Unravel(56)

“You don’t,” he repeated.

I smiled sadly. It was all I could do.

Lachlan rubbed his eyes and groaned before he turned toward the trees. I stared at his back. His fingers were laced and resting on his head.

He whirled around. “I think you’re confused,” he said knowingly.

I was shaking my head before he even finished speaking.

“I’m right,” he continued. “It’s a little crush. Just an infatuation that you’ve had for years.”

“You’re wrong.”

“I’m right.”

He walked close enough for me to see the confusion in his eyes. And then he leaned in close. Closer than he’d ever been. His breath tickled my skin. I seized this moment. I looked at him. I mean, really looked, like I’d never done before. Water dripped down his face and curved around one cheekbone before it dropped onto his jacket. His lashes were spiky. There was dark stubble on his face. On the tip of his nose was a bead of water that dropped onto the groove above his upper lip and trickled down. Before I could watch that water drip disappear between his lips, he kissed me. I felt that bead of water against my lips and my eyes instantly closed. Even though I was drenched from head to toe, my skin felt like it was on fire. My blood roared through my veins and I couldn’t pull away if my life depended on it because Lachlan Halstead was finally kissing me.

I think he went into the kiss convinced that my ‘crush’ would never be over until he put it to rest. He thought the kiss would be two pairs of lips meeting and it would flat and be over within seconds.

But it was so much more than a simple kiss.

Everything stopped: time, breathing, my mind.

All I could focus on was his lips pressed against mine. He didn’t move them away, or increase the pressure. I was grateful for that because even this one simple contact made all the tingling seem like it was nothing. Right when I was reaching up to wrap my arms around him, he pulled away.

All the warmth from his lips disappeared and it felt like cold water had been thrown onto me. My eyes fluttered open. I stumbled into him. He jumped back like he’d been burned.

We stood there in silence, staring at each other in a half-daze.

I was the first to recover. “Do that again.”

Lachlan said nothing. Just blinked rapidly at me as the rain fell down around us.

“Do it again.” I couldn’t stop staring at his lips.

“No.”

“Do it,” I stepped closer. “Kiss me. Show me what to do.”

He took a step back and then another and another until he was pressed up against a tree. I saw just how unsure he was and I also saw lust. I wasn’t imagining it. My eyes weren’t playing tricks on me.

“You and I both know that was a really bad idea,” he said, his voice strained.

“Was it though?” I whispered.

He flinched as if I had struck him.

I stayed perfectly still and waited for Lachlan to do something, anything.

A deep, shuddering breath escaped him as he closed his eyes. He was at war with himself. And I saw the moment where he ignored that part that held him back. My pulse hammered as he leaned into me. This time his lips didn’t just linger. They moved, slanting across mine slowly.

I followed his lead. I chased after his breath, opened my mouth. His lips were warm compared to the cold rain and softer than I expected. My heart was thundering so hard it felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. I pulled away slightly. The tip of his nose brushed against mine. His lips were a hairsbreadth away from mine. The look in his eyes was powerful, showing me that if I hadn’t pulled away we would still be kissing. I swallowed hard.

“You told me to never trust a guy,” I said, my voice shaky.

“You were supposed to listen,” he said against my lips.

We went back in at the same time. This kiss was even stronger than the last.

His fingers sank into my wet hair. My hands reached up, curling around his neck, holding onto him like he was my anchor. I stood on my tiptoes. My elbows rested on his shoulders and I reached behind my head, grabbed my hood and pulled it up and over our heads. I had waited years to kiss him and I didn’t want to share Lachlan. Not even with the rain.

It fell around us, hitting my hood as Lachlan gently tilted my head to the side. The kiss deepened. I felt his tongue against my lips. I opened my mouth. Lachlan hummed and I answered with a whimper. I didn’t know if what I was doing was right. I just followed what made me feel good.

Slowly, my tongue touched his. Lachlan shifted close. I could feel him through his jeans. I breathed through my nose.

He ripped himself away.

Lachlan was breathing heavily. He rested his forehead against mine.

We didn’t say a word.


27—RUNNING START


Another morning.

Another day in Dr. Rutledge’s office.

Before she can ask me how I am and what happened next, my mouth is already open and the words are pouring from my mouth…



28—HAPPINESS

“I love what you’ve done.”

“Really?” Lana said.

I turned and smiled. “Really.”

I made a circle around Lana’s living room, looking at the little touches she had put throughout the apartment to make this space hers.

Turns out, you can find some good stuff at thrift stores. Or maybe Lana just had a good eye. She picked things out that by themselves, just looked used and ugly. But together it all worked.