truth free he took a step back, and then another.

“I’m not going to stand here and fight with you,” he finally said.

“So you’re going to leave?” I said to his retreating figure.

“It’s better than this!” he shouted over his shoulder.

“I told you a long time ago that I love you. I still do.”