Unmarriageable(53)

‘Why the hell did you invite Jena to begin with?’ Sammy snarled. They were in Darsee’s car on their way to the New Year’s party, having gone to their homes to change out of their wedding finery and into party clothes, which, for Hammy and Sammy, meant the skimpiest outfits the current state of their slim figures would allow.

‘Your puppy-like behaviour is bad enough,’ Hammy said, ‘but that mother has apparently been informing the world that there is soon to be a wedding.’

‘You’re stringing Jena along, Bungles,’ Sammy said, ‘and that’s not very nice.’

‘Let Brother Bungles have his fun,’ Jaans said. ‘Jena’s an adult!’

‘Jena is an adult!’ Hammy said to Bungles. ‘She’s thirty-two years old to your twenty-five. Seven years’ age difference.’

‘She could be a hundred years older than me for all I care,’ Bungles said, a bit cowed by the glares his sisters and even Darsee were giving him, though he glared back. ‘And I certainly don’t care who her mother is or where she comes from.’

‘We care,’ Hammy said, ‘so that’s that.’

‘It’s not just the mother factor,’ Darsee said. ‘I don’t believe Jena Binat is interested in you. She sits there without a smile. She barely says two words when you ask her a question. If she’s a gold-digger, she’s not a very good one.’

‘Perhaps,’ Bungles said in a hesitant voice, ‘she’s not a gold-digger at all.’

‘Her mother is a gold-digger!’ Hammy said. ‘“Like mother, like daughter,” they say.’

‘Why should I listen to “they”?’ Bungles asked. ‘Who is “they”?’

‘We are they,’ Hammy and Sammy thundered simultaneously.

‘But I like Jena,’ Bungles said. ‘I like her very much.’

‘That’s because the mother has put a hex on you,’ Hammy said. ‘I can’t believe you invited Jena and her sisters to the party. Fazool is going to freak. You know how exclusive and classy she keeps her parties. The Binat sisters probably can’t believe their lucky stars. Let’s hope their car gets a flat tyre and we are spared all five frights.’



For perhaps the first time in his life, Ajmer did not get lost on the way to an address, and so it happened that the Binat sisters arrived at the party at the same time that Darsee’s car did. As Bungles’s and Jena’s eyes met, Alys was finally convinced that her mother was right: Bungles meant to propose at the stroke of midnight. There could be no other meaning behind the tender look he was giving Jena, who, in her turn, looked away from him, clearly overcome.

The group entered the gate to the mansion and walked to the front door, behind which music was playing. The door opened and Hammy and Sammy were air-kissed by a slinky woman in a silver halter top and QaziKreations’ most expensive mohti, the miniskirt dhoti shimmering with semi-precious stones; a man beside her grinned toothily when he saw them all.

‘Amazing outfits! Love the shoes!’ the woman said, looking Hammy and Sammy up and down as they tottered in red-soled black platforms. Hammy was in black leather biker shorts, a red lace bustier, and a black mesh bolero, and Sammy was in red leather biker shorts, a black lace bustier, and a red mesh bolero.

‘Thank yous, thank yous,’ Hammy-Sammy said, complimenting Fazool’s mohti and her red-soled nude Louboutins in return. Hammy introduced her to the Binats.

‘Sisters Binat, these are our darling friends, Fauzia “Fazool” Fazal and her husband, Hamid “the Moolee” Fazal,’ Hammy said. ‘Friends, these are the five Binat sisters. Bungles graciously invited them. I hope you don’t mind.’

Fazool’s eyes narrowed as she took in Mari’s local garb, so out of place at such a happening event as her New Year’s bash, at Qitty in a crushed-velvet black tent, at Lady in white jeans and a T-shirt that said UNMARRIAGEABLE in glitter and showed off her ample cleavage. Fazool glanced at Alys, whose chest also caused her envy. As for Jena – why did God bless some girls with so much beauty? Oh well, Fazool was rich and up there in the social register and clearly they were not, so she gave them the vapid smile reserved for nobodies who could not be completely ignored and said, ‘Do come in.’

‘Yes! Do!’ Moolee ran his fingers through the curly chest hair crawling out of his half-buttoned Versace shirt. ‘The more girls, the merrier. Bungles, Darsee, Jaans, good to see you all. Hammy-Sammy, as usual – looking ready to mingle and tingle.’

Moolee gave Hammy and Sammy lingering hugs. He turned to the Binats with thirsty eyes. ‘We look forward to mingling and tingling with you all, don’t we, Fazool? Now, which one of you pretty sisters wants to hug me first?’

Before the Binat sisters could reply, Fazool laughed as if Moolee had cracked a great joke and then she adroitly turned her husband around, pushed him inside towards the party, and led everyone else indoors.

‘What delights has Moolee been smoking?’ Darsee asked Fazool as they entered the marble entrance with its winding staircase next to a piano with a vase full of blue twigs.

‘Who knows?’ Fazool said. She led them through the entrance and into a glass-panelled corridor alongside the garden and towards the music. ‘Since it’s Happy New Year, I’ve let him off the leash a little.’ She smiled gallantly. ‘And he has let me off my leash too. Fun! Fun! Fun! For me, for him, for everyone. Anyway, he’s harmless, Valoo, you know that!’ Fazool linked arms with Darsee.