Undeniably Yours (Torn, #3.5)(19)

When I opened them, I looked down on the woman who had managed to capture me without doing anything. She made no promises, she didn’t even come on to me and seduce me at all, and yet, I felt hollow inside, knowing that this was all it could be.

I wanted so much more…

My eyes reached into hers and with a sad smile, I grazed my thumb on the tip of her bottom lip, ingraining these lips that I might never get to taste to memory. “You’re such a sweet temptation. You have just enough mixture of sweetness and feistiness. I can’t help wanting you.” I had accepted this fixation of her, whatever it was.

“I like you too much, Bass. I feel what you feel, but in a twisted way, my heart is with Carter.”

Carter.

I envied him because he had Emma. Maybe one day I would meet a woman who would make me feel the way Emma had and would want me in return. Hopefully… “If Carter is the one that makes you happy, then I wish you all the luck, Emma.”

I didn’t want to prolong this awkward tension that was building around us, so I took the initiative and plucked her off the hood and carried her towards the house.

Once we got to my bedroom, I slowly put her down and got down to undressing her. I didn’t think about what I was doing until Emma spoke up, “Bass, I don’t know about this.”

Was it weird that it felt like I was supposed to be doing this? It felt like it was meant to be this way… or was I simply losing my brains here?

f*uk. Why did I want her so much? Why her when she was in love with someone else?

“I won’t cop a feel, I promise. I just want you to be comfortable. Is that agreeable to you?” My tortured eyes searched hers, hoping she’d know I meant each word spoken.

Emma gave a quick nod to go on, so I kept on undressing her. When her dress finally came off her body, I was sucker-punched in the gut because she forgot to mention that she wasn’t wearing a bra.

If I was losing my wits before, I was going mental with need as my eyes took in the beauty of her breasts. They were full, perky, with pink rosebuds, which tightened the more I stared at them.

“Bass? Can you hand me a shirt?”

What? A shirt? What the hell for? I wanted to complain, but my brain registered the fact that these breasts were simply off-limits. Carter, the name popped in my brain. Just like that, I snapped out of my funk. Mumbling an apology, I went to go fetch her a shirt.

I didn’t dare look at her any longer because it was getting difficult to harness myself not to do something. From the corner of my eye, I waited until she was in the bed before I slid down the foot of the mattress and sat on the floor, contemplating if I should drive somewhere tonight. Anywhere other than here…

I thought I could handle myself, but I couldn’t. The mixture of pain, lust and hopelessness were all too powerful right now, and I hated how affected I was.

Emma was just a woman that I barely knew for f*uk’s sake, and yet here I was, seriously f*uked up that she was never going to be mine. So f*uking what, right? There were a lot of women out there. She wasn’t even my type. Sure she was hot, but… she was just not what usually got my blood boiling…

So, what do you call your hard dick then? My mind ping-ponged back at me, mocking my reverie.

I had gotten laid when Emma didn’t respond to my texts. When I’d decided to let it go… let her go. I f*uked while only thinking of her. It was sick of me to do that; it wasn’t something I had ever done before. I was an attentive lover, who was generous to all my women, yet that night; I couldn’t for the life of me get the images of Emma out of my head. I f*uked knowing that she was probably getting laid at the same time by her boyfriend.

I was f*uked, simple as that.

My body cringed at the thought of my reckless actions. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t hear Emma come of out bed until she was practically crouched down next to me. “Hey, what’s upsetting you?”

You. What the hell have you done to me? I wanted to ask, though I responded with a quick shake of my head, not willing for her to know how affected I was by her.

Instead of letting her on my emotions, I followed with my physical one. “I don’t think it’s wise to sleep next to you. I don’t trust myself not to touch you with what little you have on.”

I stared at her painted toenails before my eyes heatedly traced her shapely calves, her thighs and her body over my shirt that jutted out at her pebbled nipples before I finally reached her beautiful face. Did she have to look so darn adorably hot with my shirt on?

When she held out her hand, I took it and got to my feet. We stared awhile before my arms decided to hold her close and we fell on the bed together.

She let out a yelp when we landed sideways. Her neck was right next to my nose, so her scent engulfed me to the core. Like a moth to a flame, my nose sought her neck, nuzzling it before she got too ticklish and started squirming and laughing like a kid.

It was supposed to be harmless, however my needs overcame me, and before I knew it, my hands had skimmed her body heading downwards. Once it reached its destination, my hands roughly cupped her luscious ass and squeezed it. She let out a strangled moan when my teeth softly bit into her earlobe.

It was as if the dam broke and I was ready to conquer her. My hands were fevered and searching for what they could hold as I tried to situate my body over her, hands drawing inside her thighs, ready to open her to me.