Unravel(57)

There was a large, off-white bookcase that flanked the entertainment center. A comfy, tan couch with a large, gilded mirror mounted on the wall behind it. And there were flowers on every available space. On the kitchen table, the end table. Real or fake. It didn’t really matter to Lana. I asked her why she had so many. She said when she looked at them her spirits would instantly lift.

Lana looked down at the pillow lying on her lap and picked at a loose thread. “It’s been fun picking things out.”

“And it’s been fun going from store to store picking things out with you.”

I made myself comfortable on the couch and took a good look at her.

“You’re doing okay?” I asked.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

That was Lana’s go-to answer. Every time she said it, her voice was hollow. But today I heard excitement and saw the small spark of hope in her eyes.

She drew her knees close to her chest and leaned in, as if she was sharing a secret.

“I signed up for some online college courses,” she confessed.

“That’s great!”

Lana shrugged and looked away, hiding her blushing face. “It’s not much but—”

I held up my hand. “Stop right there. Don’t say it’s not much. It’s a huge step in the right direction.”

“I knew you would say that.”

“What are friends for?”

Lana smiled warmly. “I still want to look for a job.”

“That’s good,” I said tentatively.

Lana had to do most everything on her own terms. Sure, I could encourage her until I was blue in the face, but ultimately, it had to be her that made the final choice.

“I guess so,” she said as she trailed her fingers across the couch cushion. “I thought about what you said.”

I nodded, urging her to continue.

“I went into the bookstore three times yesterday. I hung around the shelves, staring at the cash register, just waiting to get the courage to walk up there and ask for an application. I wimped out each time and now everyone who works there probably thinks I’m a stalker.”

She gave me a weak smile. I frowned.

“I told you I’d help you find a job.”

“I know. But I wanted to get a head start. I can’t live off my savings for the rest of my life.”

“It’d be a nice way to live though, right?” I teased.

“The best way.”

“Look…” I said thoughtfully. “It’s only been three weeks. You’re getting used to this new change in your life. Give it some time.”

“How much time will I need?”

“Doesn’t matter. There’s no cut off point or expiration date. Just take all the time you need.”

She glanced over at me and quietly asked, “How’s Max?”

“He’s good.”

I never told her about the conversation I overheard between Max and her dad. I saw no reason in letting her know. She was doing well, so why would I bring it up? It would take all the progress she had made and blow it to smithereens.

“Have you talked to Lachlan?” she asked. Her tone was carefree, but she watched me carefully.

I walked over to the patio doors, looking at the buildings around us. I didn’t want to talk about him. He was a ghost that needed to be laid to rest. All those memories I had with him needed to stay buried with him. But just the mention of his name brought up those memories: laying flat on our backs in the treehouse, talking and talking and talking. That very first kiss that turned my world upside down.

I swallowed and closed my eyes, trying to make those memories disappear.

My eyes opened. I was still standing in place. Still standing in Lana’s apartment, yet, my mind was rooted in the past. I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Nope.”

“Not once?”

“Nope,” I repeated, my voice tight.

“That’s… strange.”

I turned. “Why is it strange?”

“He’s been in your life for the past ten years.”

“So?”

“It’s just weird that you would cut him out.”

“I haven’t cut him out.”

She tilted her head. “Then what do you call what you’re doing?”

“Everything’s changed, Lana.”

“I know that better than anyone. But you can’t just—”

My gut started to twist painfully. This was a conversation I wasn’t ready for.

“Stop,” I interrupted.

“What is this?” There was a small smile on Lana’s face as she waved a hand in between us. “Normally, you’re the one handing out advice and leading me in the right direction.”

Is that what Lana thought she was doing? She thought Lachlan was the right direction?

“There’s no need for leading, Lana. I’m just fine,” I said softly.

My breathing became shallow. I crossed my arms, but it was only to hide my shaking hands. I didn’t want to shut her out, but I refused to talk about Lachlan. I exhaled loudly and picked up my purse.

“I gotta go. I’ll see you later?”

Lana looked at me for a long second. For a moment, I was afraid that she could see the truth.